If you were dictator of the UK
- Thread starter Edie
- Start date
MickiQ
In My Defence I was left Unsupervised
Sharks with lasers surely?
Going the gym this morning I have found a crime that isn't adequately punished in my opinion and would address if I were dictator for life
People who put the dumbbells back in the wrong slots would lose a finger each time they did, two fingers per crime for the lazy fuckers who just leave them lying around and don't put them back at all.
Steel Icarus
ersatz maven
I'd ban gyms too tbh
dylanredefined
Not a house elf a tiger
Military intervention in the cayman Islands. Other tax havens will fall into line
Saul Goodman
It's all good, man
Soylent Green, for the bankers.
LDC
On est tous des pangolins
Not immediately. They'll be a transition period while we get our agriculture and food production system in order. Then there won't be a banning as such, it'll just seem fucking ridiculous to fly some fruit half way around the world. And the people slaving away on industrial production of this fruit being paid poor wages will have long since deserted their shit jobs to also have better lives. You might get a penpal to send you, or a friendly traveler to bring you, a small package of your favourite exotic fruit, but the days of tasteless industrially produced bananas (or similar) in all the shops will have long past.
krtek a houby
Merry Xmas!
What's wrong with sand?
LDC
On est tous des pangolins
I think I was mashing up this thread, what to do about climate change (and possibly others) in my head with that answer!
likesfish
You can't park here sir
get free rpgs and allowed to kill one motorist a month without good reason
4x4 drivers within city limits is always a good reason.2 wheels good 4wheelss bads
I would definitely -
Ban all religious schools.
Promote secularism.
Ban private education.
Improve the education system and make it universal and free.
Make golf illegal and build useful things like housing on golf courses.
Liquidate the aristocracy and seize all of their capital - including land and property - for public good.
Seize all capital of all religious organisations (including land and property) and put it to good use. All religion/spirituality must now be matter for the individual.
Do something serious about landlords and housing, but I'm not sure quite what - ideas include rent cap and taxing lanlords, but also killing all landlords and seizing all private housing and lanlords' assets for social use.
Owning a manision would be illegal.
Being a millionaire would not be tolerated, let alone a billionaire earning over a certain amount would be heavily taxed- or not allowed.
More funding for NHS and improvement of infrastructure and service.
Build more hospitals.
Ban private healthcare.
Execute all people who work for Atos.
Wipe out all conservatives (I include centrists such as Lib Dems and Blairite types in that).
All living former Prime Ministers and government cabinet members to be slowly tortured to death.
Ban private/capitalist ownership of land and put all land to public/social use.
Legalise all drugs and treat drugs as a health issue. Has to be available at a reasonable price when sold.
Improve mental health services.
Improve, fund and expand infrastructure in general, including emergency services.
Promote collectivism and move against selfish individualism and greed.
Imprison all corporate leaders of big businesses and seize their capital - putting it to public use.
Introduce a citizens' income/UBI for all - strenghthen social safety net - social security. No more foodbanks.
Make buying social housing illegal.
No more war.
Help other countries with aid and healthcare as much as is possible and sensible, including during natural disasters, and especially poor countries.
Crack down hard on conspiraloons, religious fundamentalists/cults and cranks.
Ban/take over all corporate media.
Fund, develop and promote green technology.
Improve public transport system and encourage people to use it instead of owning a vehicle until reliable green vehicles are widely available.
Imprison and seize all capital of those working in and associated with the finance sector.
Make the right to die legal.
Encourage the arts and creativity - and fund it.
And I'd probably increase taxes, especially for high earners.
Ban all religious schools.
Promote secularism.
Ban private education.
Improve the education system and make it universal and free.
Make golf illegal and build useful things like housing on golf courses.
Liquidate the aristocracy and seize all of their capital - including land and property - for public good.
Seize all capital of all religious organisations (including land and property) and put it to good use. All religion/spirituality must now be matter for the individual.
Do something serious about landlords and housing, but I'm not sure quite what - ideas include rent cap and taxing lanlords, but also killing all landlords and seizing all private housing and lanlords' assets for social use.
Owning a manision would be illegal.
