Liverpool 2013-14
- Thread starter TruXta
- Start date
sleaterkinney
Well-Known Member
How we've all missed the bitters witty repartee.
friedaweed
Me and me girl named Jane
They are quite funny at times though. The only problem I've found is consistently as a collective they can't laugh at themselves when it goes tits up for them. This is where I often find Bluenoses so similar to Manure fans. I suppose that's what happens when you now your history tells you you've been the second best team in city for so long. They forget to laugh at themselves
friedaweed
Me and me girl named Jane
I think he should take him to the barbers firstRodgers would take Pellegrini to the fucking cleaners
Dunno about the team fight though?
Corax
Luke 5:16
I'm here to confess to managerial jealousy. Not many Spurs fans were in agreement, but when we sacked Twitchy, Rodgers was my first choice. Reading about the way he'd schooled himself in coaching and management totally convinced me that he was the real deal. Martinez was my second choice.
The 'I told you so' feeling doesn't much alleviate the pain of seeing both their success.
Rather your mob winning it than the Nomads or the cash clubs though.
The 'I told you so' feeling doesn't much alleviate the pain of seeing both their success.
Rather your mob winning it than the Nomads or the cash clubs though.
Corax said:I'm here to confess to managerial jealousy. Not many Spurs fans were in agreement, but when we sacked Twitchy, Rodgers was my first choice. Reading about the way he'd schooled himself in coaching and management totally convinced me that he was the real deal. Martinez was my second choice.
The 'I told you so' feeling doesn't much alleviate the pain of seeing both their success.
Rather your mob winning it than the Nomads or the cash clubs though.
Still. Never mind eh? Should have a good season with Moyes.
goldenecitrone
post tenebras lux
Haven't they got enough star players, the cunts.
Corax
Luke 5:16
Rumours abounding about FdB. We could certainly do worse...
I'm still hoping we aim high and try for a Ramos/Santini co-manager dream team though.
Fedayn
Well-Known Member
As badly as Gerrard missed the ball on Sunday?
Fedayn
Well-Known Member
They are quite funny at times though. The only problem I've found is consistently as a collective they can't laugh at themselves when it goes tits up for them. This is where I often find Bluenoses so similar to Manure fans. I suppose that's what happens when you now your history tells you you've been the second best team in city for so long. They forget to laugh at themselves
Perhaps if you actually cracked a joke we might laugh. Go on, give it a try.... You never know.
friedaweed
Me and me girl named Jane
Just for you
A Burglary Was Recently Committed at Everton’s Ground and The Entire Contents of the Trophy Room Were Stolen. The Police are Looking for a Man With a Blue Carpet!
What is the difference between a tea bag and an everton fan? A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
What happens when Everton win the league? You turn off the playstation.
Q: What do you call 5 Everton fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Career Day
It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Everton.'
Reckless Driver
A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Everton supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Everton jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an Everton supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Everton supporter." "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Steven Pienaar
Steven Pienaar walks into a sperm donor bank in London... "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Steven "you should have my details on your computer". "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" "Why do I need help?" asks Steven. The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Primary
A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Everton supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Everton supporters, too. Not really knowing what a Everton supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Everton fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Everton supporter."
There was an old one my old fella used to tell us about someone hanging himself in the Kop and them quickly cutting him down before he turned blue but I can't remember how it goes.
Have a nice day now.
big eejit
She looks like Alan Gilzean
Just for you
A Burglary Was Recently Committed at Everton’s Ground and The Entire Contents of the Trophy Room Were Stolen. The Police are Looking for a Man With a Blue Carpet!
What is the difference between a tea bag and an everton fan? A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
What happens when Everton win the league? You turn off the playstation.
Q: What do you call 5 Everton fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Career Day
It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Everton.'
Reckless Driver
A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Everton supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Everton jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an Everton supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Everton supporter." "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Steven Pienaar
Steven Pienaar walks into a sperm donor bank in London... "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Steven "you should have my details on your computer". "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" "Why do I need help?" asks Steven. The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Primary
A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Everton supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Everton supporters, too. Not really knowing what a Everton supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Everton fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Everton supporter."
There was an old one my old fella used to tell us about someone hanging himself in the Kop and them quickly cutting him down before he turned blue but I can't remember how it goes.
Have a nice day now.
OK now I understand why you think Everton fans can't laugh at themselves. About as entertaining as watching Chelsea away.
