Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Kaka Tim]

'I caught a man having a poo, he laughed and hit me with his van'

did the police give him a ... er... log number?

 

[Badgers]

 

[UrbaneFox]

Devon couple save £15,000 by never using their heating

I'm calling bullishit on their claim that neither of them have been ill for 10 years

I think that's lovely. They hold hands all the time, for extra warmth, and even Fido joins in.

 

[wiskey]

Driver spotted with sheep, a deer, a parrot and a goat in his Vauxhall Zafira

 

[Poi E]

Having an uncaged bird in a car is a really bad idea.

 

[wiskey]

Having an uncaged bird in a car is a really bad idea.

And a goat is sensible

 

[two sheds]

Goats don't fly around

 

[hash tag]

Knitted bollards https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-47321911

 

[petee]

FLORIDA’S HERPES-CARRYING MONKEY POPULATION IS BOOMING
“Do not feed it, do not approach it. Just stay away from it.”

https://www.firstcoastnews.com/amp/...b-9e07-068605068fdb&__twitter_impression=true

 

[neonwilderness]

I think that's lovely. They hold hands all the time, for extra warmth, and even Fido joins in.

Fido doesn't look that keen tbf

 

[neonwilderness]

Driver spotted with sheep, a deer, a parrot and a goat in his Vauxhall Zafira

Is this a modern day version of the fox, chicken and grain puzzle?

 

[dessiato]

Is the safest zebra crossing in the world in Spain? - Euro Weekly News Spain

 

[hash tag]

Has he got it licked it covered

Grandad downs half a pot of paint mistaking it for yogurt - and has no regrets

 

[cupid_stunt]

Has he got it licked it covered

Grandad downs half a pot of paint mistaking it for yogurt - and has no regrets

A real life version of Uncle Albert in Only Fools & Horses mixing-up the gravy & coffee granules.

 

[dessiato]

Woman starts watching old porn movie - then realises it's her mum and dad

 

[cupid_stunt]

Woman starts watching old porn movie - then realises it's her mum and dad

When I first saw some of the topless photos of my mother as a model, in various magazines, I felt uncomfortable.

Thank fuck it was only topless & very tasteful stuff, and not outright porn stuff.

 

[dessiato]

When I first saw some of the topless photos of my mother as a model, in various magazines, I felt uncomfortable.

Thank fuck it was only topless & very tasteful stuff, and not outright porn stuff.

Once, when I was 17, I walked in on my parents indulging in mild S&M. I was going to tell them my girlfriend was pregnant . That was a messed up day.

 

[Orang Utan]

Once, when I was 17, I walked in on my parents indulging in mild S&M. I was going to tell them my girlfriend was pregnant . That was a messed up day.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Once, when I was 17, I walked in on my parents indulging in mild S&M. I was going to tell them my girlfriend was pregnant . That was a messed up day.

Blimey!

TBF, I was used to seeing my mother topless as a kid, as she always used to sunbathe topless in the garden, and I knew she had been a model & seen various photo shoots of her, so not sure why I felt uncomfortable seeing the topless ones, later in my life.

 

[petee]

Once, when I was 17, I walked in on my parents indulging in mild S&M. I was going to tell them my girlfriend was pregnant . That was a messed up day.

 

[Badgers]

 

[neonwilderness]

Ex-cop who wants to build a 'moon base' in Moulsecoomb is banned from becoming a councillor

And if he got in, he is promising he would build a Hollywood studio, an island off Brighton and a moon base which would allow people to experience what it’s like to be on the moon.

He said it would be “paid for by Hollywood”, which he hopes will also build a movie studio in the area. He said this would be used to make a trilogy based on the story of King Arthur, written by himself.

 

[Indeliblelink]

BREAKING NEWS
Morrisons lowers sausage roll prices to compete with Greggs

 

[Indeliblelink]

Man accused of dipping testicles in customer's salsa

 

[kabbes]

Man accused of dipping testicles in customer's salsa

“The company issued a refund for the tainted food.”

 

[neonwilderness]

Pensioner, 78, trapped in Sunderland bus station toilet for an hour - he called loved ones to bid them a funny final farewell

I posted on Facebook too and it received a lot of laughs.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Local democracy reporter reveals city council’s ‘orgasm’ ban.

 

[petee]

Hipster whines at tech mag for using his pic to imply hipsters look the same, discovers pic was of an entirely different hipster

 

[Kaka Tim]

View attachment 162506

i suspect a parent may have helped with that particular bit of homework

 

[Yossarian]

Dogging at beauty spots is putting people off their fish and chips