GOAL!!!!!!!!!!! Manchester City 0-1 West Ham (Carroll, 90 min+4):You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried! Andy Carroll has finally repaid the £35m Liverpool spent on him all those years ago by surely winning them their first Premier League title since 1990! Manchester City's players are on the floor. Vincent Kompany is crying, Joe Hart has a 1000-yard stare on and their fans are all heading for the exits. Somehow they've thrown it away. At Anfield, the Kop is in raptures. Brendan Rodgers doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Back here, nor does Manuel Pellegrini. This is the most incredible end to a Premier League season since, er, 2012 and City only have themselves to blame. The goal came from one of their own attacks, for crying out loud. With Liverpool hammering Newcastle 15-0, City had to score and were throwing everyone forward in their desperation. Sergio Aguero made some space in the box, 15 yards out, and sent a curling shot towards the top corner, only for Adrian to make his 17th awe-inspiring save of the afternoon. And from there, West Ham went for it. Why not? They have nothing to lose. Stewart Downing charged up the right flank in that devastating style for his; he went past one City player, he went past a second, then a third. He looked up and saw Carroll peeling away from Kompany at the far post and found him with a pinpoint cross. The ball dropped on to Carroll's head and 6ft 4in of brute Geordie force sent it past a stunned Joe Hart and into the top corner! You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried!
Andy Carroll of West Ham celebrates denying Manchester City the title. Photograph: Paul Gilham/Getty Images
Actually that's not true. You can make this stuff, because I just did. The above is a Guardian print-out-and-keep memento for Liverpool fans, something that will allow them to close their eyes, drift into that special place and pretend that it really did happen, they really did win the league, Andy Carroll really was given the key to the city. If you're a Liverpool fan, you can probably stop reading now. Everyone else, keep reading. There's more preamble. You have to finish the preamble.
Unfortunately for Liverpool and the neutrals - mustn't forget the poor neutrals - it's not just the smart money that's firmly on City winning the league, it's also the stupid money who can't spell its name correctly, keeps superglueing its hand to its face and turning up to work having left its trousers at home. The truth is that Liverpool are relying on a miracle. They're relying on West Ham, Sam Allardyce's West Ham, winning at Manchester City and without wishing to be too much of a misery guts, they're clutching at straws. City have been imperious at home this season, walloping much better sides than the Hammers, and Manchester United, and have scored 61 goals in 18 league matches at the Etihad. When Yaya Toure stormed through to score his 20th goal of a masterful season against Aston Villa on Wednesday night, it was City's 100th goal of the season. West Ham, by contrast, have won four times and scored 15 goals on their travels, although it would be wrong to say that they'll already be on the beach - think of all the lovely prize money you get for finishing 12th instead of 13th. Liverpool, these are your saviours.
If there is a nagging doubt in the back of the minds of all City fans, it is that their team is called Manchester City and their team has made them suffer over the years, Cityitis and all that. This is a club that loves to shoot itself in the foot and there have been times this season when they have done their very best to throw the title away. It is, after all, a year ago since they were losing the FA Cup final to Wigan Athletic, two since the drama of that final day against Queens Park Rangers. Comparisons have been made with that match in the build-up to this afternoon but while they are not entirely without merit, this is a different situation. QPR were in danger of relegation that day and West Ham are not. Come to think of it, maybe they will stride out on to the peach wearing snorkels and swimming shorts, passports in one hand, sun cream in the other.
Of course, West Ham can be an awkward side. They have kept 14 clean sheets this season, won 3-0 at Tottenham and frustrated Chelsea with some spectacular 19th century football at Stamford Bridge. It is not hard to envisage a scenario where tension is building as City crash against a brick wall for an hour or so. But at some point, it is inevitable that they will score. They always score. Manchester City always score. They have so many ways to hurt you and even though Alvaro Negredo and Sergio Aguero have had problems with injuries, that has just given Edin Dzeko an opportunity to write himself into City folklore with some hugely important goals at crucial moments.
So it's City's to lose. And if they don't chuck it away, as long as Yaya Toure isn't possessed by the spirit of Jamie Pollock, then what a first season in England this will have been for Manuel Pellegrini, whose quiet, dignified managerial style is suddenly all the rage. With the exception of when he insulted All of Sweden after the defeat to Barcelona, the Chilean's calm demeanour has lifted City to new heights. He has won over the fans who were so loyal to Roberto Mancini and City have been brilliant to watch all season, ever since they belted Newcastle on the opening day. Surely West Ham cannot resist a side this powerful.
Then again, this has been a season of surprises. Is there to be one final twist? Over to you, Big Sam.
Kick-off: 3pm.
