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Nicola Bulley Missing

There's no perfect solution though. Again I think you're trying to make things fit into an objective rationality that isn't really there. We build frameworks around our actions that justify them to ourselves, but may seem batshit to anyone with different experiences.
well certainly not suggesting it is a perfect solution but just thinking of all the times i have seen anguished relatives of people disappeared,suspected dead,saying how they could not rest,longed for closure etc.
 
Given that they came from that path, why didn't the dog's amazing sense of smell lead it down there anyway?
"What's that Lassie?"
"Woof Woof wufferrrrrr"
" Ken's fallen down a mine shaff.....,"
"Owwwwwwwwlrrrr ruff woof"
" and he's broken his flask?" :eek:
 
The police's biggest fuck up was to withhold the high risk welfare concerns bit, and push the public appeals without that. This made it seem like a true mystery and of course people speculated about abduction. This caused it to go viral and they're now dealing with the consequences of unleashing that demon.

I don't know why they couldn't have been more transparent. It seems routine around here for police to talk about particular vulnerabilities or concerns for safety when appealing for information on missing persons.
 
The police's biggest fuck up was to withhold the high risk welfare concerns bit, and push the public appeals without that. This made it seem like a true mystery and of course people speculated about abduction. This caused it to go viral and they're now dealing with the consequences of unleashing that demon.

I don't know why they couldn't have been more transparent. It seems routine around here for police to talk about particular vulnerabilities or concerns for safety when appealing for information on missing persons.
yes have to wonder also whether the partner couldnt have avoided some of the flak on social media
 
dont want to take anything away from your experience Joe but is it really that considerate to those left behind to leave them wondering whether you are alive or dead? Seem to remember from the dramatisation of the canoe man incident that you felt that the wife,though pleased at the prospect of insurance money,sort of hated him for putting her through the anguish of not knowing what had become of him.
Wow, you really really don’t get it. Which is fine, but you’re by far best off just accepting that and starting from the point of knowing that you just don’t get it.
 
The police's biggest fuck up was to withhold the high risk welfare concerns bit, and push the public appeals without that. This made it seem like a true mystery and of course people speculated about abduction. This caused it to go viral and they're now dealing with the consequences of unleashing that demon.

I don't know why they couldn't have been more transparent. It seems routine around here for police to talk about particular vulnerabilities or concerns for safety when appealing for information on missing persons.

Everyone including her friends and family and partner were adamant she had not gone in the river..they never gave any impression in interviews that Nicola had any problemsor issues or vulnerabilities.

It's extremely sad if she was so affected by menopause that she tried to self medicate with alcohol to struggle through. .... it doesn't bear thinking about. Poor woman.
Just awful that she was struggling.
 
well certainly not suggesting it is a perfect solution but just thinking of all the times i have seen anguished relatives of people disappeared,suspected dead,saying how they could not rest,longed for closure etc.

I agree, I personally would prefer to be found. But within Joe's framework that makes more sense. Neither is... 'rational'. Never thought I would be discussing the plusses and minuses of different aspect of suicidal ideation here, but there we go. We should probably stop, it's pretty uncomfortable.
 
Ofc I'm not actually going to off myself.

But I do think about it as an option sometimes.

It is what it is
It's always an option. But unlike other options eg throwing it all up and moving to pitcairn it's not something you can undo. Rational or not it's something which affects so many other people for years with whys and what ifs and what more could I have done
 
This thread is mostly shit and horrible (and I don't exclude my posts on here either) and much of it is only a hairsbreadth away from the bonkers social media shit that's rightly criticised.

Fuck knows what's really been going on for her but menopause can be life shatteringly difficult for some, and it's often poorly understood and dealt with by people and the medical services. Add alcohol abuse to that and she's clearly, as they have now said, a vulnerable person.

Hope she turns up and can recover her life... but if not RIP, life is fucking hard for some poor people.
 
Everyone including her friends and family and partner were adamant she had not gone in the river..they never gave any impression in interviews that Nicola had any problemsor issues or vulnerabilities.

It's extremely sad if she was so affected by menopause that she tried to self medicate with alcohol to struggle through. .... it doesn't bear thinking about. Poor woman.
Just awful that she was struggling.

Her friends (not her partner iirc) are adamant that she would not walk out on her family, especially her children. Of course we all think we know somebody until they do something that surprises us. I'm not speculating she has for the record.
 
dont want to take anything away from your experience Joe but is it really that considerate to those left behind to leave them wondering whether you are alive or dead? Seem to remember from the dramatisation of the canoe man incident that you felt that the wife,though pleased at the prospect of insurance money,sort of hated him for putting her through the anguish of not knowing what had become of him.
Don't do this.

ETA and consider the post I've quoted as the example you requested 2 posts ago.
 
It was insensitive, clumsy, and the perfect demonstration of your cluelessness around suicide. It doesn't need reporting...but YOU were the one demanding an example.
how insensitive? i was actually thinking of a documentary i had seen featuring an elderly gentleman who had lost a relative in a tower block collapse.Through his tears he said "we were the lucky ones you know because at least we had a body".
 
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