To what extent are you still taking C19 precautions and has your lifestyle been permanently changed by the pandemic (April 2023)?

[RubyToogood]

I am also single, and it hit me very hard too, ended-up with depression and needing a course of anti-depressants. but I am not bitter and resentful about it, it was something that had to done in order to save lives and prevent a total collapse of the NHS, and having seen the footage of people suffering and dying outside of hospitals in some other countries, because there was no room to admit them, I am pleased we avoided scenes like that here.

That was a big positive, as was the amazing speed in which the vaccines were developed and rolled out, just imagine the nightmare if that hadn't happened.

It was a fucking nightmare, and something I hope never happens again in my lifetime, but it's basically behind us now, so I try to focus on the positives, and push away the negatives.

I totally agree it had to happen but the impact on people living alone could have been actually considered and properly mitigated.

There could have been some effort to get people back together (and not around the fucking monarchy) if anybody gave a shit which this heteronormative society and corrupt government do not.

 

[cupid_stunt]

It kind of does though. The system was designed for people like you. People like me can just fuck off, who cares basically.

TBF it wasn't 'designed' for anyone, it's just people like you and me suffered a lot more than some.

But, remember some couples and families also suffered by being cooped up together, and many relationships broke down as a result.

 

[DotCommunist]

I'm still wearing a mask on crowded bus journies, even if the rona has fallen back some. Its nice to not get a cold.

 

[RubyToogood]

TBF it wasn't 'designed' for anyone, it's just people like you and me suffered a lot more than some.

But, remember some couples and families also suffered by being cooped up together, and many relationships broke down as a result.

It's an assumption isn't it. Not a conscious decision. Just an assumption that everyone is like themselves.

One of my bandmates is in the latter situation and this is one of the reasons why I'm finding it helpful. However I think this was quite a minority experience and most couples were like "Actually this is fine, we don't need anyone else. Maybe we'll ditch all our friends forever, they're just a luxury."

 

[pinkmonkey]

It’s changed my life permanently. My dads mobility declined massively during the pandemic so we moved up to Yorkshire to support. I don’t know if we forgot how to go out and socialise, I think maybe we did, but we’re homebodies even moreso than we ever were. I have done no foreign business travel since the pandemic and if theres an opportunity to travel I normally suggest the freelance footwear technologist who I recruited goes and not me (that does make more sense tbh). This is more to do with my energy levels, they’re worse since covid. I did a work trip to Manchester last week and it took me two days to recover. So I stay in and rest mostly. I have a very quiet life. I don’t know if my low energy is to do with having had covid or menopause, but I didn’t have the last vaccine booster because I couldn’t cope with another 6 weeks of brainfog and tiredness. It was a disaster before, I’m self employed I can’t do it. It wipes me out so much I can’t meet deadlines. Had covid once, the flu I got almost immediately after it was far worse. El Jugs still hasn’t had it. Weirdly we now both have horrible screeching tinnitus. That’s fun! I really miss doing stuff with friends, but my spare time is all taken up with my dad, so I don’t feel bored or anything.

 

[Elpenor]

One of my bandmates is in the latter situation and this is one of the reasons why I'm finding it helpful. However I think this was quite a minority experience and most couples were like "Actually this is fine, we don't need anyone else. Maybe we'll ditch all our friends forever, they're just a luxury."

I recognise this quite a bit from my own life.

 

[izz]

TBF it wasn't 'designed' for anyone, it's just people like you and me suffered a lot more than some.

You are totally correct Mr Stunt, the system wasn't designed at all, it was a swiftly created response to an unprecedented situation. Yes it had huge, and for some, lasting consequences but it was a best guess response from an unprepared government. As someone that's 93% introvert (I've been tested!) I loved lockdown on a daily basis, being pressured to go back to the office was one of the many reasons I retired. But I recognise that there are people who will have hated it as much as I loved it. There would never have been an ideal response because it's something we as a species have never been through in this age of easy, ubiquitous, international travel.

 

[Griff]

I no longer take any covid precautions at all, and haven't for a while.

This really.

