Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Calamity1971]

Boy praised for 'detective work' after drawing picture of stranger trying to get through school gates
wearing pants at least.

 

[Indeliblelink]

'My camel loves drum and bass' - woman who took camel to festival hits back at activists

A WOMAN who received abuse for taking her camel to a rave said the animal enjoys dance music.

 

[Poi E]

She's clearly got the hump.

 

[extra dry]

He's only got 2 cupboards, puts them miles apart.

And, linked from that page - 'This definitely bit back' - Aldi customer finds rusty staple in gourmet chicken



View attachment 171995

Great photo!

 

[Steel Icarus]

Dunno about anyone else but if I knew the press were coming round I'd empty my washer.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Not the brightest dealer in town!

Sompting man who stamped his own name into drugs is jailed - after failing to smuggle holdall of cannabis into prison

His name is Stephen Best and he stamped 'Besti' on a number of cannabis resin bars & then turned-up for his arranged arrest with a bag containing a large quantity of cannabis to take to prison with him!

"The quantity of drugs was considerable and while it is not unusual for drug dealers to set up brands of drugs, I've never seen someone stamp their own name into them.

“It's quite rare as well for someone to arrange the date, time and location of their arrest and still turn up in possession of illegal drugs.

Best, 30, handed himself into police on November 27 and brought with him a bag which he claimed he had packed in case he was remanded in custody. Officers searched the bag and found a large quantity of herbal cannabis inside. He was remanded in custody, police said.

 

[cupid_stunt]

A27 blocked by suitcases between Worthing and Arundel

Headline says 'A27 blocked', opening line says 'partially blocked', middle line 'reported to be stopping traffic', and finishing line says 'traffic coping well', so which is it?

The A27 has been partially blocked by suitcases between Worthing and Arundel.

Suitcases in the carriageway are reported to be stopping traffic eastbound from Dover Lane to the A280 Angmering/Clapham Junction.

Traffic is reported to be coping well, but being affected from Arundel to Clapham and Worthing.

And, that's the whole pointless 'article', fucking useless rag.

 

[neonwilderness]

You herd it here first London commuters hit by delays due to goats on tracks

Goats ‘not sorry’ for disrupting rail services

 

[Smoking kills]

Kinell! That log in the foreground is basically a step ladder. Also, if my goats had escaped and caused a railway incident I wouldn't take the piss out the people I'd endangered and delayed.
ETA the farm staff are facing redundancy. Could have been goat secondary picketing inspired by XR.

 

[stuff_it]

Not a local paper, but a headline worthy of one: How eviction leads to homelessness: ‘My youngest child doesn’t know what a home is’

"The biggest cause of homelessness is eviction..."

 

[Libertad]

Not a local paper, but a headline worthy of one: How eviction leads to homelessness: ‘My youngest child doesn’t know what a home is’

"The biggest cause of homelessness is eviction..."

8th January 2018, Guardian thread thataway >>>

 

[Yossarian]

Lying dentist struck off after dog bites inspector's leg

 

[cupid_stunt]

Lying dentist struck off after dog bites inspector's leg

FFS, if it's not bad enough that she defrauded the NHS & put patient's health at risk, keeping dogs on the premises.

A misconduct report from the General Dental Council said three dogs had been found under the reception desk.

“Two of the dogs were aggressive and staff told us that they do not like people. One of the dogs bit the inspector’s leg,” the report said.

Ms Hopkins “failed to protect staff and patients from the risks of the spread of infection and injury,” the report said.

 

[iona]

Tbh having dogs in reception, and reusing perio probes and disposables, are the only things in that article or the GDC hearing report I've not seen multiple other dentists doing. (Not saying she shouldn'tve been struck off, to be clear, just this wasn't as extreme or unusual as people seem to think)

And the endomethasone thing is baffling me coz I've seen it used up till I stopped dental nursing in 2016, it's still available to buy now and when I google "endomethasone withdrawn from use UK 2010" the only results I get are two articles and the GDC hearing from this case and a few research papers

 

[cupid_stunt]

Sussex couple living in boiler suits as thousands of ‘toxic’ caterpillars invade home

Loving the classic local rag photo for this story.





Wait for it...





drum roll...







That has made my day!

 

[dessiato]

Sussex couple living in boiler suits as thousands of ‘toxic’ caterpillars invade home

Loving the classic local rag photo for this story.





Wait for it...





drum roll...





View attachment 174719

That has made my day!

I love that they would consider selling their home if the problem continues. After this highlighting of a problem who do they think would buy it?

 

[cybershot]

Not quite local but worth it.

Woman blames Sainsbury's after she microwaved cottage pie for 45 minutes | Metro News

 

[neonwilderness]

Police probe after woman 'had a wee in Metro bin after singing Sweet Caroline'

 

[extra dry]

I love that they would consider selling their home if the problem continues. After this highlighting of a problem who do they think would buy it?

A butterfly collector, medicinal wings surly

 

[andysays]

Is Butler Creek, Montana local to Yuwipi Woman?

Bear falls asleep in wardrobe after entering home

A black bear has been found sleeping in a wardrobe after apparently locking itself into a room in a home in the US state of Montana. Alerted to the intrusion in Butler Creek, police said the large mammal just yawned when officers knocked on the window to wake it up.

It eventually had to be tranquilised and removed. Police warned people to lock up their homes as the bear reportedly tried at least two other doors in the area. They said the bear had somehow entered a laundry room in the house and managed to bolt the door from the inside. It began ripping the room apart before apparently feeling tired and climbing into the wardrobe for a nap.

No mention of it eating a bowl of porridge...

 

[extra dry]

That goldlylocks

 

[andysays]

 

[extra dry]

Not quite local but worth it.

Woman blames Sainsbury's after she microwaved cottage pie for 45 minutes | Metro News

Hotter than the Sun.

I take it microwaves are new to her household

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Is Butler Creek, Montana local to Yuwipi Woman?

Bear falls asleep in wardrobe after entering home


No mention of it eating a bowl of porridge...

Its a little out of range. We don't really have bears in Nebraska.

 

[andysays]

Its a little out of range. We don't really have bears in Nebraska.

Check your wardrobe anyway, just to be on the safe side...

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

 

[Steel Icarus]

So it's Armed Forces Day in Cleethorpes this whole weekend (lest we forget for five fucking minutes) and though this isn't strictly headline stuff I thought it belonged here, just for the terrible ideology and even worse copy in the Grimsby Telegraph

 

[cupid_stunt]

Worthing Armed Forces Weekend – crowds flock to celebrations

Crowds?



Not exactly Glastonbury, is it?

 

[Bus Honeygun]

Sweary pensioner demands heroes go back in river for her shopping

Burger-eating unwitting pigeon killer too.

Pure evil.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Sweary pensioner demands heroes go back in river for her shopping

Burger-eating unwitting pigeon killer too.

Pure evil.

"We managed to get her to the edge and sit her down. She was not very appreciative to be honest and was swearing quite a bit, saying 'leave me alone'.

I would have pushed her back in, TBH.