Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Indeliblelink]

Naked protesters disrupt Hove MP's Brexit speech by gluing their BUMS to gallery glass

 

[mx wcfc]

Community spirit in Winchester.....

Give Us a Push? - Winchester Today

 

[Bus Honeygun]

It was in Truro. Hope that's not a spoiler.

Robbie Savage spotted in Devon and Cornwall eating a pasty

 

[Badgers]

Lorry carrying 17 tonnes of gammon has burst into flames

 

[Badgers]

 

[neonwilderness]

People have been asked to stop pooing on South Shields Pier

 

[Poi E]

A Geordie writes:
Well this country is now reaping the rewards of the do gooders, we cant dicsipline our kids and soft justice for criminals no wonder people will $h1t and p1$$ anywhere, banned from the pier if caught, they should throw them into the Tyne if caught with a couple of rocks tied round their neck.

 

[neonwilderness]

'Travis Perkins depressed my cat'

 

[Yossarian]

Squamish Fire Rescue says a blaze that ravaged a downtown building housing a cannabis grow operation has been contained as of noon on Monday. ...

Smoke is minimal," said Fire Chief Bill Stoner. "We have knocked down the majority of the fire. Anything left is very minimal."

UPDATED: Blaze erupts in downtown Squamish Monday morning

 

[cupid_stunt]

Fire Chief Bill Stoner - that's brilliant.

 

[Poi E]

For the first time I shall bookmark a post. Brilliant.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Sheriff’s deputies in Washington County received a recent 911 call from a woman who said someone had broken into her home and locked themselves in her bathroom.

She told police she could see shadows moving under the door.

Deputies responded to the scene with their trusty K-9 officer, ready to take down a burglar. They could hear rustling noises coming from behind the door, but the suspect wasn’t responding to commands to come out with their hands up.

So with guns drawn, deputies opened the door, ready to pounce. Instead, they were met by a Roomba, a robotic vacuum cleaner, that appeared to be trapped inside.

“We breached the bathroom door and encountered a very thorough vacuuming job,” the sheriff’s office said in a Facebook post Tuesday.

Officers respond to burglary only to find trapped Roomba

 

[Wilf]

The S(cunt)horpe Telegraph, no less

Curses, beaten to it (a month ago )!

 

[Enviro]

Hengrove man left shocked by 'absolute disaster of dessert' he bought for £6 at Pizza Hut

It was supposed to be a birthday treat

The pics are classic!

 

[Enviro]

Some of the comments are pretty good too.

Not sure what's more embarrassing: that someone would consider paying £6 for a single biscuit from a pizza parlour; that they have no shame in running to the press; or that the press thinks it newsworthy.

It's time to 'dessert' this 'absolute disaster' of a website. You can't even find funny stories that are actually funny. This shouldn't have made it past the guy's facebook page.

Our road network is collapsing, the centre of town looks like the third world, social care is being slashed, scum are blowing cannabis smoke into policemen's faces, our schools are underfunded, children are too hungry to learn, rents are sky high, the Tories are heartless, Labour are brainless, the rest are all loonies and corruption is rampant in local government, which has no money for anything except vastly expensive vanity projects.

But that's okay, in Hengrove someone bought a disappointing pudding.

I would worry less about BP [Bristol Post] gap filling with stories like this and worry more that humans like this biscuit botherer exist amongst us.

 

[Dogsauce]

The comments are pretty good too.

Apart from the racism in the second one.

 

[Enviro]

Apart from the racism in the second one.

Hmm fair point. I didn't read it like that, but you're probably right?

 

[kabbes]

Hengrove man left shocked by 'absolute disaster of dessert' he bought for £6 at Pizza Hut

It was supposed to be a birthday treat

The pics are classic!

He bought a biscuit and he got a biscuit. What am I missing here?

 

[Enviro]

I think the problem, as far as he sees it, is that it was overpriced and that, as a birthday treat, it was a little underwhelming.

 

[kabbes]

I think the problem, as far as he sees it, is that it was overpriced and that, as a birthday treat, it was a little underwhelming.

