Local Newspaper Headlines!

[petee]

Man reports being followed by pig in North Ridgeville

Writing on Facebook, police mentioned "the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard."

 

[Voley]

 

[a_chap]

Sounds about right for Gloucestershire. I tell you, they're just animals them folk.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Frustrated resident plants flowers in pothole

Geri Blake planted flowers in the pothole in Portland Road, Worthing, to make a point to West Sussex County Council, which is responsible for filling them in.

She said to the paper: “This pothole in Portland Road was deep enough for me to plant a couple of marigolds in it.

 

[JimW]

deep enough for me to plant a couple of marigolds

The gloves are off.

 

[T & P]

'Don't toast marshmallows on Hawaii volcano' says US government

'Don't toast marshmallows on Hawaii volcano'

 

[Orang Utan]

Not local, and reminiscent of Spinal Tap, but:
http://www.nme.com/news/music/josh-martin-anal-cunt-escalator-accident-2328320

 

[Orang Utan]

"In addition to his work with Anal Cunt, Martin also lent his talents to Adolf Satan, Impaled Northern Moonforest, and Failure Clinic."

 

[petee]

host of problems for the local PD

 

[Poi E]

Gary Larson was right.

 

[Poi E]

"In addition to his work with Anal Cunt, Martin also lent his talents to Adolf Satan, Impaled Northern Moonforest, and Failure Clinic."

Strange, the main channels are not carrying this story. Tough choice fave track between Hitler was a Sensitive Man and I Lit Your Baby on Fire.

 

[petee]

Gary Larson was right.

i also hope that poor utility has gotten better.

 

[dessiato]

8:33 Suspicious human, what's that?

 

[Chz]

I think friend should be in quotes

 

[cupid_stunt]

Drink driver who blamed imaginary friend gets banned

A drink-driver who tried to blame his actions on an imaginary friend has been disqualified for four years.

Imaginary friend.

 

[Poi E]

Pity he wasn't tried before an imaginary judge.

 

[Voley]

Plympton dog poo bin ''most disgusting in country.''

Is this dog poo bin the most disgusting in the country?

 

[T & P]

Plympton dog poo bin ''most disgusting in country.''

Is this dog poo bin the most disgusting in the country?

"The flies were ridiculous".

 

[Yossarian]

host of problems for the local PD

They seem to have a lot of trouble with their livestock in Young County.






Emergency Dispatch Call Sheet

 

[petee]

Emergency Dispatch Call Sheet

yet more!

4:43 p.m. – It took them awhile, but some livestock on Hwy. 114 and Rodgers Road got in on the complaint-worthy behavior.
5:43 p.m. – Hey! You kids know better than to play on the roof! Old Jacksboro Road, Graham.

 

[Calamity1971]

10:01 p.m. – Burglar alarm hollering, L.C. Young Road, Young County.
9:13 a.m. – Burglar alarm got lonely, Pecan St., Graham.
3:43 a.m. – Burglar alarm calling attention to itself, E. Main, Olney.

 

[hash tag]

Sex club where members must not wear clothes is closed down Surrey sex dungeon couple must pay £45,000 after court hears they ignored order to shut down

The local council said all structures erected must be removed

 

[Poi E]

No sex clubs allowed in the green belt according to the judge. So English.

 

[Yossarian]

Not a good day to have kept the sunroof open...

'I'm covered in poo': Transport Canada investigating feces falling from sky

 

[JimW]

Not a good day to have kept the sunroof open...

'I'm covered in poo': Transport Canada investigating feces falling from sky

Shit happens.

 

[hash tag]

Insert your own headlines to this, from a newspaper story

 

[cupid_stunt]

COUNTY NEWS: ‘Kangaroo’ encounter catches astonished motorist on the hop

The sighting was made in Gallipot Street as the man was driving towards the village of Hartfield. It seems the ‘kangaroo’ is more likely to have been a wallaby - and it has been causing quite a stir locally.

Imogen Vartan, landlady at The Gallipot Inn, said several customers had reported seeing it in the past week, both in the open countryside and on local roads. She said the mysterious marsupial must be living wild somewhere on Ashdown Forest.

 

[Badgers]

 

[a_chap]

WTF would someone need a biology GCSE for that job?

 

[Orang Utan]

WTF would someone need a biology GCSE for that job?

So you understand how dog shit works, of course!