Use crowded public transport all the time, eat out, go to pubs, gigs etc.

Only time it comes up is when I have to be tested for odd days working.

Biggest impact was the decision to more or less retire after a year working from home in 2020. It just made me think 'fuck this for a game of soldiers' back in January 2021.

 

[RubyToogood]

Incidentally I know I am not really alone in feeling like this: a guy in my local area started a social group for this exact reason and it got a massive response.

 

[pinkmonkey]

I am becoming estranged from friends because of distance and my new life. I only want to do a max of 3 days away from home because of dad. My best mate lives in Kent and had a traumatic home invasion, during the pandemic where two men, who had broken into the house next door, (it’s a terrace) which was being used to grow weed, climbed in her upstairs window, to exit via her house. So she had two strangers come down her stairs at about 1am and push her over, take her phone. So although she lives alone, shes ok, she has four dogs, all small though, so they‘re not really guard dogs, she can’t have guests, because of the trauma of what happened. I’ve been too skint to pay the train, never mind a hotel, so i’ve not seen her. We were more in touch over the pandemic. Would do at least two three hour plus calls a week. She has a boyfriend now so I think she’s busy which I expected. The pandemic and aftermath has complicated relationships more than I realised.

 

[Looby]

<removed by request: ed>

 

[Idaho]

The pandemic years seem a confused blur to me. I had been WFH for years anyhow, but my quiet house was intermittently full of the rest of the family.

I've always been fairly germ phobic and that intensified, and then has relaxed. I now work out the house with vulnerable people, so still routinely test. I still avoid crowds, coughing/sneezing people. Haven't knowingly had COVID yet.

Probably ended up being more social locally. Local acquaintances have become friends, and my job is more social.

 

[xenon]

I forgot to say. Our office closed in April 2020 and I’ve been working from home since. there are things I like about this and some things I definitely don’t. i’m part time and I think were full-time it would do my head in to be honest. I see some colleagues socially every couple of months or so. but I don’t like taking calls at home and just being indoors all day. i’m going to have to force myself to go out in the daytime now I’ve moved and the weather is getting better.

 

[xenon]

These threads kind of annoy me because they're all about masks and infection and nobody talks about the enormous upheaval and trauma. I wonder if everybody else lived through a different pandemic than me and end up suspecting that people in couples did actually.

The complete deprivation of human contact was incredibly traumatising for me and has left me very bitter and resentful. A large part of my social life has always been around being in bands and that stopped dead.

I'm in a band now that was started explicitly as a post pandemic recovery and rehab project and it's being incredibly helpful.

On the work front I was previously an outlier working from home for health reasons, whereas now it's the norm and I feel a lot more included, so that's good.

But really, has everyone forgotten the terror, the food insecurity, the distress at not being able to see people they love? Nobody suffered any ill effects at all?

You’re right. I was chatting with a mate I hadn’t seen for awhile about this the other day. and I could physically recall the anxiety. My dad wasn't in good health and worrying whether he could get food, whether his carers were turning up etc, given that he basically rarely answered the phone. not being able to get online groceries like I always had done before, for the first few weeks. Anxiety dreams. I fretted about systems breaking down too like if so many people were ill. Societal collapse stuff. Drank too much standard, though also eat a lot of vedge soup.

Smug couples saying they quite enjoyed being at home together, sitting in the garden, all the go for a walk , have you been for your walk, how far are you allowed to walk... Fuck off.

But I'm trying to forget about it.

 

[Rebelda]

Hmm. I don't know if it has changed my personal life much, but it has changed my working (in healthcare) life. Practically it has changed but I also think the me that wears my work hat carries a lot of trauma. Of course that applies to the me that isn't at work, but it's quite isolating from anyone that didn't work in healthcare at that time. We don't talk about it much, but we don't need to iykwim. Lockdown wasn't such a killer because I was so exhausted that staying in when I was (rarely) off was fine by me.

I think it had a big impact on my kid. She obviously carried on going to school on my work days, but school became 4-5 kids of mixed ages, doing some work but also baking, painting, gardening, and playing with a paddling pool in the playground. It was wonderful, so then transitioning on to full pelt secondary school was a disaster. We saw a new gentler way, and didn't keep it, and it shows.

