Is there a difference between men who are violent to other men and men who are violent to women? Or men who are violent to their partners?
Or does one just eventually become the other and the violence spread everywhere?
I think it's spreads, and that men who are violent have often been on the receiving end of violence, are often traumatised and it frequently escalates as lives spiral out of control. There is a significant number of people for who violence is the currency of every day life, and for who the police are the enemy rather than any kind of support or protection. In that world many men become violent as a protective mechanism - conflicts are not dealt with by the police or courts but with violence, and it's only when that violence ends in serious injury or death - or affects a middle class person who is not part of that world - that it is even really recognised. Living this way traumatises people, both men and women, and combined with things like substance misuse, crap housing, immiserating work, relentless poverty and lack of opportunity and access to support services often escalates to the point where it's very difficult for anyone to escape.
And the only answers society seems to have to those living on the margins often makes things worse, whether that's the criminal justice system or piecemeal services, frequently run by charities, who even when they are genuinely trying to make a difference are underfunded and undermined by the lack of wider social support. You can have the best hostels and refuges in the world but if there's no housing to move on into, or benefits are inadequate, or it's impossible to get decent training or any kind of education it's very rare for these services to function as they should and many people often end up cycling through the system over and over again.
It needs to be recognised that you can't fix individuals in a desperately broken system and that society has to offer a better life to those on the margins, whether they are born into it or end up there. It should be easy to get housing, or training and education, or mental health support, or help with the kids without stigma. No-one should be pushed into crime or desperation by inadequate benefits. And we need to radically rethink how as a society we manage things like drugs, sex work and survival crime. I'm not saying this would end male violence, because it's not these people doing all the violence, but it might just be the start of recognising the scale of the problem and working towards systemic change to address it. Because at the moment, for those at the bottom, violence is one of the few ways that many men feel they can reclaim some power over their lives and may even see it as a way out. And so might some women, or more commonly see that getting involved with a man like that might bring some solutions to the immediate problems they face - which is often lack of money but also a desire for security and protection in a violent world. That's not usually how it works out though. But when kids are growing up and the only people they know who aren't in poverty are men involved in organised crime then understandably some will look to that world as an escape. And it's not really, it's a trap, it demolishes most people and they usually end up in jail, but not before doing a lot of damage to themselves and those around them.
(Sorry btw
Oula, kind of went off the point a bit there, but I do think once violence starts it escalates both within that individual but also affects their communities and those around them and leads to some becoming violent in response. It's like a virus once it starts, which I guess on a larger scale is why it's so hard to bring an end to wars and institutional/state violence)
