Local Newspaper Headlines!

[bluescreen]

" It was probably the messiest project to date."

 

[Puddy_Tat]

not a local newspaper but

"Florida man arrested after trying to cross Atlantic in hamster wheel vessel"

Florida man arrested after trying to cross Atlantic in hamster wheel vessel

Reza Baluchi tried to "run" from Florida to London in a homemade vessel during hurricane season.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[two sheds]

"Based on the condition of the vessel - which was afloat as a result of wiring and buoys - [US Coast Guard] officers determined Baluchi was conducting a manifestly unsafe voyage," the criminal complaint says.
Mr Baluchi's voyage began as officials were preparing for the arrival of a major hurricane.

and

 

[quiet guy]

N Wales Police issue warning to householders if they find a Christmas gnome in their garden

https://www.itv.com/news/wales/2023-09-05/why-police-are-warning-those-who-find-christmas-gnomes-in-their-gardens

 

[Indeliblelink]

'Mermaid skeleton' washes up on busy beach

Beachgoers were shocked to discover the skeleton of a mermaid on a Sussex beach while soaking up the sun.

www.theargus.co.uk

 

[seeformiles]

Fatal Yoga

'Ritual mass murder' report in Chapel St Leonards was yoga class

Police say the call was made with "good intentions" after students were mistaken for bodies.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Indeliblelink]

Prince William kissed by Gazza in Bournemouth Pret a Manger

The former England star planted a kiss on the Prince of Wales' cheek as they met in Bournemouth.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[iona]

Fatal Yoga

'Ritual mass murder' report in Chapel St Leonards was yoga class

Police say the call was made with "good intentions" after students were mistaken for bodies.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

'Mermaid skeleton' washes up on busy beach

Beachgoers were shocked to discover the skeleton of a mermaid on a Sussex beach while soaking up the sun.

www.theargus.co.uk

View attachment 390564

I posted that yesterday, last post on the pervious page.

It's been a fairly topical conversation here in Worthing, the artist did well with that.

 

[chandlerp]

Artist? Fuck, you mean it's not real?

 

[isvicthere?]

Not a headline, but still related.....

 

[isvicthere?]

Similarly, top "satirical" letters page commentary form this wag.....

 

[petee]

Reporter At Press Conference For Escaped Convict Asks Most Bizarre Question Ever

“Was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, 'Little Rascals’-style?” the reporter asked.

www.huffpost.com

"The reporter’s question seemed to be based on the fact that Cavalcante is relatively short. But it was still a stretch.

“Was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, ′Little Rascals’-style?” the reporter asked."

 

[petee]

instant classic AI rubbish

MSN

web.archive.org

summary here with extra info

MSN Retracts Insane AI-Generated Obit Calling Dead NBA Player ‘Useless’

The entirety of the obit—as offensive as it is incomprehensible—is filled with AI-generated gibberish.

www.thedailybeast.com

 

[isvicthere?]

"I´m old, so the law shouldn´t apply to me!"

‘I only parked at bus stop for two minutes – where’s the leeway?’

An elderly couple are fuming over getting a parking ticket for briefly pulling over at a bus stop.

www.kentonline.co.uk

 

[isvicthere?]

"I didn´t even turn the engine off!"

 

[hitmouse]

Reporter At Press Conference For Escaped Convict Asks Most Bizarre Question Ever

“Was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, 'Little Rascals’-style?” the reporter asked.

www.huffpost.com

"The reporter’s question seemed to be based on the fact that Cavalcante is relatively short. But it was still a stretch.

“Was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, ′Little Rascals’-style?” the reporter asked."

Bold move by that escaped convict, giving a press conference like that.

 

[seeformiles]

"I´m old, so the law shouldn´t apply to me!"

‘I only parked at bus stop for two minutes – where’s the leeway?’

An elderly couple are fuming over getting a parking ticket for briefly pulling over at a bus stop.

www.kentonline.co.uk

They should consider themselves lucky the death penalty has been abolished

 

[hash tag]

"Mr Winchester added: “I understand if you break the law you have to face the consequences but I was two minutes at a stop where the bus only comes once an hour. It becomes rather a laughing matter."

I understand if you break the law
We are pensioners, combined age over 150.

 

[isvicthere?]

"Mr Winchester added: “I understand if you break the law you have to face the consequences but I was two minutes at a stop where the bus only comes once an hour. It becomes rather a laughing matter."

I understand if you break the law
We are pensioners, combined age over 150.

With a "grandfather of four" get-out-of-jail card!

 

[two sheds]

Well it's fair enough if indeed there were no buses for an hour. They should take that into account - no penalty if no bus comes, death penalty if you delay a bus.

 

[cupid_stunt]

"I´m old, so the law shouldn´t apply to me!"

‘I only parked at bus stop for two minutes – where’s the leeway?’

An elderly couple are fuming over getting a parking ticket for briefly pulling over at a bus stop.

www.kentonline.co.uk

TBF, I think the traffic warden was being somewhat petty in this case, around here they don't ticket cars if someone is sitting in them, they knock on the window and ask them to move, if they don't, then a ticket is issued.

This raised an eyebrow...

He afterwards made a written complaint to the authority but it replied that this was a rule of the Highway Code and stopping at a bus stop is not even allowed for picking up or dropping off passengers.

Somewhat buggers things for the bus drivers.

 

[danny la rouge]

Jacqueline Wake Young: Elgin roundabout proposal is more interesting than TV

Drivers want to know the outcome after a marriage proposal on a bedsheet pinned to a fence in Elgin is followed by an unexpected response

www.pressandjournal.co.uk

 

[petee]

Napa Homeowner Allegedly Stabbed By Trespasser Pulls Knife Out of His Own Back, Stabs Suspect

A Napa County resident engaged in a seriously cinematic act of self-defense on Saturday morning, attacking his attacker with the same knife he was stabbed with.

sfist.com

 

[Magnus McGinty]

Not local and not a headline. But WTF are the Mail using these images with this story for?

 

[hash tag]

No way...that's photoshopped or similar

 

[Cerv]

someone's fucked up and mixed the photos from from two different articles posted today.

does the Mail's equivalent of this have pictures of a burning tower block?

SS uniform-wearing group ordered to leave Sheringham 1940s festival

Their dress was inappropriate, offensive and disrespectful, the event's organiser says.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[hitmouse]

Not local and not a headline. But WTF are the Mail using these images with this story for?

View attachment 392366

It's a mistake with the headline, the full story is supposed to read "eighty firefighters have to abandon extremely poor taste fancy dress party and rush back to work to put out blaze".

 

[seeformiles]

someone's fucked up and mixed the photos from from two different articles posted today.

does the Mail's equivalent of this have pictures of a burning tower block?

SS uniform-wearing group ordered to leave Sheringham 1940s festival

Their dress was inappropriate, offensive and disrespectful, the event's organiser says.

www.bbc.co.uk

I used to work with a fella (in his 60s) years ago who went to events like these dressed as Home Guard but he was a bit suspicious of the ones coming as SS as opposed to Wehrmacht

 

[hitmouse]

I used to work with a fella (in his 60s) years ago who went to events like these dressed as Home Guard but he was a bit suspicious of the ones coming as SS as opposed to Wehrmacht

Obligatory: