To what extent are you still taking C19 precautions and has your lifestyle been permanently changed by the pandemic (April 2023)?

[Agent Sparrow]

Work wise the most useful change has been the addition and normalisation of video alongside face to face clinical work.

 

[scifisam]

I went for the option of I've gone back to pre-pandemic and life in unchanged, but it's not entirely true, it's just that my situation doesn't quite fit any of the options (which is fine, you can't cover everything). My daughter had to stop uni and restart elsewhere due to lockdown with nearly two yeas lost. And her ability to go out and socialise - which she'd started getting a good handle on pre-covid - has nosedived. so it's made massive difference to her life, and therefore mine. But we aren't living life any differently despite me being CEV.

Oh - except that I do test us both if we have symptoms (I get free tests).

At hospitals, once or twice a month, I wear a mask. I very occasionally wear a mask on public transport if I feel like I might have something infectious; wearing masks is very difficult for me, so it's only for short journeys.

I do keep one in my bag so that I can wear it if needed, and we all know that that mask won't be as effective as a proper mask, but it will still protect people more than if I didn't wear anything.

 

[ElizabethofYork]

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

Sadly, a lot of workplaces take a very dim view of people not coming in because of a cold. It's not so bad now, that people can work from home. But before that was a thing, loads of people were expected to work if they "just" had a cold.

 

[panpete]

I voted "other".
I used to have one of those green sunflower lanyards as I found masks uncomfortable. (possibly a sensory thing, being on the autistic spectrum)
I wore one if I absolutely had to, for instance, the year before last, I was going to a medical appointment, in a car, and the lady who gave me a lift preferred me to wear one.
Although I never wore one myself, I used to social distance more, as I know how anxious COVID made people.
I never used to believe in it, until I got it. It was the strangest virus, I was not too bad with it.
When I was posting my PCR test last year, I warned strangers who passed me on the way to the post box I might have it.
Nowadays, I don't worry, if I get COVID again, I get it.

 

[Aladdin]

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

Yep. I never understood this.

Pre covid I was working and on immunosuppressants. The risk of infection was relatively high but I really lost the plot when a colleague who knew I was immunosuppressed came into lunch break clearly dying of flu and sat next to me. She proceeded to cough and splutter and other staff were sympathising with her because she was so sick.
I turned to her and said "what the fuck are you doing coming into work spreading the flu around? And you decide to sit next to me knowing I am immunosuppressed???".
She actually had the bottle to defend herself spitting at me in anger.
I left.
She came after me shouting that she had supported my request for an adjustment to my working conditions and how very dare I say boo to her.
I never spoke toher again.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

These threads kind of annoy me because they're all about masks and infection and nobody talks about the enormous upheaval and trauma. I wonder if everybody else lived through a different pandemic than me and end up suspecting that people in couples did actually.

The complete deprivation of human contact was incredibly traumatising for me and has left me very bitter and resentful. A large part of my social life has always been around being in bands and that stopped dead.

I'm in a band now that was started explicitly as a post pandemic recovery and rehab project and it's being incredibly helpful.

On the work front I was previously an outlier working from home for health reasons, whereas now it's the norm and I feel a lot more included, so that's good.

But really, has everyone forgotten the terror, the food insecurity, the distress at not being able to see people they love? Nobody suffered any ill effects at all?

I had a little cry the other night, when reading a random article that mentioned how a couple had started dating just before Covid-19 pandemic and as everywhere went into lockdown they ended up moving in together, or rather she ended up staying at his place (keeping her own place but not really living there), and that enforced togetherness seemed to have turbo-charged their relationship because fast forward, they're married.

It made me sad, thinking back, that as other people coupled up, had someone to share the experience with and support them through it, I'd had no one to bubble with in lockdowns, not just that I was single and didn't have a partner, but went through all the lockdowns with no bubble. I'm a care leaver, so I have no family. And it really hurt that some friends bubbled with other friends, and they all have family, albeit their family might live further away, so they couldn't physically hang out with their families, but they had families who they were in contact with, people were having Zoom parties with their families, but they were bubbling with other friends who lived locally.

I had no one. No family. No bubble. I was so, so, so very lonely. I don't think I've got over that. I think that deep down I haven't really forgiven some friends who live locally for bubbling with each other and not even bothering to consider that I don't have any family - I was battered by my father, physically, emotionally and psychologically abused, and taken into care as a child - so maybe I might need to be a bubble with them more than the other friend who has family, albeit living too far away to see physically.

