im (still) hungover. Explain this is a little bit
In the rush to avoid social reductionism, there is a danger in adopting a individualised view of the self, in which the individuals simply manifest context-free choice. There are many ways out of this dualism, based around the ideas that (a) society is crucial to self-formation (either by mediating its creation ("culture in mind") or by determining the nature of interactions ("mind in culture")); and (b) so are specific personal relationships and events, which have the impact of creating some kind of internal frame of reference for how to interact with that society. In other words, what matters is how the personal biography intersects with the impacts being created by society. I've also seen all this referred to as the intrapsychic (entirely personal), interpsychic (social interaction) and extrapsychic (impact of wider society) domains.
The ways that all these things actually
happen is hotly contested, and I could point to numerous parts of psychology that all angrily disagree with each other about this. However, of particular interest for this specific case might be a "psychosocial approach", which combines psychodynamic ideas of how crucial relationships become embedded into future interactions with a sociocultural approach to how the self is formed within a society. The reason this approach is pertinent is because it has become a way in which lone wolf terrorism in particular has been analysed. Search for "psychosocial study lone wolf terrorism" and you'll find all sorts.
Meloy and Yakeley (2014) --
Sci-Hub | The Violent True Believer as a “Lone Wolf” - Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Terrorism | 10.1002/bsl.2109 -- was one of the first papers I read on this. It's pretty readable, if you fancy it. They employed the ideas of splitting (an internal process in which good and bad parts of us are "split" as an internal defence mechanism) and projection (a process by which the split bad part can then be viewed as external and attacked) in their psychosocial investigation into
why some individuals become “lone wolf” terrorists, while others from the same environment
do not. They first used social psychological theories of group identity to discuss the way in which extremist identities become formed
in general. However, even whilst acknowledging these processes (and the social, religious, and political forces that underly the formation of extremist ideologies), they go on to point out that “in the final analysis [terrorist acts] are personal... and the individual’s own mind is what differentiates him from the many who are protestors or extremists who do not carry out acts of violence.”
Meloy and Yakeley's explanation is that whilst terrorist violence certainly conveys conscious political or religious messages (which makes critical the social environment that creates the belief that the violence is necessary), it also communicates unconscious meanings (which are derived from personal biography). Interestingly, Meloy and Yakeley also identified that lone wolf terrorists typically exhibit vicarious, not personal, experience of the group trauma that frames their act. In other words, they typically do not desire retribution for personal ill-treatment but, rather, identify with a wronged group and then project both personal and group failings onto third parties. Although the paper is about religious fundamentalist terrorism, I think it's still very relevant to incels.
Anyway, regardless of whether or not this specifically is the right approach, it certainly seems important to me that both social context and personal biography are taken into account when considering this.