Being a millionaire would not be tolerated, let alone a billionaire earning over a certain amount would be heavily taxed- or not allowed.
More funding for NHS and improvement of infrastructure and service.
Build more hospitals.
Ban private healthcare.
Execute all people who work for Atos.
Wipe out all conservatives (I include centrists such as Lib Dems and Blairite types in that).
All living former Prime Ministers and government cabinet members to be slowly tortured to death.
Ban private/capitalist ownership of land and put all land to public/social use.
Legalise all drugs and treat drugs as a health issue. Has to be available at a reasonable price when sold.
Improve mental health services.
Improve, fund and expand infrastructure in general, including emergency services.
Promote collectivism and move against selfish individualism and greed.
Imprison all corporate leaders of big businesses and seize their capital - putting it to public use.
Introduce a citizens' income/UBI for all - strenghthen social safety net - social security. No more foodbanks.
Make buying social housing illegal.
No more war.
Help other countries with aid and healthcare as much as is possible and sensible, including during natural disasters, and especially poor countries.
Crack down hard on conspiraloons, religious fundamentalists/cults and cranks.
Ban/take over all corporate media.
Fund, develop and promote green technology.
Improve public transport system and encourage people to use it instead of owning a vehicle until reliable green vehicles are widely available.
Imprison and seize all capital of those working in and associated with the finance sector.
Make the right to die legal.
Encourage the arts and creativity - and fund it.
And I'd probably increase taxes, especially for high earners.
Last edited:
BigMoaner
What A Load of Old Bollocks
What about Cyclists? I haven't really contemplated it to be honest.
But they can be annoying. It's green though innit.
BigMoaner
What A Load of Old Bollocks
Cheers
kebabking
Not a Girly Swot, but I like them....
Well...
For me (perhaps surprisingly) being Dictator/El Presidente/Dread Lord and Mighty Hand of Death would be more about having a free hand to shape defence policy rather than a huge increase of the budget.
I'd start by looking at a map, and noticing that the country is surrounded by air and water, rather than land, and thinking that our security and trade - including food and energy security - is dependent on the control of the air and maritime domains, rather than the land domain.
That would lead to the emphasis of effort and resources going to anti-access and area-denial capabilities (keeping unwelcome folk at a very long arms length) so subs and escorts for the Navy built in an increased number of shipyards, and far more ASW and AWACS aircraft for the RAF to produce a wall of steel (or very expensive aluminium) from Newfoundland to the North Cape of Norway
I'd also significantly increase the strike capability - more Typhoon and F-35, with enough F-35 to keep both carriers in full business and a Group (100+) permanently based in Poland, Germany and the Baltic States as a very crunchy NATO commitment, with lots of tankers, AWACS and EW to support them.
I'd recalibrate land forces for three roles: a primarily A2-AD force (deployable air defence radars and long ranged surface to air missiles, and long ranged surface to surface missiles, with a lightish, very mobile fighting capability, with a logistics hub) who's role is about supporting the maritime domain by securing places like Iceland, north Norway, the Faeroes, Greenland, Cyprus, Gibraltar, the Falklands, etc.. by both denying them to an enemy and using them to prosecute action against an enemy.
The second role would be effectively the 3 CDO Bde/Future Commando Force - it sails around the world with the RN.
The third role would a very political force: a full, heavy, very punchy armoured division (40,000+) with 80+ attack helicopters based permanently in central/eastern Europe (alongside the F-35 force above) that would act as the absolute guarantor of European security on its Eastern border - it would also act as the UK's entry ticket to the 'best mates with Europe, and worthy of a close, happy, and mutually supporting political and economic relationship with the EU' club.
The big foreign policy thing would be total ban on any trade of any kind with China. If you think the Dragon may appear on your doorstep, you probably ought not to feed him for the next 20 years. China will get richer and more powerful on her own, not trading with China means she'll take longer to do it, and it will cost her more from internal growth, which increases the chances of internal discontent - which means more resources required for internal repression, and less available for tanks, aircraft and ships.
(And breathe...)
That seems like a lot of work. Can we not just chuck another few billion at Ajax?
kebabking
Not a Girly Swot, but I like them....
May as well have a £50 note powered BBQ in a skip....
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