Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Yossarian]

Man found in Smokies died of meth overdose before being eaten by bear

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Man found in Smokies died of meth overdose before being eaten by bear

Seems a bit harsh on the bear.

 

[Mumbles274]

It's attracted 115 comments, so far!

I liked this one

I don't know him but I'm a bit more likely to go shopping in Waitrose if there's no chance of bumping into that prissy bedwetter

 

[Mrs Miggins]

It's an old one but few people believe me when I tell them.

View attachment 159424

It was 28 years ago today.
The night the circus turned into a 'horror movie'

Mrs Miggins

I don't remember that! I was long gone by then and obviously occupied with other things.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

"London pub owner stripped and simulated sex with BMW at side of dual carriageway in north Wales, court hears"



story here

 

[Bus Honeygun]

Man who swerved to avoid octopus remains in custody for drug-driving

 

[Raheem]

Man who swerved to avoid octopus remains in custody for drug-driving

Especially like the ambiguity in the headline.

 

[two sheds]

It doesn't say what happened to the octopus

 

[Poi E]

Legged it.

 

[Serge Forward]

Kraken headline!

 

[Yossarian]

Legged it.

So long, suckers!

 

[cupid_stunt]

Man who swerved to avoid octopus remains in custody for drug-driving

What would a octopus be doing on A381 Salcombe Road near Burleigh Lane, in the middle of the countryside?

Octopuses are not unheard of in the seas off the south coast of England, but this particular cephalopod would have had to crawl more than 5km over hills and fields to find itself in the path of a car on the A381.
Crash driver 'swerved to avoid octopus'

I suspect the drug involved was shrooms or acid.

 

[Orang Utan]

What would a octopus be doing on A381 Salcombe Road near Burleigh Lane, in the middle of the countryside?



I suspect the drug involved was shrooms or acid.

Aye, the octopus must have been on acid to have been roaming so far from its natural habitat

 

[Dogsauce]

It doesn't say what happened to the octopus

It says he swerved to avoid ‘octopus remains’ so I assume it had already met its fate.

 

[andysays]

What would a octopus be doing on A381 Salcombe Road near Burleigh Lane? ...

About 50mph?

 

[cupid_stunt]

It says he swerved to avoid ‘octopus remains’ so I assume it had already met its fate.

Err?

he swerved to avoid an octopus remains in police custody

I read that as he remains remains in police custody, not that he avoided octopus remains.

 

[Poi E]

Ah, they arrested the octopus. Fair dos.

 

[petee]

kids these days

Armed teens arrested at metro bank, call Uber to get away

Sorry, this content is not available in your region.

 

[Dogsauce]

Do professional getaway drivers still exist, or has that noble trade been lost to the gig economy too?

 

[Dogsauce]

Err?



I read that as he remains remains in police custody, not that he avoided octopus remains.

Reads both ways

(I think Raheem also noted this if I’m understanding his post correctly)

 

[cupid_stunt]

Reads both ways

(I think Raheem also noted this if I’m understanding his post correctly)

Not when the shitty Devon Live reports goes on to say:

Devon and Cornwall police say he remains in custody this morning.

A spokesman said: "The 49-year-old man from Salcombe remains in custody at Torquay."

And, the slightly better BBC report says:

Officers, who tweeted about the incident, said they found no evidence of an octopus on the road.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Do professional getaway drivers still exist, or has that noble trade been lost to the gig economy too?

 

[neonwilderness]

Does this count or not?

 

[Poi E]

Must have been written by the village idiot. The billboard is clearly visible.

 

[Yossarian]

Meanwhile, in Newfoundland...

Vats of seafood sauce left to rot in small N.L. town | CBC News

 

[gentlegreen]

Meanwhile, in Newfoundland...

Vats of seafood sauce left to rot in small N.L. town | CBC News

Surely that would fetch a premium price now ?

 

[Poi E]

Thats actually awful.

 

[gentlegreen]

I misread it as "fish sauce".
Putrid dairy and eggs would be disgusting.
I wonder how one would safely dispose of stuff like that....

 

[Dogsauce]

I misread it as "fish sauce".
Putrid dairy and eggs would be disgusting.
I wonder how one would safely dispose of stuff like that....

Flog it to the starving Brits after brexit.

 

[Ground Elder]

Octopus that man swerved to avoid has been found

Since the incident, the octopus in question has been spotted in a field