Local Newspaper Headlines!

[petee]

Tourist complains on Trip Advisor the sand on beach was too wet | Metro News

One person wrote: ‘Also went to Perranporth once and the sea was wet. ‘If you could sort that out to it would be very much appreciated.’

 

[neonwilderness]

Firefighters called to 'foul-mouthed' parrot on roof of London home

In an effort to bond with the parrot, the fire crew manager coaxed her with the words "I love you", as instructed by animal experts.

But the parrot told the firefighters to 'f*** off', according to a witness.

 

[petee]

Firefighters called to 'foul-mouthed' parrot on roof of London home

hahahahahaha
foul-mouthed parrots, you say?

 

[bendeus]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 'poo jogger',

Busted ‘poo jogger’ quits top executive job

 

[Voley]

Poorly parked car in St Ives gets covered in dog shit, a gutted fish and, worse, a note saying 'I bet you listen to Nickelback.'

Poorly-parked car adorned with a dead fish, dog poo and abusive notes

 

[cupid_stunt]

Poorly parked car in St Ives gets covered in dog shit, a gutted fish and, worse, a note saying 'I bet you listen to Nickelback.'

Poorly-parked car adorned with a dead fish, dog poo and abusive notes

 

[cupid_stunt]

Six for £3.99 on e-bay, bargain, and ordered!

 

[bendeus]

Driver holds ‘innocent frog’ hostage after rolling car, yelling at police, Nebraska cops say

 

[Opera Buffa]

Driver holds ‘innocent frog’ hostage after rolling car, yelling at police, Nebraska cops say

We've had that one bendeus.

Authorities suspect the man was under the influence of drugs and possibly alcohol.

 

[bendeus]

We've had that one bendeus.

Authorities suspect the man was under the influence of drugs and possibly alcohol.

Damn you!

 

[Opera Buffa]

Stop toadying to my comments, frogspawn. Hop it.

 

[cybershot]

An escaped parrot stuck on a roof told its rescuers to 'f*** off' - Portsmouth

 

[Opera Buffa]

Potato theft sparks police probe

Anyone with information that could help the probe is asked ... to ring Crimestoppers, anonymously, on 0800 555 111.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Potato theft sparks police probe.

Police investigating the theft of potatoes from a farmer's field are appealing for information.

Foraging off the land 100%.

 

[DaveCinzano]

hahahahahaha
foul-mouthed parrots, you say?

Throws up more questions than answers, TBF

 

[scifisam]

At least he didn't take a plane load of people with him.

He did try to kill his wife and son though, by crashing the plane into their home (they got out). He was separated from them due to domestic abuse charges against him. Not sure it fits on this thread.

 

[Voley]

''We're Newspaper Of The Year''

 

[petee]

Throws up more questions than answers, TBF

Birds for Adoption
pebble not among them

 

[neonwilderness]

Nick Knowles just tweeted 40 times about cafe in sandwich row

 

[kabbes]

Nick Knowles just tweeted 40 times about cafe in sandwich row

“Was Nick Knowles right to criticise the cafe? Let us know your views in the comments below.”

Crucial stuff.

 

[T & P]

 

[cupid_stunt]

Blimey, The Argus, and a few posts above the Kent & Sussex Courier - both rags I've worked for.

I am fucking glad a got out of local papers before they turned seriously shit.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Worthing woman hospitalised after running herself over

How the fuck can anyone run themselves over?

And, yes, I've worked for the fucking Worthing Herald too.

 

[DotCommunist]

have enough baked spuds with tuna mayo on...brian harvey

 

[Chz]

Blimey, The Argus, and a few posts above the Kent & Sussex Courier - both rags I've worked for.

I am fucking glad a got out of local papers before they turned seriously shit.

I thought the Argus had been purposely a bit silly for quite a long time? Not Sun/DM silly, but light-hearted.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I thought the Argus had been purposely a bit silly for quite a long time? Not Sun/DM silly, but light-hearted.

It's a long time since I've worked for Newsquest, and I only ever see it on the news shelves, so no idea TBH.

 

[Opera Buffa]

 

[neonwilderness]

Man poos in front of house and then punches owner

 

[dessiato]

...
How the fuck can anyone run themselves over? ...

It's much easier than you'd think.

A few years ago I was on Daytona Beach. The car got a bit bogged down. I got out and dug away at the wheels. The car was an automatic, it was in gear. I came very, very close to running myself over.

 

[cupid_stunt]

It's much easier than you'd think.

A few years ago I was on Daytona Beach. The car got a bit bogged down. I got out and dug away at the wheels. The car was an automatic, it was in gear. I came very, very close to running myself over.

Yeah, but that's you, the most accident prone man in the world.