i have never understood how any socialist aspires to a career in a left political party...i thought the point of being in a socialist party was to be able to fight injustice, fight for rights, better pay etc and to fight for a better world...not to get a poxy front row seat at a meeting
used to do my head in watching people sucking up and chatting shit to get "known" ... people used to be desperate to be asked to do a marxism meeting cos it was seen as some sort or an achievement...i thought it just meant you could talk clearly to an audience.
also struck me as weird how some people were desperate to go to annual conference , like it was going to change the world and it was vital that they were there so they could spread the politics back in a branch...
in 23 as a member I went to 2 conferences and never did a meeting at marxism ...was often told that i needed to push myself ... when i quit from being an organiser in the swp after 7 months I was told that I'd regret it as I'd never be asked again ... worst job i ever did...spent most of my time (long hours) with just swp members, i don't mean that as harshly as it sounds but i hated the constant internal discussions; the "this is the best time to be a socialist" speech given to organisers who were then expected to regurgitate it out to members and i hated talking with fulltimers who knew all about what needed to happen in work when they had never had a real job so had no idea how easy or hard it was to organise in work cos they drew all their experiences only from those who said what they wanted to hear
bizarrely quite a few members couldn't get their heads around how I just went back to being a council worker
I did lots of work (by no means on my own) in my union to counter racism against asylum seekers and to counter the BNP ... I was a publicity officer and wrote several bulletins to members which helped our branch do some great anti racist work. I worked with the socialist party branch sec, green party members, labour party members and non aligned union members. Cos I did this in the name of the union branch and not as a SWP/Socialist Alliance/ Respect etc. i was told i was being a syndicalist. Same thing happened with an anti war meeting which we refused to insist had an swp member speaking...we were slated by the leadership (a certain hannah dee was involved in that)... we pulled a meeting together of over 150 people (bigger than any other local anti war meeting at the time) and they belittled it...then it and all the other protests against the war we organised as a union got mentioned in the Stop the war book as an example of the good things the unions did.
I always tried to work with others even if they couldn't stand the swp and never understood why people said i was unusual for an swp member but to be honest i do wonder how I stayed a member for so long (other than i rarely went anywhere near other members!)
I have written a couple of rambling contributions on this thread...think its the equivalent of going to a priest and confessing.