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Crowdfunder launched to build a sea border wall in the English Channel to protect the UK from illegal immigrants

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hiraethified
This is rather excellent

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I am raising money to build a sea border wall in the English Channel to protect the United Kingdom from illegal immigrants.

My name is Simon Harris, and I am a concerned and proud British citizen.

In the last week or so, we have seen an unprecedented number of vessels crossing the English Channel, and it is clear that our border force needs help.

I have created a basic design for the border in the attached image, and I am proposing a border wall similar to what you would normally find in a swimming pool separating the lanes - except that this will be made out of a better quality plastic that is covered in a special adhesive that makes boats stick to it. Something like Bostik but a lot stronger.

I would probably need to hire a couple of hovercrafts to get it installed. This has been factored into the cost.

In the event that an illegal vessel comes into contact with it, it would remain stuck in place until the French navy arrives to rescue them, and if enough boats get stuck to it in one go, the whole thing could simply be towed back to the French coast.
The best bit

I know that you are all asking the same question - what happens to all of the legitimate boats trying to cross the sea?

My solution would be a special gap in the middle of the border that can be opened and closed by a border guard on duty, something like you get outside a nightclub where the bouncer unclips it to allow people in before closing it again.

I have calculated that I will need £10,000 for the proposed stretch of the sea, but any excess funds will be used to make the border even longer reaching along to the Solent or even Cornwall.

Our government won't step up, so it's time to take action!

Cheers, and God Save The Queen!
10/10- trolling. £390 raised so far :)



 
This is rather excellent

View attachment 226070


The best bit


10/10- trolling. £390 raised so far :)



The idea of having a couple of nightclub bouncers mid-Channel with a guest list allowing favoured patrons in and "your name's not down"ing all the rest is an imaginative touch.
 
  • Boris Cun...Johnson donated £5
    Well er... I do believe it's in GREAT Britain's best interests that one er... In order to STAY SAFE that er... Well Dominic said it was a good idea so very well here we are. Guffaw.
    • 29 mins
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    Boris Johnson donated £10
    As the UK's Prime Minister, I acknowledge that crossing the channel in a dingy is extremely dangerous. This wall and our plans to admit asylum seekers directly from France will be presented to parliament shortly. However, we are on our summer break…Read more
    • 30 mins
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Tommy (the twat) Robinson donated £10
    I’m a complete twat. And I hate the muslamics. Comin’ over ere after their town was bombed by a British made missile...... Seriously. Good stuff. This is genius. And actually a great cause. Well done that man.
    • 44 mins
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Nigel Farage donated £10
    Great idea. About time we properly took back control.
    • 1 hr
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Rohan Acharya donated £10
    I am brown but don't forget i woz born here. We can't just keep leeting more of me in or wot will I have left to eat? It's outgregious! Fuming.
    • 2 hrs
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Jem Tovey donated £5
    PROTECT ARE BOARDERS!
    • 3 hrs
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Zoe Harris donated £10
    Britun furst for a change send erm back to we’re they cum from :mad: :mad: :mad: Seriously though keep up the good work Si!!!
    • 3 hrs
  • DefaultAvatar.65712475de0674c9f775ae3b64e7c69f.svg

    Duncan Corps donated £50
    TRU PATIROTS NO ALL LIFES MATTER



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i think it's a great idea. it will allow testing of materials before the construction of the falkland sound barriers.

and from the pov of our continental friends it will reduce the number of people trying to sneak into france, belgium and holland from the uk
 
I wish that would be the case, but I fear Trump is now going to demand an American firm builds this Wall as part of the tremendous new UK-US trade agreement he's offering us. Since they've alreagy got fresh experience on such projects and all...
british walls for british former people :mad:

unlike the americans so many of whom are former british people or descendants thereof
 
Not sure where to put this, so here'll do. Gives a good summary of how we got where we are now.


Desperate refugees crammed into cockle-shell boats landing on the shingle beaches of the south Kent coast are easily portrayed as invaders. Anti-immigrant demonstrators were exploiting such fears last weekend as they blockaded the main highway into Dover Port in order “to protect Britain’s borders”. Meanwhile, the home secretary, Priti Patel, blames the French for not doing enough to stop the flow of refugees across the Channel.

Refugees attract much attention on the last highly visible stages of their journeys between France and Britain. But there is absurdly little interest in why they endure such hardships, risking detention or death.
There is an instinctive assumption in the west that it is perfectly natural for people to flee their own failed states (the failure supposedly brought on by self-inflicted violence and corruption) to seek refuge in the better-run, safer and more prosperous countries.

But what we are really seeing in those pathetic half-swamped rubber boats bobbing up and down in the Channel are the thin end of the wedge of a vast exodus of people brought about by military intervention by the US and its allies. As a result of their “global war on terror”, launched following the al-Qaeda attacks in the US on 11 September 2001, no less than 37 million people have been displaced from their homes, according to a revelatory report published this week by Brown University.

The study, part of a project called “Costs of War”, is the first time that this violence-driven mass population movement has been calculated using the latest data. Its authors conclude that “at least 37 million people have fled their homes in the eight most violent wars the US military has launched or participated in since 2001”. Of these, at least 8 million are refugees who fled abroad, and 29 million are internally displaced persons (IDPs) who have taken flight inside their own countries. The eight wars examined by the report are in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Libya, Somalia, northwest Pakistan and the Philippines.
 
He has another one....

Nasty weather today, and so instead of going out and spending the £16,460 that has been donated so far on copies of The Sun to boost their revenue and circulation, and hopefully helping to save them from financial ruin, I decided to just write Rupert Murdoch a cheque instead.

However, I then realised that we shouldn’t be mailing things at the moment and creating extra work and health and safety risks for the Royal Mail, and so I tried to get his bank account details for an electronic BACS transfer.

I couldn’t find them, and he wouldn’t return my calls, but I do have the bank account details for a fund supporting Essex food banks, so I’ll just give them the money instead and try again tomorrow.
Splendid.
 
Superb trolling there !

(some very inventive fake IDs on all of them).

guy's a genius as the funds are actually going to proper good causes.
(and he's likely to be getting as much, if not more, than the normal sort of tin-rattling methods could produce).
 
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