Satire is dead: Peter Gammons is UKIP’s London Mayoral candidate

[moochedit]

The leader of UKIP is called Dick Braine. No lie.

Richard Braine (politician) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

I think he quit but it's hard to keep up as they change leader so often.

 

[scifisam]

I assume the Monster Raving Loony Party is going to completely give up this time round.

 

[AverageJoe]

I think he quit but it's hard to keep up as they change leader so often.

Ooh you're right. It's currently Neil Hamilton

 

[Lorca]

Not as cool as this guy tho!

 

[hipipol]

"Meeting breaks out at UKIP brawl........." whatever else, given the often physical nature of their internal discussions of vital policy, he must at least have severe brain injuries? Ah, how could you tell? you may well ask - most do seem to have either haunted, sunken eyed expressions of dread or relentlessly smiley benzo/oxy/painkiller gobbling shyster like this one. Will sink with barely a ripple

 

[trabuquera]

He's looking forward to working with all steak holders.

No need to get all salty with him eh?

London-based sub-editors must be filing the headlines in now...
Trade talks: GAMMONS GRILLED OVER DANISH BACON
Inevitable defeat at polls: GAMMONS HAS HAD HIS CHIPS

etc etc etc

 

[Argonia]

I'm a bit confused by the bit about curing a guy with lung cancer. Did he only cure one guy? If so why? Why wouldn't he cure more than one person? Or was it some one-off fluke or something?

 

[A380]

He's looking forward to working with all steak holders.

Some would get the chop early on.

 

[Espresso]

He's bound to end up with egg on his face.

 

[tony.c]

I assume the Monster Raving Loony Party is going to completely give up this time round.

Count Binface might be standing in for them.

 

[Argonia]

Jesus that's a lot of candidates. I don't live in London but mad Piers Corbyn would get my vote.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Jesus that's a lot of candidates. I don't live in London but mad Piers Corbyn would get my vote.

Even for a joke, why would you vote for that cunt?

 

[not-bono-ever]

Kurten is an awful chancer

 

[Argonia]

Even for a joke, why would you vote for that cunt?

Fair point!

 

[skyscraper101]

Drillminister

 

[two sheds]

Fair point!

phew that was a close call

 

[brogdale]

Looking at that list there don't appear to be any candidates from the left?

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Winston McKenzie's had quite the journey.

He was a member of the Labour Party from the 1980s until 2001. The following year he joined the Liberal Democrats, staying with them until 2003; he then remained politically independent for some time before becoming a member of Veritas, going back to standing as an independent, then back to Veritas to unsuccessfully contest their leadership election. In 2006 he joined the Conservative Party, standing to be their London mayoral candidate but failing to be shortlisted, before becoming a political independent again.

In 2009 he tried to establish his own Unity Party, but this failed owing to a lack of financial backing; McKenzie then joined the UK Independence Party. He stood for its leadership in 2010 and was the UKIP candidate in the 2012 Croydon North by-election, where he came third with 5.7% of the vote - his best ever election performance. He served as UKIP's Commonwealth spokesman from 2014 until 9 March 2015, when he was sacked over a series of gaffes.

After an acrimonious departure from UKIP, McKenzie joined the English Democrats in December 2015 and attempted to run for Mayor of London in the 2016 election. Also in 2016, he competed on the reality television show Celebrity Big Brother, and was the first contestant to be eliminated, after receiving negative attention for his views on homosexuality. In 2017, he left the English Democrats and founded his own party, Unity in Action...

...In 2017 McKenzie registered the Unity in Action Party with the Electoral Commission, declaring himself as Leader, and his partner, Marianne Bowness, as Treasurer. He and Bowness stood for Croydon Council in the 2018 Croydon London Borough Council election, but they were not elected, respectively coming in last and second-last of 14 candidates in his council ward, each polling 59 votes (0.46%) and 63 votes (0.49%).

 

[Argonia]

Burning Pink is a bit weird

 

[steeplejack]

lots of diddy candidates for mayor this time round, Jeez. Everyone from the "Liberal Democrats" southwards backmarking no-hopers.

Really it's all a bit Chesterfield 1984:

 

[The39thStep]

View attachment 254821

Count Binface might be standing in for them.

Martin Miller ?

 

[tony.c]

Charlie Mullins is that right wing boss of Pimlico Plumbers.

 

[Orang Utan]

Charlie Mullins is that right wing boss of Pimlico Plumbers.

The Wellend

 

[Brainaddict]

Not being down with the kids I didn't know Drillminister. Seems like an okay guy:

 

[tony.c]

Burning Pink is a bit weird

From wikipedia:

 

[WouldBe]

Charlie Mullins is that right wing boss of Pimlico Plumbers.

I wondered that.

 

[nogojones]

Jesus that's a lot of candidates. I don't live in London but mad Piers Corbyn would get my vote.

Brian Rose is standing for him

 

[Argonia]

lots of diddy candidates for mayor this time round, Jeez. Everyone from the "Liberal Democrats" southwards backmarking no-hopers.

Really it's all a bit Chesterfield 1984:

Bloke in the picture behind Moira looks like Justin Trudeau.

I like the Reclassify the Sun as a comic party, might have been tempted by them.

 

[Argonia]

Reclassify the Sun came second bottom with 12 votes. I bet the Peace candidate was gutted to only get 7. Which leads to the question - what is the lowest vote tally for any candidate in history? Presumably there must be at least some with zero votes.

1984 Chesterfield by-election - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Serge Forward]

View attachment 254821

Count Binface might be standing in for them.

What's the Heritage Party about? Is it for people in castles and stately homes?