I wish I could dig out the actual article but I remember reading a newspaper story about a bloke who'd been caught butt naked in some bushes near some houses wanking himself off. At trial, rather than fessing up and preserving what remained of his dignity he confected this magnificent story that involved him going for a drive fully clothed, innocently stopping at the beach for a spontaneous skinny dip, having his clothes and car keys stolen by persons unknown, walking a mile to find help and then being attacked in the nether regions by some stinging insect, which he was busily (and innocently) trying to swat away when observed.The poor man is obviously a victim here.
He fell over in the street and unfortunately ripped all his clothes off on one of those nasty spiked hedges, before getting his appendage wedged in the slots of the grid, when they found him he was merely trying to jiggle himself free, it just took more force than he anticipated....and now he's branded a sexual deviant, poor man, what's the world coming to
Fishing for his keys with a magnetic ampallang, surely?The poor man is obviously a victim here.
He fell over in the street and unfortunately ripped all his clothes off on one of those nasty spiked hedges, before getting his appendage wedged in the slots of the grid. When they found him he was merely trying to jiggle himself free, it just took more force than he anticipated....and now he's branded a sexual deviant, poor man, what's the world coming to
Meanwhile, 8 posts previously...
Man calls police to report badger at car boot sale
'The job came in from a member of the public who was concerned that a badger had been rendered into captivity, was being dragged around Rufforth car boot sale and didn't look happy.'
The Northern Echo had a better headline
You mean like a sort of stone-based fluffer?I wonder if he will need help with that
That website has some real gems
Clearly overdid the water at lunch
That is just...special.
Sponsored by Cravendale?
