ice-is-forming
With dignified ease and grace..
I'm sorry about your friend 
the rollercoaster of emotions after someone close to you has died by suicide is awful, and there's no instruction book for how to feel.
Ime there's the people who have knowingly struggled for years, or had other issues ( ACE scores are a fairly accurate indicator) that really make the death not so unexpected. Not that this makes it any easier.
Then there's the deaths where no one saw it coming, the person had a seemingly good and normal day. They tell their kids they'll be up in 5 minutes to read them a bed time story. They tell their wife they'll be in in 5 minutes, they've just got to put the bins out. But instead, they go into the bathroom or kitchen and suicide. Literally just like that.
The only person guaranteed not to suffer after a suicide is the deceased themselves. I don't feel anger at what they've done, I don't think that they're selfish, they obviously felt that there was no other choice at the time. It's a tragedy.
But whatever the situation, it appears to me that when men finally loose that battle, and do suicide, it often seems to happen very quickly at the end. Obviously though they've had a plan for a while, and been able to gather the means, so why doesn't that plan ( when they're thinking a bit clearer before the 'final straw' ) include making sure they're not found by their kids or wife.
And although I understand theoretically about the overwhelm they are feeling at the time, the way in which the only option they can see becomes death, the reactivity and risk taking behaviour of men... I am angry that for whatever reason, I consistently see the wives and children finding the body, in their home. Practically every time.
It's just too much and too often, it's like a phenomenon, and somehow I think it may belong on this thread
the rollercoaster of emotions after someone close to you has died by suicide is awful, and there's no instruction book for how to feel.Ime there's the people who have knowingly struggled for years, or had other issues ( ACE scores are a fairly accurate indicator) that really make the death not so unexpected. Not that this makes it any easier.
Then there's the deaths where no one saw it coming, the person had a seemingly good and normal day. They tell their kids they'll be up in 5 minutes to read them a bed time story. They tell their wife they'll be in in 5 minutes, they've just got to put the bins out. But instead, they go into the bathroom or kitchen and suicide. Literally just like that.
The only person guaranteed not to suffer after a suicide is the deceased themselves. I don't feel anger at what they've done, I don't think that they're selfish, they obviously felt that there was no other choice at the time. It's a tragedy.
But whatever the situation, it appears to me that when men finally loose that battle, and do suicide, it often seems to happen very quickly at the end. Obviously though they've had a plan for a while, and been able to gather the means, so why doesn't that plan ( when they're thinking a bit clearer before the 'final straw' ) include making sure they're not found by their kids or wife.
And although I understand theoretically about the overwhelm they are feeling at the time, the way in which the only option they can see becomes death, the reactivity and risk taking behaviour of men... I am angry that for whatever reason, I consistently see the wives and children finding the body, in their home. Practically every time.
It's just too much and too often, it's like a phenomenon, and somehow I think it may belong on this thread