Fedayn
Well-Known Member
Just for you
A Burglary Was Recently Committed at Everton’s Ground and The Entire Contents of the Trophy Room Were Stolen. The Police are Looking for a Man With a Blue Carpet!
What is the difference between a tea bag and an everton fan? A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
What happens when Everton win the league? You turn off the playstation.
Q: What do you call 5 Everton fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Career Day
It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Everton.'
Reckless Driver
A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Everton supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Everton jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an Everton supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Everton supporter." "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Steven Pienaar
Steven Pienaar walks into a sperm donor bank in London... "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Steven "you should have my details on your computer". "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" "Why do I need help?" asks Steven. The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Primary
A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Everton supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Everton supporters, too. Not really knowing what a Everton supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Everton fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Everton supporter."
There was an old one my old fella used to tell us about someone hanging himself in the Kop and them quickly cutting him down before he turned blue but I can't remember how it goes.
Have a nice day now.
You see that's the thing about jokes, I prefer them to be funny, but each to their own of course.
Q: What does an Liverpool supporter and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a Kopite.
Q: Why are Everton jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Kopites have started making them up themselves
Or
Good to see you cut and pasted from jokes4us....
friedaweed
Me and me girl named Jane
I thought the Pienaar one was good
Q. What's bitter and sniffs round the Liverpool thread?
Fedayn
Well-Known Member
Is Houllier back?I thought the Pienaar one was good
Q. What's bitter and sniffs round the Liverpool thread?
Ted Striker
Foot's on the other hand
I remember 9-0.
goldenecitrone
post tenebras lux
goldenecitrone
post tenebras lux
I'm giving our defence too much credit. 6-2 against Palace and 12-3 against Newcastle.
Last edited:
homophobia lolJust for you
A Burglary Was Recently Committed at Everton’s Ground and The Entire Contents of the Trophy Room Were Stolen. The Police are Looking for a Man With a Blue Carpet!
What is the difference between a tea bag and an everton fan? A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
What happens when Everton win the league? You turn off the playstation.
Q: What do you call 5 Everton fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Career Day
It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Everton.'
Reckless Driver
A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Everton supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Everton jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an Everton supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Everton supporter." "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Steven Pienaar
Steven Pienaar walks into a sperm donor bank in London... "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". "Yes" replies Steven "you should have my details on your computer". "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" "Why do I need help?" asks Steven. The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Primary
A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Everton supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Everton supporters, too. Not really knowing what a Everton supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Everton fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Everton supporter."
There was an old one my old fella used to tell us about someone hanging himself in the Kop and them quickly cutting him down before he turned blue but I can't remember how it goes.
Have a nice day now.
friedaweed
Me and me girl named Jane
but kudos to you
N_igma
Epistemic nuisance
Last game of the season.
It'll be truly remarkable if we win now however City have slipped up at home recently never say never.
Voley
🐀
I think yesterday was the last chance for City to slip up realistically. I was very hopeful after Barkley scored that fucking beaut of a goal mind. If Joe Hart hadn't got an important touch to that shot from Pienaar was it(?) things might have been different. It's a season that's been defined by twists so you never know but I think it's City's now.
mack
Fact Me Till I Fart
I think the fat lady may have started her first verse...I'm not terribly upset..we've had a great season, played arguably the most attractive football in Europe, I'll remember this campaign for a long long time.
The lads are coming to my neck of the woods tomorrow, tickets are like gold dust unfortunately so I'll just shout from my garden whilst watching on the lappy
Meanwhile Rafa won the copa Italia last night, quite impressed with Napoli, was a shame they got knocked out of the Champions league even after getting 12 points.
Suso managed to get himself sent off today in a 3-2 win and good ole momo sissoko helped levante to a 2-0 win against athletico Madrid.
Forgot to add Chelsea fans booing at the end of their game against Norwich.. Such classless cunts.
The lads are coming to my neck of the woods tomorrow, tickets are like gold dust unfortunately so I'll just shout from my garden whilst watching on the lappy
Meanwhile Rafa won the copa Italia last night, quite impressed with Napoli, was a shame they got knocked out of the Champions league even after getting 12 points.
Suso managed to get himself sent off today in a 3-2 win and good ole momo sissoko helped levante to a 2-0 win against athletico Madrid.
Forgot to add Chelsea fans booing at the end of their game against Norwich.. Such classless cunts.
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