What did he think he was getting? It’s from Pizza Hut and it’s called “cookie dough”. Did he think he was getting a Heston Blumemthal creation?

 

[Steel Icarus]

"It came with a little pot of ice cream, but you expect that"

 

[Poi E]

The sense of entitlement.

 

[Rob Ray]

A little under 10,000 sheets can be produced per tree, and the Post has a paper circulation of 17,000 or so, meaning at least two had to be cut down to bring the masses this story about an underwhelming biscuit.

 

[friedaweed]

HS2 will not touch John Bishop's Whatcroft Hall home despite £6.8m purchase

Funny comments on this one.

Rodders Trotter 8th April 4:01 pm
2 I'd sell up if it was going to run right past my back garden too.

Last Updated: 9th April 4:05 pm







Darnhall x 9th April 7:52 am
I'd sell my house for HALF it's value if I found out John Bishop was moving next door, along with other painfully unfunny comedians like Michael McIntyre & Chris Ramsay.
Last Updated: 9th April 4:06 pm

 

[DaveCinzano]

A little under 10,000 sheets can be produced per tree, and the Post has a paper circulation of 17,000 or so, meaning at least two had to be cut down to bring the masses this story about an underwhelming biscuit.

Circulation figures are not the same as sales figures or print run figures. Typically they might be grounded in the notion that each copy out in the wild (e.g. copies sold + freebies to hotel chains + other promos) is read by two people.

 

[dessiato]

Games café 'Board Beans' opens in Northwich

Board Beans. No. Just absolutely no. I dislike the whole concept. A cafe in which you play board games. How bloody awful.

The concept is bad too. You want people in, buying high mark up goods and then leaving. Not sitting around playing boring games and blocking tables. High mark up, high rate of customer turn over.

And "Board Beans!"

Rant over.

(Fucking Board Beans, FFS! )

 

[Mordi]

Games café 'Board Beans' opens in Northwich

Board Beans. No. Just absolutely no. I dislike the whole concept. A cafe in which you play board games. How bloody awful.

The concept is bad too. You want people in, buying high mark up goods and then leaving. Not sitting around playing boring games and blocking tables. High mark up, high rate of customer turn over.

And "Board Beans!"

Rant over.

(Fucking Board Beans, FFS! )

Terrible name, not sure there's a problem with the concept though. They're very popular in Germany (where despite being more of a beer and pretzels deal than cafe they're still popular with families) and there's been a few set up around the UK. You usually pay a cover fee for using the games/table and once you're there you'll obviously buy drinks and that, especially if you're playing a game that could last an afternoon.

I met some friends at one in Dresden once and was all excited to get my teeth into something crunchy and German and instead we ended up playing a repackaged version of Snap. Fucking adults playing ten minute rounds of fucking snap. And there was a cupboard full of games about trains and logisitics and maybe a little war. I was and remain outraged.

 

[Serge Forward]

Games café 'Board Beans' opens in Northwich

Board Beans. No. Just absolutely no. I dislike the whole concept. A cafe in which you play board games. How bloody awful.

The concept is bad too. You want people in, buying high mark up goods and then leaving. Not sitting around playing boring games and blocking tables. High mark up, high rate of customer turn over.

And "Board Beans!"

Rant over.

(Fucking Board Beans, FFS! )

I like it! Better than a bunch of gormless anti social twats silently noodling on their phones for ages.

 

[Orang Utan]

Games café 'Board Beans' opens in Northwich

Board Beans. No. Just absolutely no. I dislike the whole concept. A cafe in which you play board games. How bloody awful.

The concept is bad too. You want people in, buying high mark up goods and then leaving. Not sitting around playing boring games and blocking tables. High mark up, high rate of customer turn over.

And "Board Beans!"

Rant over.

(Fucking Board Beans, FFS! )

There's a lot of them about. They're very popular. Weird thing to be a snob about

 

[Indeliblelink]

Pretty common in lots of pubs too.