A friend who'd moved away took to calling me around once a week for a chat, which was lovely, and then a few months into the lockdown invited me to a weekly sort of 'pub quiz' via Zoom with teams from all over.

Late last year, I had dinner on my birthday, the friend who'd moved away and the friends who are a couple who live locally invited me to dinner at a bar. We were chatting and catching up, sharing updates about other mutual friends and so on, and the couple were talking about how they'd been out a few times with other friend who lives locally, talking about how they went for cocktails, went to a new bar, and so on. And I was sitting there, trying to be upbeat, because it was my birthday, but inside I felt like crying, because I was thinking how insensitive they were being, it was my birthday and they were talking about the wonderful times they'd had in their little bubble, which didn't include me, happily talking about socialising with someone else when I'd been stuck at home by myself throughout lockdowns, not speaking to anyone for days at a time, sometimes the only person I would speak to all week was the grocery/pizza deliver guy if I'd ordered something, and when things did start to open up, I had no family, no bubble to hang out with. It really hurt. On my birthday, of all days, they were telling me about what a good time they'd had with someone else, when as a couple they'd had each other, plus their bubble person, and meanwhile I'd had no one at all.

And I think that's effected my self-esteem and self-confidence. I feel really unlovable and unlikeable. Deep down, I don't feel like I'm a horrible unlikeable person... and yet...? No one wanted to bubble with me. Despite all my friends knowing I have no family. Lots of my friends are coupled up or have housemates, so they had each other, plus they made bubbles with other households, but not one single friend reached out to ask to bubble with me.

Sometimes, I just think: Is this it? Is this all life has to offer? Now that I'm unemployed again, I spend day in, day out, not speaking a single word to a living soul, the only people I 'talk to' are virtual strangers on the internet. I recently did a French course, evening classes for eight weeks, and that three hours once a week was the highlight of my week. Although there's a couple of guys who are occasional drinking buddies, one's an ex from many years ago-turned friend, and the other guy is a mate of his, and we sometimes go drinking/to gigs, but I feel like a bit of a spare part, and they bubbled with each other, naturally.

So, yeah, RubyToogood I relate all too well. Lots of people moan about how they had to work from home while their partner was also working from home and/or they had to juggle home-schooling with work, or maybe they moaned about their flatmate being loud on Zoom meetings while wfh or wanting to do Joe Wicks workout in the sitting room when they needed to work or whatever and all those problems of living on top of one another in a relatively confined space. And I just think: At least you didn't have to go through one of the worst, scariest things to have happened to humanity in a century all alone.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Yep. I never understood this.

Pre covid I was working and on immunosuppressants. The risk of infection was relatively high but I really lost the plot when a colleague who knew I was immunosuppressed came into lunch break clearly dying of flu and sat next to me. She proceeded to cough and splutter and other staff were sympathising with her because she was so sick.
I turned to her and said "what the fuck are you doing coming into work spreading the flu around? And you decide to sit next to me knowing I am immunosuppressed???".
She actually had the bottle to defend herself spitting at me in anger.
I left.
She came after me shouting that she had supported my request for an adjustment to my working conditions and how very dare I say boo to her.
I never spoke toher again.

Ohmigod! What did management say/do? Didn't they send her home on sick leave and tell her not to be so fucking selfish and stupid? Also, shouting at you like that: disability hate crime, disability-related bullying and harassment, disability discrimination.

 

[LDC]

As has been said some workplaces have savage sickness policies, it's hard to stay off sick with every cold or cough or you end up in the shit, sometimes quite quickly. Even the NHS can be pretty brutal with sickness and if you're on a certain sickness stage and you get a cough but feel OK it's no surprise people come to work.

 

[Aladdin]

Ohmigod! What did management say/do? Didn't they send her home on sick leave and tell her not to be so fucking selfish and stupid? Also, shouting at you like that: disability hate crime, disability-related bullying and harassment, disability discrimination.

Well at the time she was senior management. So.....basically fuck all was done.

 

[campanula]

I have half a box of masks left that recently I've only worn on demos, and I still use the plastic tray thing from lateral flow tests to skin up on. That's about it tbh.

My youngest does the same.