 

[geminisnake]

I've gone back to wearing a shield when in shops but only because I finally have a date for my other hip replacement and I don't want to get ill before it. I'm sticking with the mostly avoid other people approach tbh.

 

[kalidarkone]

Other then recovering from covid currently, I fared alright during the pandemic and lockdowns because I was going to work and having my social needs met there.

I carry a mask and mask up at work although it's no longer mandatory.
I have been straight back to gigs and clubs as normal.

What is different is my social circle is smaller- much smaller. Lost touch with lots of people during the pandemic. A few friendships ended....which is for the best...the pandemic + menopause+ death of ma really really spelt out who is important in my life and my growing wariness for the ' one way ' street type of friendship. I've also had quite a few friends die....

I find it very easy to not leave the house for days at a time and this slightly concerns me. I definitely have some raised anxiety and feel more bitter and resentful then prior to the pandemic...but then ma died in that time and I discovered the bitter truth about a lot of things. Also menopause within that time has effected me greatly.

Basically the challenges that have presented themselves because of and during the pandemic have changed things for me quite fundamentally and I am still going through it and am kind of in stasis ..but there is stuff coming to a conclusion...that will help me move on from a very weird time.

 

[Aladdin]

<deleted by request: ed>

 

[MickiQ]

I'm not is the simple answer. The care home where my Mum was insisted on all visitors wearing a mask but since she died at the end of Jan I haven't worn one at all. Still have a stock just in case but the default behavior is not to wear one unless mandated and nowhere mandates it now. We returned from a visit to Switzerland last week (our first trip abroad in 4 years) and no-one on the plane was wearing one.
I dutifully followed all the rules when there were rules and got annoyed with people who didn't but now they've been lifted that's fine as far as I'm concerned.
As far as I am concerned things have returned to normal but normal has changed of course in that I now work almost entirely from home.
I'm fully vaccinated of course and had CoVID a year ago and felt god-awful for a week but that was all. I know some people who were seriously ill with it but no-one who has died of it.
Lockdown has left no scars (physical or mental) on me, I was able to keep working and was locked down in a comfortable house with my wife, two of my kids and my son's girlfriend so I wasn't cooped up with just myself for company which I rather doubt I would have coped with at all.

 

[girasol]

I no longer take any covid precautions at all, and haven't for a while.

Same here. I also have a lot of reusable and disposable masks and nowhere to wear them.

Very sad to lose a café where we used to gather once a week. Fortunately for me that was the biggest social loss, but our group is back together, we just meet somewhere else, not as nice or homely.

 

[marty21]

Back to normal tbh , went back to the office as soon as I could (was a bit empty for months!) . My employer (London Council) is now asking people to come in 3 days a week (in my department, Housing) which would mean reducing my 5 days a week in the office, I have no intention of WFH at all , apart from when it's convenient (mostly taking the cat to the vet) .

 

[gentlegreen]

I'm 62, retired in 2020 and am only exposed to humanity a couple of times a week in shops and always mask - have done since day one.
I refuse invitations to be inside my sister's house...

I was in a massive outdoor crowd today and was briefly anxious - but it wasn't that intimate and I figured most of them - being sociable types would likely have been infected at some point and unlikely to be a threat. I hold my breath when walking past the bus stop.
Within 12 months I am going to need to buy a car and may well wear a mask.

In a couple of years' time all being well I will need to rent a flat and later buy a house and deal with bureaucracy..
Hopefully by then I will be ready to be indoors with others ...

 

[Spymaster]

Within 12 months I am going to need to buy a car and may well wear a mask.

Wear a mask in the car?

 

[gentlegreen]

Wear a mask in the car?

Yes - random member of the public / used car salesman ...

EDIT:- when buying it FFS

 

[mrsfran]

I was hybrid working before Covid and now WFH full time as does my whole team.

