Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Orang Utan]

YouTube star reviews London chicken shops in search of 'pengest munch'
pengaleng

 

[DaveCinzano]

Not a great headline, I would've gone with Cyclepath To Hell or something, but a quality story about fears of a mad max style terror descending on the nice estates.

Also some excellently listless local newspaper pointing going on in the photo

 

[Mumbles274]

Not funny but totally fucking idiotic and insulting story about a wanker

"Broadband roadworks compared to war torn Syria"

Ashford Broadband roadworks compared to war-torn Syria

 

[JimW]

 

[rekil]

Also some excellently listless local newspaper pointing going on in the photo

"give me your particularly annoyed face"

 

[Siouxsie]

Also some excellently listless local newspaper pointing going on in the photo

I've been looking for one of those jumpers for my uncles Christmas pressie!....I think it looks nice and warm, plus the practical side of being easy to get over his head

 

[Libertad]

Also some excellently listless local newspaper pointing going on in the photo

Gregg Wallace has let himself go a bit.

 

[Orang Utan]

Epic disaster as Limpopo brothers are killed while raping a crocodile - Zimbabwe News | ZW NEWS Zim

 

[Siouxsie]

The magic medicine, given by the local witch doctor, to weaken the croc, didn't work.

Isn't that terrible, you can't trust anyone these days
I thought the croc looked quite happy in the pic.....must have been the wrong 'medicine'

 

[Orang Utan]

There's certainly a moral to that story

 

[DaveCinzano]

There's certainly a moral to that story

Stop raping crocodiles?

 

[Orang Utan]

Stop raping crocodiles?

A* to you! Though, I would modify that to 'don't even start'

 

[DaveCinzano]

A* to you! Though, I would modify that to 'don't even start'

We don't all have your unimpeachable moral probity and innate intelligence though.

 

[Pseudopsycho]

I read that and it seems this is quite a common thing as they blamed the deaths on the crocodiles for becoming muthi resistant!

 

[DaveCinzano]

I read that and it seems this is quite a common thing as they blamed the deaths on the crocodiles for becoming muthi resistant!

Enough with the muthifucking crocodiles!

 

[Pseudopsycho]

The other thing is they must have a really niche kink if they can't perform in the bedroom but can in a river with a carnivorous reptile surrounded by family...

 

[rekil]

Carrickfergus man can’t remember rioting after consuming Buckfast, cocaine and crystal meth

 

[gosub]

Furious mum complains to Tesco after alphabet potato shapes did not spell out son's name

 

[Ground Elder]

Furious mum complains to Tesco after alphabet potato shapes did not spell out son's name

See post #1593 for further details

 

[neonwilderness]

Stand off with police in was 'like something out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

 

[DaveCinzano]

Stand off with police in was 'like something out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

LITERALLY

...the 26-year-old has walked free from court on a suspended prison sentence...

Oh.

 

[neonwilderness]

LITERALLY



Oh.

I think that bit is in the director's cut.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Leatherface: The Probation Years

 

[Ponyutd]

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Not funny but totally fucking idiotic and insulting story about a wanker

"Broadband roadworks compared to war torn Syria"

Ashford Broadband roadworks compared to war-torn Syria

A comment beneath the article claims that the bloke moaning is "the bully of the estate". Either way he's an idiot.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Thief snatches mobile phone, turns out it's chocolate

 

[Santino]

Some light internet research suggests that the crocodile story is a complete fiction designed to appeal to people's prejudices about African culture.

 

[DotCommunist]

Warwick fish and chip shop offering battered sprouts

 

[Sasaferrato]

This mistake appeared in a local rag in Kent some years ago.

After the local elections, 2nd headline on page, should have read 'Count at the town hall', but appeared as 'Cunt at the town hall' - never a truer statement

And down in Somerset when the 'Shift workers wanted' ad appeared as 'Shit workers wanted'.

There was, IIRC, a correction in the Manchester Evening News.

It went:

Correction. The comment printed in yesterday's paper re politicians should have read 'The Commons is largely populated by lawyers and academics, not 'Liars and arseholes' as printed.'.

 

[Siouxsie]

Awww, hasn't Bod's aunt Flo aged well