 

[Elpenor]

Plenty of workplaces will have a 3-day lead in for sickness so no sick pay is paid due until day 4, or pay nothing but SSP. Completely wrong.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

it's something that came up in my union branch AGM last week - employer is still advising not to come to workplace / do work that involves visiting clients at home etc if you have covid, but has reverted to the pre-covid sickness policy

 

[campanula]

Apart from worrying about other people, I worked outside, alone and am very shy and antisocial anyway. I haven't had Covid (unsurprisingly, since I never see anyone or go anywhere) and honestly loved empty streets. The pandemic was a really good thing for me since it was the only time I felt able to indulge my need for solitude without feeling like a miserable shit. I do feel there is an epidemic of loneliness but don't think that is much to do with the pandemic but a whole lot to do with all sorts of other things such as breakdown of stable communities, travelling to work (and the oddly atomising nature of a lot of it), housing issues, the weird faux-intimacy of online life, late capitalism. The rise of the single household has been on the increase for a coupla decades and WFH had been gaining traction even before the pandemic but I do think it normalised it as a plausible concept.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

I can’t imagine what lockdown must have been like to go through alone, or likewise remaining alone as things started to open up again. But it’s worth saying that “juggling home schooling with work” nearly fucking broke me.

Because “juggling” was working full days at home in a mental health key worker role that became more and more demanding as time went on, with 4 and 6 year old neurodivergent children at home (as youngest was in an NHS nursery where key worker places were rationed), with youngest being in the midst of an incredibly stressful health/developmental issue and eldest frequently sobbing that I cared more about my child patients than her. And tbh I did often feel that I was putting everyone else’s mental health needs above my family’s, and my family’s above my own. Undiagnosed ADHD was a particularly crappy cherry on the top.

It’s very easy to think other people in different situations had it way better than us, and it’s also dangerous. For me, I was so envious of couples or families that had been furloughed and didn’t have to manage the near impossible load on me. Oh to have that free time, even boredom! How I longed for boredom. Of course in reality, boredom is incredibly bad for one’s mental health and unoccupied minds often slip into carastrophic thought loops or turn to destructive coping mechanisms, not to mention the uncertainty of what would happen if furlough was stopped.

It’s difficult to say anything conclusive about any group tbf, as so much of how individuals coped depended on variable resources, be those financial, historical, psychological, social (if distanced) etc. I was absolutely astonished at how resilient my mum, a woman in her 70s living alone with high levels of anxiety, coped with the whole thing. I also know of people who, despite on paper looking like they should have been sorted, just crumbled.

 

[RubyToogood]

I wouldn't necessarily argue that the resentment is rational btw. The situation itself somehow generated it. Like cats being off with you when you've been on holiday.

Speaking of which that was the other thing I found unbearable. The first thing everyone did when any restrictions were lifted was go on holiday. So I still didn't see anyone. Then it was back into lockdown again (or whatever level of restriction it was - all of them effectively meant I couldn't see anyone).

 

[Dystopiary]

No, there's no legal obligation on people to test, etc., and very many people feel no moral obligation either, lots of people don't give a shit whether they infect someone else with a potentially deadly disease.

I phoned the minicab company after I caught Covid-19, asked if they get their drivers to test if they're coughing, was told they don't have to test.

I asked why he apparently hadn't test and was still working when he had a bad cough, presumably Covid-19, and when in the car and I asked the driver if he'd tested himself for Covid-19 the driver told me that 'we don't legally have to wear masks any more, but we do' I had to point out that wearing it on his chin(!) was pointless and could he please wear it properly.

I called both their operator and the driver cunts and will never use that minicab company again. I mean, how fucking irresponsible? Selfish fucking cunts.

When I caught it, I didn't go out, I stayed at home and self-isolated, stayed in my bedroom, because I had a friend and a lodger staying at mine, only left my room - while wearing a mask - to use the bathroom (and I didn't spend any long periods of time in there, didn't shower, didn't have a bath), and to go the kitchen to get stuff to eat and drink, which I took back to my room.

One of the hardest things about Covid 19 has been seeing how utterly selfish people can be. It's properly upset me and I've tried hard to understand it. First the government didn't close the airports and generally didn't seem too bothered in the early days. Even nearly dying of it didn't stop Johnson from making an effort to take reasonable precautions. (edit: didn't get him to make an effort to take reasonable precautions - I meant the opposite of what I wrote!)

But that's a bunch of people who, let's face it, probably score pretty highly on the psychopath test.

But there were loads of unmasked people coughing everywhere without covering their face, shoving past others when there's a 2 metre guideline, generally not seeming to give one shit whether they caught it or passed it on. I found it genuinely weird that, even if people didn't care about anyone else, they might not want to get it themselves.

I think a lot of people just couldn't face or believe it, and I get that up to a point but it doesn't fully explain it. I think stuff like cuts in public funding, social care and the NHS going seriously downhill and "austerity" generally has negatively affected a lot of people, even before the pandemic hit.

