Local Newspaper Headlines!

[neonwilderness]

Devon couple save £15,000 by never using their heating

I'm calling bullishit on their claim that neither of them have been ill for 10 years

 

[Poi E]

All those living in fuel poverty are actually saving money! Just put on a few more layers.

 

[Badgers]

Been leafing through the Bude & Stratton Post during a trip to Cornwall and found a few gems:

Page 2


Page 3

 

[Badgers]

Also this suspicious object caused alarm

 

[Poi E]

Very good reporting of absolutely nothing.

 

[DaveCinzano]

About 50mph?

 

[Nine Bob Note]

This isn't a headline, but is a published photo of a vicar blessing a new charging point for electric vehicles. It's Cumbria, people get bored when we're not under five feet of water

 

[neonwilderness]

Man who swerved to avoid octopus remains in custody for drug-driving

There’s been a development

Octopus that man swerved to avoid has been found

 

[Badgers]

 

[Dom Traynor]

Devon couple save £15,000 by never using their heating

I'm calling bullishit on their claim that neither of them have been ill for 10 years

They would thrive in New Zealand

 

[neonwilderness]

Does this man look more like Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickins on or Jamiroquai's Jay-Kay

 

[Raheem]

This isn't a headline, but is a published photo of a vicar blessing a new charging point for electric vehicles. It's Cumbria, people get bored when we're not under five feet of water

Really hoping he's not a real vicar, cos I so want to have an example of performance art I can say I like.

 

[two sheds]

Really hoping he's not a real vicar, cos I so want to have an example of performance art I can say I like.

It's all performance art

 

[petee]

a vicar blessing a new charging point for electric vehicles.

when i was very young and very pious, i had a tieclip blessed by a priest.

 

[two sheds]

I was (briefly) a minister because ministers got 10% reduction in paint prices.

I still have the minister's card

 

[DaveCinzano]

Does this man look more like Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickins on or Jamiroquai's Jay-Kay

His LinkedIn photo makes him more Brucey:

 

[neonwilderness]

Perth footballers have to pick up 14 bags of poo before they can play - Evening Telegraph

 

[Poi E]

That's really tough if the kids only pick up 13 bags of poo. No football cos doggies didn't poop enough.

 

[neonwilderness]

That's really tough if the kids only pick up 13 bags of poo. No football cos doggies didn't poop enough.

One of them will have to take one for the team

 

[Indeliblelink]

'Eazy-E is a legend' – Man's bizarre campaign to erect statue of NWA star in his hometown
Story is better than the headline, I've been following this on a local facebook group which has been quite amusing

Newhaven resident Guy Stevens says the star of gangsta rap group NWA, who died more than 20 years ago, should have a statue erected in his honour.

In a heartfelt plea directed at Newhaven Town Council he said: “Just do it. Get a statue or a plaque up. Why not?

“You just wasted money on a bandstand on Denton island no one cares about so why not an Eazy-E memorial?”

The council, which is yet to formally respond to his request, said it had “no idea who Eazy-E is”.

Mr Stevens came up with the idea while listening to the rapper dubbed the “godfather of gangsta rap”.

He said: “I think it would be unique, it would stand out, and would be eccentric.

“It would add to the town and bring some interest.

“Nineties’ gangsta rap is basically the greatest music ever anyway.

 

[extra dry]

Poor Mr. Robot, who had his head smashed through the church wall, leaves behind a widow and three kettels.

 

[cupid_stunt]

The Front. Fucking. Page!

(and all of it, except a single column on the right, i.e. 5 out of 6 columns)



He did also drop his trousers & expose himself & picked up a computer monitor and threatened to it throw at the workers, both of which would have made better headlines, TBH.

But, still, almost the whole Front. Fucking. Page!

 

[DotCommunist]

'Eazy-E is a legend' – Man's bizarre campaign to erect statue of NWA star in his hometown
Story is better than the headline, I've been following this on a local facebook group which has been quite amusing

he's not wrong

 

[Favelado]

Elvis Presley in court over knife threat in Blackpool laundrette

 

[Nine Bob Note]

It's all kicking off tonite!



School bans fake tan

 

[petee]

"I was told the individual that had them also shook his jacket over the prosecutors files," Sheriff Walton said.

Mike Clarke, head of security for the Rogers County Courthouse, said the attorney was non-responsive to the situation.

"I don't even think he cared," Clarke said.

Lawyer with bed bugs falling out of clothing causes Rogers County Courthouse to close early Monday

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

 

[Kaka Tim]

I don't remember this story. Was it from the William Hartnel era? - sounds more like fan fiction tbh