Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Badgers]

 

[flypanam]

You're shitting me...
Jail time for Sheboygan man who repeatedly clogged women's toilets

 

[neonwilderness]

'It was a nightmare' - man's holiday hell as Brighton hotel room soars above 30 degrees

A spokesman for The Brighton Hotel said: “I don’t like implying that (the thermometer) was manipulated, but I don’t know how that room was at 30 degrees, it defies the laws of physics.

 

[andysays]

A spokesman for the Brighton Hotel checking the temperature of the rooms recently...

 

[Badgers]

 

[neonwilderness]

Pensioner livid after Asda runs out of his favourite 34p Smart Price sardines

Miffed Harty Ervine claims a tin of the 34p 'Smart Price' fish in a tomato sauce "makes a nice sandwich".

But he says he has been left "suffering" after stock issues kept them off his local Asda's shelves for as long as six weeks.

"It would have been quicker for the little fish to have just swam here from the Mediterranean," raged Harty.

 

[Badgers]

Pensioner livid after Asda runs out of his favourite 34p Smart Price sardines

Is that your dad?

 

[neonwilderness]

Is that your dad?

No, but it is my local Asda

I rarely shop there because it's shit.

 

[Serge Forward]

Agreed. It's only worth going there for the sardines.

 

[DotCommunist]

34p for a tin of sardines in tom sauce is an absolute bargain, and also why the oceans wildlife is on the point of collapse.

 

[petee]

stupid cock.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/04/maurice-the-cockerel-noise-polluter-case-heard-in-court

“The chicken is a harmless animal so stupid that nobody has succeeded in training it... "

i side with the retirees. roosters' calls are ear-spitting and of no use in this day and age.

 

[gentlegreen]

Mum's anger after spending £100 on 'rigged' claw machine

 

[cupid_stunt]

Mum's anger after spending £100 on 'rigged' claw machine

£100!

She's taken being stupid to a whole new level.

 

[Orang Utan]

£100!

She's taken being stupid to a whole new level.

She could have got Amazon to send one to her on same day delivery for a lot less

 

[gentlegreen]

stupid cock.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/04/maurice-the-cockerel-noise-polluter-case-heard-in-court

“The chicken is a harmless animal so stupid that nobody has succeeded in training it... "

i side with the retirees. roosters' calls are ear-spitting and of no use in this day and age.

 

[petee]

USA! USA!

 

[a_chap]

"crown jewels", eh?

 

[hash tag]

Not local but made me chuckle, if only for flying over a yodelling festival Swiss jet display team flies over wrong festival

 

[neonwilderness]

Killjoy Scottish council spend £6,000 on fence to stop children playing football

 

[neonwilderness]

Katlady Services boss denies renaming Dundee firm to taunt pet lover who sued him for £20,000 - The Courier

 

[cupid_stunt]

Take a peak at the most expensive homes on sale in Worthing

*cough*

Slight problem, the top 6 are not actually in Worthing.

 

[Badgers]

Couple wake to find man lying on their doorstep looking "absolutely bladdered"

 

[Wilf]

Sweary pensioner demands heroes go back in river for her shopping

Burger-eating unwitting pigeon killer too.

Pure evil.

Apparently, Boris Johnson has her lined up to be his Brexit Secretary.

 

[Indeliblelink]

'You can't call it Les Dennis' says Les Dennis to man hoping to open Les Dennis Lounge

 

[neonwilderness]

Family 'airloom': Gran's Get Well Soon helium balloon survives 20 years

 

[Yossarian]

£100!

She's taken being stupid to a whole new level.

Weird part is that she spent £40 to win one teddy - then decided to try for another.

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

 

[dessiato]

I've done that. It can be quite painful.

 

[petee]

https://barkpost.com/discover/sheepdog-car