 

[weepiper]

I wasn't really thinking of the psychological impact when I posted before. I find it difficult to think about it tbh because it was an extremely difficult couple of years for me personally and as a family. Right before the first lockdown started my then partner, who lived with us, had very major bowel surgery, so he was recovering from that just as everyone started getting Covid. And he had an underlying chronic health condition which was the reason for the surgery. I work in a bike shop so we were exempt from the lockdown which meant I was going to work all day, wearing a mask all day and coming home, stripping off at the front door putting clothes straight in the washing machine and getting in the shower before I went anywhere near him because I was so afraid of accidentally killing him. And the bike shop was very quickly insanely busy because going for a bike ride was one of the only recreational things you could do, so I was seeing a lot of people all day any one of whom might have infected me.

The kids also had the same stress going to school and back and forth between our house where they might infect and possibly kill aforementioned partner, and their dad's house where they might infect and possibly kill their 88 year old grandfather who lived there. It was awful for them. My eldest had a terrible final year at school because of this and my middle one pretty much had a breakdown at the end of 2021 after several lockdowns which meant home schooling sharing a room and a laptop with his little brother. When school began again properly and they were expected just to magically be able to go back to work as normal like nothing had ever happened he couldn't cope at all.

One of my colleagues is type 1 diabetic and lives alone. At least he could come to work and get some human contact that way but we were all scared of infecting him too. I remember him saying before the vaccines started 'I can't remember the last time anyone touched me' and it was really gutting to hear. I couldn't even give him a hug because, you know, kids at school and so on, it was too risky.

All of that has made quite deep scars. My personal space has sort of permanently expanded in that I get uncomfortable if anyone not in my immediate family gets too close to me. I don't know how to fix that.

 

[krtek a houby]

I do miss cinemas and restaurants a lot and meeting pals at the drop of a hat to go somewhere...

That sounds like the Ireland we left around 25 years ago. Have not encountered that spontaneous vibe for such a long time.

 

[thismoment]

I sometimes wonder if the postnatal depression/anxiety wouldn’t have been as bad as it is. If I wouldn’t have resented my partners ability to retain some normalcy (still working) whereas I had a new baby and a pandemic- neither of which I had before. Although he didn’t have a pandemic previously either tbf. I wonder If I would have been made redundant. I still follow all the baby groups on social media and can see that I missed a lot based on some of the amazing social parents groups/events that are open now.

It’s strange how it still gives me such a thud in my chest to think of 2020.

There isn’t anything I can think of that I don’t do that I didn’t used to because of the pandemic but I supposed having a child meant my life changed anyway. I am much more comfortable going out alone because when things first opened up with all the socialising restrictions I found it easier to go out by myself for the need of a change of scenery.

 

[friendofdorothy]

Yes I don't think I'll ever be quite the same. I've got over the worst of the panic/ anxiety attacks. I can now do buses, pubs and local trains. Still wear masks on transport and shops. I still get a bit anxious at times and avoid crowds. Im nervous about hospital and GP appointments so have avoided them.

I'm also in the retired a lot earlier than I planned group. I can't imagine coping with the demands of an employer or working in a office again. Not sure how I feel about international travel either, as I can't imagine being on a train going up north either atm. Yet.

But really, has everyone forgotten the terror, the food insecurity, the distress at not being able to see people they love? Nobody suffered any ill effects at all?

Food insecurity really added to my panic. The breakdown of supply chains was a terrifying thought. I hoped it would make a permanent change to how supermarkets unrealistically ignore seasonal produce, but no despite all the shortages since, they haven't changed the way they sell produce airfreighted from around the globe.

I totally agree it had to happen but the impact on people living alone could have been actually considered and properly mitigated.

There could have been some effort to get people back together (and not around the fucking monarchy) if anybody gave a shit which this heteronormative society and corrupt government do not.

Yes I couldn't understand the ever changing rules, they were just weird and illogical. Can't have more than 6 people thing was just so abitary, but ok to go shopping? How did anyone trust this useless fucking govt?

Granted I wasn't living alone, and I realise how lucky I was to be in a bubble of 2. Most of my social life pre 2020 didn't involve my partner so it was still difficult. I learned to love a social zoom they kept me going.

The pandemic has fundamentally changed how I see life.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

thismoment I remember how outings, even just brief ones, just broke the monotony of those terribly long days of the first year (and particularly 6 months) of maternity leave so I can see the impact of lockdown on that alone

I remember elsewhere (not here, possibly some Facebook group) some post from a man who was the home working partner in that scenario, whose partner was angrily interrupting his work zoom calls with students. Obviously not ideal but where as loads of people were declaring her to be “mental” and saying he should leave , I was so struck by what it would feel like to be her, to be stuck in those continually dragging days with no peer or wider family support, and with a partner who seemed to be retreating into work but who was also right there. And I suspect he wasn’t doing that much to help. As I may have suggested to him…

There are ripples of the pandemic still in children, as a population if not all individuals. Local primary school attainment is way behind what the government says it should be, as targets haven’t been adjusted to account for many kids losing almost a year of school. At our kids’ school the number of SEN kids in reception is double the rate in other year groups and apparently that’s largely communication based, and is being seen elsewhere too. Nationally, emotionally based school avoidance is way up compared to pre-pandemic levels.

It was a genuine international crisis and I don’t think it would have been possible for people to have got through without their emotional well-being taking a significant hit. But as said, the government could have done a better job at mitigating circumstances for certain groups as well as establishing a proper “group effort” mindset. It’s also doing a really crappy job of providing the support people need to work through the effects and come out the other side , be that emotional, educational etc.

 

[Voley]

I've spent a bit of time in hospitals/at the doctors recently and I've worn a mask but that's it in terms of precautions. I'm fully jabbed and will gladly have any boosters if and when they become available.

In terms of how it's changed my life permanently, I now wfh almost permanently and love it. It'd have to be a really good job to tempt me back into an office full time now. I avoid pretty much all petty workplace niggling and I'm much happier for it. Just let someone get on with their job and they'll be happier for it? Blimey, who knew? I'm lucky to have a job like this though, I know it doesn't work like that for lots of people and I'm even luckier to have taken something positive from this weird, scary time we've lived through.

 

[RubyToogood]

NB when I asked the GP for antidepressants they were like "Live on your own do you by any chance? Start with 10mg twice a day and build up. Next please."

That agonising jealousy that AnnO'Neemus describes so eloquently is very familiar to me. ( I was actually bubbling with my mother but that was more for her benefit than mine and had its own challenges.)

 

[Jennaonthebeach]

I love how working from home has become more acceptable now because it doesn't just affect disabled people any more. I remember fighting for being able to work from home for several years and it being refused, only to find out from another manager (not mine) that every single other person in my team worked from home at least 2 days a week.

I left my old job during the lockdown - unrelated reasons - spent the lockdown caring for my partner who eventually died. So it took me till 2021 to get back into work. It was a part time taxi job, so no chance of working from home there. I was always wary of busy public spaces, but more so now. It's really hard for me to say how much covid has affected my life as so much changed due to unrelated reasons, but nothing about my life is the same now as it was before. Psychologically I'm greatly affected. Also became quite spiritual during that period.

 

[krtek a houby]

I love how working from home has become more acceptable now because it doesn't just affect disabled people any more. I remember fighting for being able to work from home for several years and it being refused, only to find out from another manager (not mine) that every single other person in my team worked from home at least 2 days a week.

I left my old job during the lockdown - unrelated reasons - spent the lockdown caring for my partner who eventually died. So it took me till 2021 to get back into work. It was a part time taxi job, so no chance of working from home there. I was always wary of busy public spaces, but more so now. It's really hard for me to say how much covid has affected my life as so much changed due to unrelated reasons, but nothing about my life is the same now as it was before. Psychologically I'm greatly affected. Also became quite spiritual during that period.

Am curious what your take on "spiritual" is. Do you mean by religious/philosophical/meditative/new age/something different terms?

 

[moomoo]

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

I don’t get paid for the first three days of being off sick so whether I have a cold or Covid I’m going to work. Can’t afford not to.

 

[krtek a houby]

I don’t get paid for the first three days of being off sick so whether I have a cold or Covid I’m going to work. Can’t afford not to.

Would your job allow you to work from home?

 

[moomoo]

Would your job allow you to work from home?

I work in a supermarket so no.

 

[Jennaonthebeach]

Am curious what your take on "spiritual" is. Do you mean by religious/philosophical/meditative/new age/something different terms?

i'm not religious in a traditional western sense - but i am being deliberately vague here. Though think Buddhism/Hinduism and you won't be far off.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

I don’t get paid for the first three days of being off sick so whether I have a cold or Covid I’m going to work. Can’t afford not to.

This is exactly the kind of lesson I had hoped we would have learned from this shitshow – that sick pay needs to be overhauled to stop this situation.

We were all shown how supermarket workers are key workers. Shit gets quickly forgotten.