The Ashes 2021/22

[two sheds]

they're adding overs on now that's cheating

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Hats off to the Barmy Army. Showing resilience.

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Tossers.

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Thank fuck root and spoons didnt pick Wood in this must win test due to “tactics”.

 

[Petcha]

Pretty embarrassing

 

[kabbes]

22 more overs.

My question wasn’t really worth asking in the end

 

[RileyOBlimey]

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Well fought today, well played Jos Buttler.

 

[steveo87]

I'm at a Christmas themed Soft Play (with my son, I hasten to add), it should be a joyous, wonderous experience, especially as Baby87 is starting to understand Christmas and finds Father Christmas in particular hilarious.

But I'm fucking miserable, there was about twenty minutes - about two hours ago - where if thought there'd be a draw, sp fuck you ECB.

 

[steeplejack]

Don't worry Coco the clown and Root will get it all sorted for the next Test, playing Burns as a specialist off-break bowler and drafting in the bus driver who looked useful in a charity match, to "tactically wrongfoot" the Australians.

Yes there was some fight in the rearguard which was pleasing to see but it'd be nice to go into a Test match not expecting to have to fight a desperate rearguard hundreds of runs behind.

 

[Petcha]

There's got to be someone on tour who can play. Surely. I'm fairly sure an Aussie second XI would still beat this lot. Their ability against spin is particularly terrible. They weren't reading Lyon at all. He's not even got much variety, basically a classical off break and the odd arm ball but it was beating the bat relentlessly.

 

[Ted Striker]

Must admit, there's few sporting things that have that all encompassing day-ruining effect than an Australian ashes series.

The timing - to set up a miserable day; the opposition - the most gloating of countries, with an Armstrong-esque ability to have really glossed over their cheating period; and, tbf, the imbalance in quality of the sides.

One win will feel like a series. Let's plan our hopes on that.

Until then it's another held serve at home soil...

 

[Ted Striker]

Plus, aswell, I woke up this morning, switched on my phone to read through my fingers, and within 2 balls Buttler trod on his stumps.

Had a shower, went into the front room, TV on, third delivery.... Anderson nicks it.

It's my fault

 

[Petcha]

Towards the end there were about 7 obnoxious gloating Aussies standing within a couple of metres of the tailenders. That can't be much fun.

 

[Petcha]

So Burns got his highest score of the tour, with an almighty 34, will that be enough to save him? Hilariously, I think it might be.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Must admit, there's few sporting things that have that all encompassing day-ruining effect than an Australian ashes series.

The timing - to set up a miserable day; the opposition - the most gloating of countries, with an Armstrong-esque ability to have really glossed over their cheating period; and, tbf, the imbalance in quality of the sides.

One win will feel like a series. Let's plan our hopes on that.

Until then it's another held serve at home soil...

I don't really mind losing to the Australians because afterwards they still have to a) live in Australia and b) spend lots of time with Steve Smith. So effectively they always lose.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Steve Smith as captain, you just knew there would be a Steve Smith bowling leg spin moment. The cunt.

 

[Ted Striker]

Towards the end there were about 7 obnoxious gloating Aussies standing within a couple of metres of the tailenders. That can't be much fun.

Honestly, I'd just talk about the cheating. Admittedly it's all you can possibly come back with , but Mitchell Starc pretending he had no idea....And that was the first time it ever happened. It's laughable, and we should make it embarrassing for them!

 

[Petcha]

I'm sure Stokes was getting stick from players and crowd about his mental health on the sledging front. And any other side would have pushed the racism thing but Australia being the most racist country I've personally ever visited I think that might be a bit rich. Thing is England didn't really have an opportunity for sledging as they didn't have a spinner.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Honestly, I'd just talk about the cheating. Admittedly it's all you can possibly come back with , but Mitchell Starc pretending he had no idea....And that was the first time it ever happened. It's laughable, and we should make it embarrassing for them!

It's an open secret that every team pushed the boundaries wrt ball tampering, though. The Aussies just did it in a really thick and obvious way.

The Kiwis have demonstrated that you can be a great team and not sledge. Why not try that?

 

[Petcha]

New Zealand are too nice though. We all like a pantomime villain. They don't have one. That's part of why the Ashes is so much fun. The entire Aussie side are fuckwits pretty much, except for Cummins. They're box office.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

It's not much fun at the moment...

 

[Ted Striker]

It's an open secret that every team pushed the boundaries wrt ball tampering, though. The Aussies just did it in a really thick and obvious way.

The Kiwis have demonstrated that you can be a great team and not sledge. Why not try that?

