Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Poi E]

They could always have a sandwich instead.

 

[two sheds]

Dogging at beauty spots is putting people off their fish and chips

Fish and chips at beauty spots is putting people off their dogging

 

[neonwilderness]

Carnage averted as police capture dangerous bird at large

 

[cupid_stunt]

Regional publisher launches probe after four-letter word appears in death notice.

 

[Lazy Llama]

Regional publisher launches probe after four-letter word appears in death notice.

The S(cunt)horpe Telegraph, no less

 

[cupid_stunt]

The S(cunt)horpe Telegraph, no less

I like the fact that Reach PLC, Daily Mirror group, is carrying out an investigation into how it happened - it's so fucking simple - you allow people to book ads on online, and you don't employ staff to check them before they go to print.

 

[cupid_stunt]

It brings a whole new meaning to the big regional press groups desire for RGC!

* RGC = Reader Generated Content, i.e. stuff for free.

 

[petee]

Man Throws Beer Bottle at Bartender Over Christmas Music: Police

 

[two sheds]

Not guilty, outlandish provocation.

 

[Kaka Tim]

Man Throws Beer Bottle at Bartender Over Christmas Music: Police

its my birthday and im not it saying again - NO CLIFF RICHARD! NO SLADE! AND NO FUCKING WHAM! Now put sabbath back on or i'll fucking knak yer!

 

[petee]

Not guilty, outlandish provocation.

the place I saw that had a stream of comments, all of which were a version of "no jury in the world ..."

 

[DaveCinzano]

Dogging at beauty spots is putting people off their fish and chips

Something something salt and vinegar strokes something

 

[Kaka Tim]

Police called to drunk woman stuck in a cat flap

 

[petee]

Police called to drunk woman stuck in a cat flap

i was worried that the video was going to show her stuck ...

 

[Maggot]

Regional publisher launches probe after four-letter word appears in death notice.

View attachment 163994

 

[neonwilderness]

Chainsaw-wielding good Samaritan praised for chopping up tree blocking major Gosport road

Chainsaw-wielding good Samaritan

 

[Bus Honeygun]

"In Plymouth Live's poll, over 91 per cent of people have said they would not buy a second hand takeaway."

Woman reveals why she tried to sell left-over Chinese on Facebook

 

[petee]

hahahahahahahahaha

Thieves Trying to Steal Precious Painting Get Worthless Copy

"ROME — The thieves who took “The Crucifixion,” a painting by the Flemish artist Pieter Brueghel the Younger, from a church in a Northern Italian town on Wednesday, knew what they were doing.

...

What the thieves didn’t know was that the painting was a copy that had been substituted for the original artwork a few weeks earlier, after the carabinieri, Italy’s military police, were tipped off that burglars had their sights set on the Brueghel."

 

[existentialist]

Sadly, the headline was subsequently changed (click the image for story).

 

[neonwilderness]

OAPs living at seaside home want 55p refund after TV trouble

I may deny them the 55p, deduct it from my next rent payment. If everyone did that, it would be great.

 

[Poi E]

View attachment 164728
Sadly, the headline was subsequently changed (click the image for story).

So what did they glue the baby to?

 

[petee]

hahahahahahaheeheeheehee

Politician who opposed mandatory chickenpox vaccine has been hospitalized after getting chickenpox

Massimiliano Fedriga, a member of Italy's far-right League party, is dead-set against the country's mandatory vaccination laws. Guess who contracted chickenpox and had to spend four days in the hospital?

 

[petee]

Initiative started to rename Dripping Springs to, uh, 'Pound Town' after early settler

"For more information on, er, Pound Town, click here."

 

[existentialist]

So what did they glue the baby to?

Ah, it turns out that the baby wasn't actually *glued* at all.

Personally, I suspect it was a stunt by Pembrokeshire County Council, who seem hell-bent on getting as many mentions of their new library, which has been built on a dank pier structure built over the Cleddau River previously occupied by an army surplus place and some other slightly dubious low-rent operation, into the local press.

At least, I wouldn't put it past them.

 

[two sheds]

that's a fine subordinate clause

 

[petee]

wow

https://www.unionleader.com/news/cr...cle_d2adf01c-58b1-5b28-af9d-83cd3676c82c.html

One-legged man high on bath salts escalates Market Basket parking complaint to threatening to kill Claremont officers

 

[Badgers]

 

[Indeliblelink]

Man eats raw pig's head outside vegan festival

 

[dessiato]

Man eats raw pig's head outside vegan festival

 

[Yossarian]

What I don't understand is how he managed to keep his white jumper clean while eating a raw, bloody pig's head. Not entirely sure what kind of point he was trying to make either...