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Local Newspaper Headlines!

I'm not the thread police but...

The owner now has until April 10 to reclaim the hat, after which it will be destroyed -
should have been a clue.

It was written by Tom Hay, news editor of the Harrogate Advertiser, on the 1st of April [2015].

 
The writing is certainly very tight.
No opinions given, no irrelevant adjectives, just one quote and the (made up) facts.
 
That's brilliant! I love the details, like "Linda, a retired town clerk, was reading a book in her conservatory when she heard the commotion" and "With the help of a man who they'd hired to clean their oven that day, Peter, a retired site manager, shooed the otter off their bed and down on to the carpet." :D
 
And you just KNOW that, if Tesco heeded his request, there'd be memes going around in no time about how, "in the old days, we didn't need stupid safety warnings on toilet wipes".

It's people like Leon from Cwmbran who are responsible for bags of peanuts having labels that say "WARNING: may contain peanuts" :D
 
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