littlebabyjesus
one of Maxwell's demons
No.
A third of male university students say they would rape a woman if there no were no consequences
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8ball
Decolonise colons!
I think if you put it the other way round there might be some limited truth there.
You said 'how much of a boner do they seriously believe they could maintain in the presence of...(protest)..., thereby implying that few could manage it. Where did I say I believe that rape is always about power and never sex? I don't advocate that argument. If rape is about theft, what exactly has been stolen? Why do you also assume I might have a problem with consensual 'sexy power play'? I don't think there's anything wrong with that either.
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wobbly
the bit that is the key point to this study is that there is a subset of men who could see themselves behaving in a way that would legally make them rapists, who didn't see themselves as rapists. this was those who were prepared to use coercive measures to obtain a lack of resistance to them, something they could pretend was proper consent. that made them in their eyes not-rapists. because they see resistance as part of the game of man as chaser and woman as prey. she's supposed to say no at first, he's supposed to push to overcome that. not necessarily by pinning her down against her active resistance, but by creating a situation where she isn't actively resisting him.
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wobbly
and they discarded responses that were nonsensical
camouflage
gaslit at scale.
It's a matter of the description of experience, I'm saying I don't agree that people who find power a turn-on (or would use the word or one that can be associated with it to describe some aspect of their sexual experience) are therefore rapey, as if some aspect of 'power' in sex is the definitive characteristic of rapism.
The definitive characteristic of rape isn't about 'power' or any over of the many various words one could use to describe some experiential or emotional aspect of sexual experience or sexual relationship.
There are many ways of exploring 'power' or other things in sex that tell us nothing about what rape is in essence.
In my opinion rape is about theft, the taking by force or coercion or deceit that which hasn't been given. Perhaps this is a subtle difference from what is meant with the whole 'rape is about power' thing. If I were to enjoy some leggy blonde in a cat-suit lording it over me of an evening, that would be a whole lot of sex an power going on without rape having anything to do with it.
There's probably a venn diagram somewhere in what I'm struggling to say here and I'm fairly sure it looks like a figure-eight rather than a fried-egg.
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camouflage
gaslit at scale.
Yes I did imply that a minority of men could manage it, perhaps because I like to believe that most people aren't rapists. Fair enough for the rest of what you said. And rape being about theft means theft of sexual-access, theft of a persons choice, the theft of power...
Apparently the word 'rape' used to (chillingly) be described as a transgression of a father or husbands 'property'. I certainly don't mean that.
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camouflage
gaslit at scale.
Ah, would this be the 'rape culture' I've been hearing about of late?
8ball
Decolonise colons!
They'd still be knobs (pretty mild language, considering) if only 5% wouldn't.
frogwoman
No amount of cajolery...
I'd
I also want to believe most people aren't rapists but this paedophile and rape chat makes me seriously worried. If one in three blokes is a rapist (and possibly a similar proportion of gay women, who knows, I have certainly come across women with a similar lack of respect for anyone's boundaries although not been raped by one) then how the hell are you supposed to tell as they don't all walk around with a sign on their head?
The idea that literally anyone you know could be a rapist makes me really scared. No wonder nobody wants to believe that it happens because it's so terrifying.
I also want to believe most people aren't rapists but this paedophile and rape chat makes me seriously worried. If one in three blokes is a rapist (and possibly a similar proportion of gay women, who knows, I have certainly come across women with a similar lack of respect for anyone's boundaries although not been raped by one) then how the hell are you supposed to tell as they don't all walk around with a sign on their head?
The idea that literally anyone you know could be a rapist makes me really scared. No wonder nobody wants to believe that it happens because it's so terrifying.
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
Oh of course not.
To be honest people took that pretty seriously and didn't say anything more than 'it was a rape case'. I think we are allowed that much.
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
camouflage
gaslit at scale.
Don't be scared, fear is a massive and useful industry, but just in case- learn yerself some Krav Maga.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
Vanishingly unlikely, compared with potential rapists.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
Still, literally anyone.
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
What is your point? It's rational for women to be cautious around strange men (and sometimes men they already know) because there is a high incidence in general of rapey behaviour. As for potential paedophiles, parents tend to be very cautious when entrusting a child to someone's care. The irony is that most rapes are by acquaintances and most paedophile attacks are familial.
Edited to correct final sentence.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
Oh, I get it, you're a nice guy.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
Oh, I get it, you're a nice guy.
And thus we illustrate the Dunning-Kruger effect for the twelfth time today...
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
Go on, I'll bite. Are you talking statistics or something more subtle?
8ball
Decolonise colons!
I'm very broadly trying to make the point that this study does not in any way add credence to the idea that living in a state of continual omni-directional fear is a productive life strategy. What it does do is point towards certain cultural problems that we already know about, and which very unfortunately don't seem to be getting better in a hurry.
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
True, but we can also say that potential rapists are vanishingly rare in comparison to common thieves. Comparing different types of criminal behaviour seldom yields any results worth bothering with.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
True, but we can also say that potential rapists are vanishingly rare in comparison to common thieves. Comparing different types of criminal behaviour seldom yields any results worth bothering with.
Potential rapists are incredibly common!
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
Personally I'd replace "most" with "a majority", because most implies almost all.
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
Potential rapists are incredibly common!
They're 49% of the population of the UK, whereas potential common thieves comprise 100% of the population.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
I always use 'most' to mean 'more than half' - is that not correct?
Thank-you for your excellent contribution to this thread. We appreciate your efforts anyway.
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
I'm sure all women reading this will be very grateful to you for putting them right on their irrational fears.
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