Just how toe-curlingly awful will the 'festival of Brexit' be?

[Pickman's model]

Stringing up the current cabinet would be a good start and then followed up with all the other cons afterwards.

There are no cons to that idea

 

[Streathamite]

We could certainly suggest reviving a Great British tradition by putting the Cabinet in public stocks.

Ducking stool. much more fun.

 

[Sprocket.]

Ducking stool. much more fun.

Trebuchet and fired on fire into a wall.

 

[pesh]

The whole thing will have to be staged by Europeans as all our production companies and gear houses will have gone bust long before then.

 

[Yossarian]

If the Cabinet are taking part, maybe the festival could showcase British ingenuity with some kind of cross between the Colosseum games and Robot Wars - I could actually get enthusiastic about this festival if there was a chance of seeing Michael Gove trying to run away from killer robots with chainsaws for arms.

 

[Marty1]

Will a £120 million party/festival unite leavers and remainers?

Fireworks should be good.

 

[JimW]

They should hold it at Towton.

 

[Teaboy]

It'll be run by Serco and done via Zoom.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Will a £120 million party/festival unite leavers and remainers?

Fireworks should be good.

Don't be fucking daft.

 

[Marty1]

Don't be fucking daft.

Yeah, it will probably be naff and not achieve its objective anyway.

They should just give the money to the NHS instead.

 

[Streathamite]

If the Cabinet are taking part, maybe the festival could showcase British ingenuity with some kind of cross between the Colosseum games and Robot Wars - I could actually get enthusiastic about this festival if there was a chance of seeing Michael Gove trying to run away from killer robots with chainsaws for arms.

Or Raab and Hancock in a duel to the death

 

[Pickman's model]

Don't be fucking daft.

It's Marty1. Asking him not to be daft is like asking the Niagara falls to flow backwards

 

[Supine]

Or Raab and Hancock in a duel to the death

Hope its a draw

 

[krtek a houby]

We could certainly suggest reviving a Great British tradition by putting the Cabinet in public stocks.

Does anyone put much stock in the British government?

 

[Pickman's model]

Does anyone put much stock in the British government?

Not nearly as much stock as alcohol flows into the British government. From 1 January 2021 drinking to get your nerve up to do something will no longer be termed Dutch courage but de pfeffel's folly

 

[Dogsauce]

Yeah, it will probably be naff and not achieve its objective anyway.

They should just give the money to the NHS instead.

The NHS won’t need it, they’ll be getting three times that amount every single week once we’re free.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Festival of Brexit a great way to lift the spirits of those made unemployed by Brexit, says government

Simon Williams MP, Minister for Jingoistic Dross, has confirmed that a hugely expensive mass gathering is just what the nation needs to deal with a contagious disease pandemic while the economy collapses.

newsthump.com

Festival of Brexit a great way to lift the spirits of those made unemployed by Brexit, says government


Simon Williams MP, Minister for Jingoistic Dross, has confirmed that a hugely expensive mass gathering is just what the nation needs to deal with a contagious disease pandemic while the economy collapses.

Speaking to the BBC, Mr Williams announced the official launch of a £120 million festival designed to celebrate Great Britain and the many diverse ways it’s better than other countries.

He told reporters, “I know some people worry it’s going to be a horrific waste of public money and so trashy it will make everyone deeply ashamed to be British, well, except for Nigel Farage who will be jizzing buckets.

“But we also know that the British public would much prefer for a fortune to be spent on telling ourselves we are better than others, instead of giving a £100 bonus to all NHS Staff.

“It’s especially important as we face tough times ahead. Not my department but I understand we are totally unprepared for the coming winter wave of COVID-19, we are going to lose free access to our biggest market and no new trading partner will trust our word.

“So now you see why we need our spirits lifted. Also, I can’t think of any reason why a huge show with thousands packed together is not a brilliant idea.”

The show is set to include a musical tribute to desserts made with kidney fat, a motorised stunt show using British classics like the Austin Montego, and Jim Davidson reading a Kipling poem while a giant EU flag is burnt by schoolchildren wearing NHS nurses costumes while taking turns to spit on an effigy of Meghan Markle.

 

[MrSki]

 

[Serge Forward]

Will there be a tunnel of goats (with a child, a nurse and a goat stuck in it) at this festival?

 

[Badgers]

Will there be a tunnel of goats (with a child, a nurse and a goat stuck in it) at this festival?

KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE SIDE

 

[Shellee]

It will be crap, and more divisive gloating from the Brexiteers who think they won. Won what what,exactly? By then the post Brexit poverty and reality will have hit and we'll be able to take the piss out their pathetic efforts to celebrate the disaster they've inflicted on all of us. Anyone who takes part or funds it should be on the boycott list.

At least it will be a chance to wind Brexiteers up by pointing and laughing, sabotaging and protesting and wearing my Stuff the Festival badge.

 

[danski]

It will be crap, and more divisive gloating from the Brexiteers who think they won. Won what what,exactly? By then the post Brexit poverty and reality will have hit and we'll be able to take the piss out their pathetic efforts to celebrate the disaster they've inflicted on all of us. Anyone who takes part or funds it should be on the boycott list.

At least it will be a chance to wind Brexiteers up by pointing and laughing, sabotaging and protesting and wearing my Stuff the Festival badge.

That’ll show ‘em, wearing a badge.
Won’t know what’s hit them.

 

[two sheds]

How much is the betting the Qanon, antimaskers, antivaxxers and the like will have a go at taking it over? Would actually be quite fitting though.

 

[agricola]

How much is the betting the Qanon, antimaskers, antivaxxers and the like will have a go at taking it over? Would actually be quite fitting though.

 

[gentlegreen]

FUK 2022: the cathartic festival Brexit Britain needs

FUK 2022: the cathartic festival Brexit Britain needs

Downing Street’s desperate attempt to distract us from the pandemic is looking increasingly threadbare

www.ft.com

 

[two sheds]

FUK 2020 I'd have understood

 

[two sheds]

perhaps they know something we don't

 

[wemakeyousoundb]

FUK is a great band, doubt they'll play though.

 

[not-bono-ever]

it will make a change from endless WW2 celebrations.


actually, no it wont

 

[ska invita]

Is there a date set for this?

ETA 2022 'Festival of Brexit' organisers launch application process