Feminism- experiences of man-whispering and the refusal to do so...
- Thread starter Treacle Toes
- Start date
Urgh what a cunt. I wonder if men in balloon hats or at festies or alternative places are more predatory. I sense that they might be. I always felt on edge at Glastonbury green fields and Arcadia type places rather than your standard pub. Maybe it’s just a debauchery atmosphere. Sorry it happened tho. Awful.
Athos
Well-Known Member
Never, ever trust a hippy. Most of them are just patchouli-scented predators.
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
They did nothing. Just looked worried and stepped back when I hit him and looked embarrassed when they had to leave.
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
Tbf everyone else I met that weekend was sound as fuck. But there's always one right.
Manter
Lunch Mob
Ugh. The good guy enablers -looking embarrassed and worried rather than tanning their dodgy mate’s ass for him. Hate that shit
They couldn’t prey on us if the ‘good guys’ called that shit out
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
Hopefully they gave him some shit for it after or the following day. I guess I just hope he remembered why I hit him and didn't just call me a crazy bitch n play victim. But that's probs wishful thinking.
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
Oh I forgot. I did shout "you need to keep him on a fucking leash!" As they left. 
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
I really do think you successfully managed to properly own a really shit situation there, Clair De Lune.Oh I forgot. I did shout "you need to keep him on a fucking leash!" As they left.
Yeah, he'll probably try to save face by writing you off as some crazy, but if he's got a shred of decency on him, then that slap might just make him think "maybe I warranted that", and change can start...
Baronage-Phase
Well-Known Member
Shit Clair De Lune that's awful. ... fair fucks to you for standing up to him.
Hope you're ok now?
Hope you're ok now?
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
Thank you. I hope so.
Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
Yes I'm ok thanks
it's small fry in the grand scheme. But I stood up for myself so as someone else said I feel 'righteous'
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
Clair De Lune I'm really sorry that happened to you. How shitty 
bloody well done for how you handled it though.
bloody well done for how you handled it though.
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
I feel that this belongs on this thread: my summer mechanic (m, 27) having quit on the spot because he couldn't cope with me telling him (with all his 6 weeks experience) robustly but not unkindly not to argue with me (f, 41, 23 years experience and his direct superior 
) about how something should be done.
) about how something should be done.
Treacle Toes
Time
Young or old, it rankles for some men to be challenged/disagreed with/educated by/stood up to/managed by/ignored by women. Attempts at public humiliation is a common tactic.
Some seem to feel entitled to our demured attention even when they are being abusive/negatively attention seeking...demanding we take part in our own denigration. I mean who could resist.
Some seem to feel entitled to our demured attention even when they are being abusive/negatively attention seeking...demanding we take part in our own denigration. I mean who could resist.
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Clair De Lune
Apocalypse cocktails
I feel that this belongs on this thread: my summer mechanic (m, 27) having quit on the spot because he couldn't cope with me telling him (with all his 6 weeks experience) robustly but not unkindly not to argue with me (f, 41, 23 years experience and his direct superior
laughing at him, not you - clearly. Wow fragile masculinity lost him his job. What. A. Cock.
kalidarkone
Bringing YOU round.....
I hope he keeps getting older more experienced and say it like it is female bosses till he learns his lesson.
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
That is the best bit of the story! glad you got that in.Oh I forgot. I did shout "you need to keep him on a fucking leash!" As they left.
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
would a male mechanic have been more than 'robust' and probably not so kind if he did the same thing to a male superior?I feel that this belongs on this thread: my summer mechanic (m, 27) having quit on the spot because he couldn't cope with me telling him (with all his 6 weeks experience) robustly but not unkindly not to argue with me (f, 41, 23 years experience and his direct superior
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
Toxic masculinity is a decently descriptive term for highlighting hyper-masculine behaviour. It doesn't, as some posters appear to be assuming, describe male behaviour per se, but rather it describes a subset of males whose behaviour is an amalgam of the worst traits - of physical and sexual aggression against others, of entitlement, of habitual self-absolution of any and every "sin", of a thorough disinclination to take responsibility for one's own harmful actions.
