Local Newspaper Headlines!

[cupid_stunt]

Is cupid_stunt working under a different name?
BBC News - Hercule Van Wolfwinkle: Worthing pet artist raises £100k for homeless

Hercule Van Wolfwinkle: Worthing pet artist raises £100k for homeless

The artist, whose works are wildly popular, says he would love to keep going for charity.

www.bbc.co.uk

I've regularly posted updates about Hercule Van Wolfwinkle, a true local hero, on the bandwidthz thread.

Most of the money he raises goes to 'Turning Tides', our amazing local homeless charity, but some now goes to 'Street Vets', who provide free services for the pets of the homeless, as I say, a true local hero.

 

[hash tag]

jesus h. christ i want one of those.

I think you need to get in the line, behind Mrs tag

 

[Orang Utan]

Not a headline, but spotted this in the local rag’s monthly round up of people on cctv who the police want to talk to:

Wonder what she was stealing?

 

[not henry]

Not a headline, but spotted this in the local rag’s monthly round up of people on cctv who the police want to talk to:
View attachment 339232
Wonder what she was stealing?

Breast milky bars

 

[not-bono-ever]

 

[dessiato]

View attachment 339386

How could he be so blind to the implications?

 

[Indeliblelink]

How to keep your beaver wet when things are getting a bit too hot

Despite the heatwave ravaging the country, a pair of beavers in Sussex are keeping cool.

metro.co.uk

 

[danny la rouge]

How could he be so blind to the implications?

He wasn’t.

 

[andysays]

Only really local if you live in Vacaville, California

Truck spills 150,000 tomatoes causing California crash​

Disappointingly, there's no mention of whether the driver causing the crash was caught red handed, but there's a good quote from local law enforcement.

An initial collision caused the tomato truck to swerve into the central divide of the motorway, spilling fist-sized tomatoes across a 200ft section of the motorway, according to reports. This left a sea of red sauce about "two feet deep", said Highway Patrol Officer Jason Tyhurst. Cars drove over the squelching tomatoes, creating a dangerous slurry of tomato juice, oil and dirt. "These tomato skins, man, once they hit the asphalt it's like walking on ice," said Mr Tyhurst, speaking to the New York Times.

 

[hash tag]

Did he end up in a bit of a stew?

 

[bluescreen]

Did he end up in a bit of a stew?

In a bit of a pickle.

 

[Artaxerxes]

Did they ever ketchup to the driver? Was he on the sauce?

 

[hash tag]

Sounds like he might have bottled it.

 

[hitmouse]

Had a look to see how the MEN was covering the Enough is Enough rally, couldn't find anything but did find this gem:

Lad forced to eat upstairs after finding "biggest spider in UK" lurking in house

"I won't be eating my food in there again until it's found and taken away from the living room, I'll tell you that."

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

This one was also pretty good:

Man splashes cash on huge billboard ad for psychic with no contact info

"Initially we thought it was a joke but the individual explained they were deeply serious"

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

 

[not-bono-ever]

How could he be so blind to the implications?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Twat ^

(not you, not-bono-ever.)

 

[hitmouse]

I mean, who among us can honestly say that we've never found a nazi flag inexplicably posted through our letterbox and then decided to fly it in the garden? Let he who is without sin throw the first stone and all that. Slightly "a bigger boy did it and then ran away" vibes there as well.

 

[dessiato]

Good advice.

'Sunning your hole' is the one TikTok trend that you really shouldn't try

There's a new questionable TikTok trend doing the rounds online – all in the name of increasing vibrations. The practice, known as "sunning your holes" or "perineum sunning", is precisely that. People claim there are benefits to pointing your rear at the sun daily. One viral clip suggested...

www.indy100.com

 

[stuff_it]

The MEN has latched on to the arachnophobia craze big time.

Enormous 'hand-sized' spider 'final straw' in closure of bridal shop for good

The mum-of-four said it was so big it could have worn one the dresses itself.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

Lad forced to eat upstairs after finding "biggest spider in UK" lurking in house

"I won't be eating my food in there again until it's found and taken away from the living room, I'll tell you that."

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

Aren't these people embarassed?

 

[cupid_stunt]

The MEN has latched on to the arachnophobia craze big time.

Enormous 'hand-sized' spider 'final straw' in closure of bridal shop for good

The mum-of-four said it was so big it could have worn one the dresses itself.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

Lad forced to eat upstairs after finding "biggest spider in UK" lurking in house

"I won't be eating my food in there again until it's found and taken away from the living room, I'll tell you that."

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

Aren't these people embarassed?

I think the staff have just given up, because the owners, Reach PLC- owners of national titles like the Mirror, Express & Star plus hundreds of local/regional rags, don't seem to care, hence reporters are striking, what's interesting is a lot of news agencies are refusing to supply copy to the company on strike days, because they too are treated like shit.

Strike begins as 1,150 Reach journalists walk out over pay

Press agency bosses boycott Reach in solidarity with striking staffers

 

[dessiato]

Teenage boy faced hospital operation after sticking USB cable into his penis

It is among a variety of weird items which have been inserted into penises including needles, pins and.... pistachio shells

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[chandlerp]

I have USB cables available but I don't use them as a rule.

 

[1927]

Some great pointing finger photos here!

Woman feels ‘penalised’ as council plan to install bollards outside her home

 

[hash tag]

Just checking to see it wasn't cupid_stunt posting pictures of people pointing.
Btw pavements are for Peds!

 

[seeformiles]

 

[seeformiles]

 

[Indeliblelink]

Woman, 90, shot while playing bowls insisted on finishing game before going to A&E

A WOMAN in her 90s who was shot in the leg with an air rifle while playing bowls in Lancing insisted on finishing her game before being taken to…

www.theargus.co.uk

 

[petee]

ooooohhh yeahhh

Colorado elk are gathering for the greatest sex show on turf. And we like to watch.

Sexy time for Cervus canadensis in Rocky Mountain National Park by illustrator Peter Moore.

coloradosun.com

 

[moochedit]

Coventry Live: Mum rushed to hospital after her dog pooed in her mouth as she slept.

Mum rushed to hospital after her dog pooed in her mouth as she slept

Amanda Gommo had a day to forget

www.coventrytelegraph.net

 

[Cerv]

That’s going on the list with “I was hoovering naked when I tripped over” of excuses