For me, it's hard to say what is a result of Covid and what is a result of last year's cancers. I find being social much more exhausting than I used to. I've always been an extrovert an enjoyed being with people, so to find myself not wanting to go out or wanting to go home after a couple of hours with people is different and odd for me. But it's not necessarily a negative. Before, I found unstructured alone time difficult, and I have learned how to be ok with doing very little. I don't think I would have learned that if it hadn't been forced on me.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Having been very anxious about Covid I'm not really any more. It's hard to know if my almost-total withdrawal from anything social is down to separate MH stuff, although of course everything is intertwined.

I've just stopped giving a fuck whether I get it, with the caveat I carry sanitizer everywhere and a mask in case. I moved office at work for three days when a colleague came in poorly with it. Was in an auditorium Friday night in an audience of 1200 plus loads of dancers and I didn't even take a mask.

I know I still expect people to follow the old guidelines to test and isolate if necessary out of a sort of moral obligation not to make others ill but while a few I guess will - I will if I get it again - most people don't now.

No, there's no legal obligation on people to test, etc., and very many people feel no moral obligation either, lots of people don't give a shit whether they infect someone else with a potentially deadly disease.

I phoned the minicab company after I caught Covid-19, asked if they get their drivers to test if they're coughing, was told they don't have to test.

I asked why he apparently hadn't test and was still working when he had a bad cough, presumably Covid-19, and when in the car and I asked the driver if he'd tested himself for Covid-19 the driver told me that 'we don't legally have to wear masks any more, but we do' I had to point out that wearing it on his chin(!) was pointless and could he please wear it properly.

I called both their operator and the driver cunts and will never use that minicab company again. I mean, how fucking irresponsible? Selfish fucking cunts.

When I caught it, I didn't go out, I stayed at home and self-isolated, stayed in my bedroom, because I had a friend and a lodger staying at mine, only left my room - while wearing a mask - to use the bathroom (and I didn't spend any long periods of time in there, didn't shower, didn't have a bath), and to go the kitchen to get stuff to eat and drink, which I took back to my room.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

It changed my life a lot. I left my job and went to a home based role in 21, although still doing meetings and visits.

I’ve had Covid twice and although I don’t think I still have long Covid, I didn’t feel well for a long time and have had quite severe vertigo at times which might be connected, who knows.

Feels mostly back to normal and have been for a while. Although I went back to London for the first time in March 22 and caught Covid from a colleague.
I’m going to gigs, planning trips, hugging my friends etc

I don’t really use public transport but comfortable when I do.
I have masks in the car and will wear one if asked like in my GP surgery.

I’m far less tolerant of people exposing me to their bugs now. I’ve always found it really selfish but now, if a friend or a client is ill, I rearrange and don’t feel the same pressure to keep going if I’m ill.
I can do a teams meeting and WFH.

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

When I was a manager I regularly sent people home that came in with bugs, because I didn't want the twats spreading it around the office.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

I still do LFT tests when I have cold symptoms. I have to for work anyway but I will also test when I don’t technically have to - for example I have a cough which is almost certainly not COVID but I’m going to test before taking my daughter to an outpatient hospital appointment tomorrow. I open windows on buses and have a lower threshold of coming into work sick (partly due to home working options) but that’s about it now.

From a personal risk perspective it honestly doesn’t feel worth doing much more when I live with two primary transmission vectors school aged children, and possibly a colleague who came in to work with COVID

I will sometimes wear a mask to protect others when I’m unwell with other viruses, like when I got breakthrough chicken pox and still had the school run to do.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

I've never understood the office martyrs who go in to work with cold/flu and give it to everyone else. No, you're not being a hero, you're being a cunt.

Tbf when you have young children and can pick up a new respiratory infection every 3 weeks, you can’t stay away from work every time without triggering HR proceedings Which is why wfh can be such a good thing to fall back on. I would have missed about 2 weeks off work on parental leave alone if it wasn’t for that.

My colleague who I think may have given me the last round of COVID should have stayed at home though, home working or not

I know some places don’t offer sick pay for the first 2-3 days, which seems an excellent way of increasing infection transmission across their staff group.