I know that, and you know that, and we all know that...But you don't need to be a Campbell/Cummings satanic media manipulator to understand that's you're (only!) angle and you need to use it.

Otherwise you just look like an eternal sheepish victim. Like Root pretty much does. Put a bit of fucking return fire out there, stick some confidence in the troops (and fans!)

Especially as they've given you such ammo: Piggy's tears; the desperation to allow Warner back because Harris is the cream of the remaining talent pool; Starc et al pretending they had no idea; Bancroft the young 'un taking all the fall for it; the initial attempt to lie, the idea that that was the only time they had done it (and soon after a strong showing at the Ashes a few months prior)...

That actually feels a bit grubby to write, tbf

But desperate times...

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Joe Root tells England bowlers to be braver and rectify Ashes mistakes | Ashes 2021-22 | The Guardian

Joe Root criticised his team for ‘making the same mistakes’ that led to defeat in the first Ashes Test, reserving particular criticism for the bowlers

amp.theguardian.com

Yes, Joe its the bowlers to blame. Lessons on how not to captain 101: Engage in sectarian squabbling to distract from your own failings and fuck ups.

 

[RileyOBlimey]

England may well call up a few players from the Big Bash: England 'set to raid Big Bash' for Ashes reinforcements with Mahmood on standby

James Vince, Sam Billings and Saqib Mahmood are referenced.

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Matt Prior's not wrong: "Take the toss at the Gabba - you turn up there and you win the toss on a green seamer, and you bat. That's a bad call," he said. "You play the spinner on a green seamer in Brisbane but then leave him out at Adelaide, which is renowned for taking spin. These are basic decisions."

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Boycott wants Malan to open (not entirely mental) and Root to bat at 3 (which didn't work out last time did it?).

Timid attitude, terrible technique and poor judgment — England's batsmen simply are not good enough

Burns' technique is too complicated, Hameed's is too simple, Malan may have to open and Root should bat at No 3

www.telegraph.co.uk

 

[Ted Striker]

Matt Prior's not wrong: "Take the toss at the Gabba - you turn up there and you win the toss on a green seamer, and you bat. That's a bad call," he said. "You play the spinner on a green seamer in Brisbane but then leave him out at Adelaide, which is renowned for taking spin. These are basic decisions."

Of all the things, the supposedly bad call toss is the thing I'm fairly 'meh' about. It would take a super-bold call to bowl first on it, not even normally due to the golden rule of toss decisions, but also with the <whenever-it-was> Nasser call that had them 300 odd for 2 on day 1.

And they wanted to of course get off to a steady, damage limited start to the series

And I guess we'll never truly know (as they were;t exactly on fire in Adelaide), but that whole issue was dwarfed by dropping Anderson and Broad. Even after they saw the wicket.

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Implying Anderson and Broad are cowards are is probably not the best idea Joe...

Dressing room relations might be even more strained in light of Root's unusually forthright criticism of his seam attack. Although he did not name Anderson and Broad specifically, it appeared that the captain was most frustrated with the new ball bowlers, whom he accused of bowling the wrong lengths and failing to learn the lessons of four years ago, when England were also well beaten in Adelaide.

"With ball in hand, we didn't bowl the right lengths,” Root told the BBC. “We needed to bowl fuller. As soon as we did in the second innings, we created chances. That's frustrating. We did it four years ago and didn't learn from it. We have to be better.
"We weren't brave enough at times to get the ball up there. We have to be better going into the next game.
“We need to be braver. We needed to look to do as we did in Brisbane [in the first Test] as well. As soon as we did that, that’s the benchmark for us moving forward. We need to look at those passages of play and do it for longer. We need to exploit the conditions.”

James Anderson, Stuart Broad and Chris Woakes targets for Joe Root criticism after Ashes defeat

Root said that England did not take notice of their performance in Adelaide in 2017 - a match Anderson, Broad and Chris Woakes featured in

www.telegraph.co.uk

 

[RileyOBlimey]

Of all the things, the supposedly bad call toss is the thing I'm fairly 'meh' about. It would take a super-bold call to bowl first on it, not even normally due to the golden rule of toss decisions, but also with the <whenever-it-was> Nasser call that had them 300 odd for 2 on day 1.

And they wanted to of course get off to a steady, damage limited start to the series

And I guess we'll never truly know (as they were;t exactly on fire in Adelaide), but that whole issue was dwarfed by dropping Anderson and Broad. Even after they saw the wicket.

On pretty much any other surface I'd totally agree but the Gabba wicket was comedy green.