I speak from experience. Except for physical and sexual aggression against women, and sexual aggression against men, I was guilty of all the above behaviours when I was younger. I could try to excuse this as reaction against being violently sexually assaulted when I was 8, but the reality is I CHOSE to deal with my demons that way, I wasn't forced to. It was only when I realised my behaviour was killing me, that I grasped the nettle of changing it. I was also very fortunate that about a year after deciding to do so, I met someone whose love for me, and mine for her, completely changed my life.
Unless and until we, as individual males AND as a sex class, take responsibility for our behaviour, the behaviour will continue. Yes, it takes work to dilute the toxicity, but it's worth doing. That doesn't mean we become paragons of virtue, but it does mean our sisters and brothers will eventually have less to fear from males as a sex class, than they currently do.
I speak from experience. Except for physical and sexual aggression against women, and sexual aggression against men, I was guilty of all the above behaviours when I was younger. I could try to excuse this as reaction against being violently sexually assaulted when I was 8, but the reality is I CHOSE to deal with my demons that way, I wasn't forced to. It was only when I realised my behaviour was killing me, that I grasped the nettle of changing it. I was also very fortunate that about a year after deciding to do so, I met someone whose love for me, and mine for her, completely changed my life.
Unless and until we, as individual males AND as a sex class, take responsibility for our behaviour, the behaviour will continue. Yes, it takes work to dilute the toxicity, but it's worth doing. That doesn't mean we become paragons of virtue, but it does mean our sisters and brothers will eventually have less to fear from males as a sex class, than they currently do.
editor
hiraethified
You're banned from this thread now as it seems stirring up a spicy beef froth is your sole aim.
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
I really appreciate this post. Thank you vp.
So many men seem unwilling to take that long hard look at their own and other men's behaviour. Male lack of self awareness and unwillingness to listen to what female posters are saying on these feminist threads is such a barrier to these discussions.
scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
Ernst and Young have been running an amazingly awful "leadership" seminar for women for a few years: HuffPost is now part of Verizon Media It's actually a guidebook to man-whispering:
Here are some of the best bits:
“Don’t flaunt your body ― sexuality scrambles the mind (for men and women).”
"Women’s brains absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so it’s hard for them to focus. Men’s brains are more like waffles. They’re better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square."
And apparently women are gullible and childlike. If you rate yourself low on those scales, but high on "willing to take a stand" and self-sufficiency then you are more masculine than feminine:
You have to laugh or you'll cry.
Here are some of the best bits:
“Don’t flaunt your body ― sexuality scrambles the mind (for men and women).”
"Women’s brains absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so it’s hard for them to focus. Men’s brains are more like waffles. They’re better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square."
And apparently women are gullible and childlike. If you rate yourself low on those scales, but high on "willing to take a stand" and self-sufficiency then you are more masculine than feminine:
You have to laugh or you'll cry.
stuff_it
Too skool for cool
If you list "at the toilet" as one of the places you should take a stand, you're more masculine than feminine...Ernst and Young have been running an amazingly awful "leadership" seminar for women for a few years: HuffPost is now part of Verizon Media It's actually a guidebook to man-whispering:
Here are some of the best bits:
“Don’t flaunt your body ― sexuality scrambles the mind (for men and women).”
"Women’s brains absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so it’s hard for them to focus. Men’s brains are more like waffles. They’re better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square."
And apparently women are gullible and childlike. If you rate yourself low on those scales, but high on "willing to take a stand" and self-sufficiency then you are more masculine than feminine:
You have to laugh or you'll cry.
FabricLiveBaby!
Live Baby Fabric!
The only thing this should be used for is toilet paper.
I expect that as toilet paper this pamphlet would have more masculine qualities. Not very absorbent. Collects shite into the folds and crevices, rather than cleaning it away, and a bit rough on the arse.
FabricLiveBaby!
Live Baby Fabric!
no. we have to cross-stitch the x's in.
FabricLiveBaby!
Live Baby Fabric!
.
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scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
Yeah, it would be tough, because men are tough. According to that list us yielding, gentle women definitely make better toilet paper. Not sure we're supposed to be good for anything else in the workplace though.
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