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Stabbings in Leicester Square 12/08/24

I'm not sure that men in general have any understanding of just how terrifying this sort of behaviour is to us. Yes, we know NAMALT, of course we do. But you know, we have to live our daily lives with the constant knowledge that at any time, in any place, it doesn't matter how daylight and public it is, or how in your own home with the door locked it is, any one of you might suddenly grab us or our little daughter and violently try to murder us. We are not ever 'safe'.
 
I'm not sure that men in general have any understanding of just how terrifying this sort of behaviour is to us. Yes, we know NAMALT, of course we do. But you know, we have to live our daily lives with the constant knowledge that at any time, in any place, it doesn't matter how daylight and public it is, or how in your own home with the door locked it is, any one of you might suddenly grab us or our little daughter and violently try to murder us. We are not ever 'safe'.
Sobering :(

I learn so much from this forum. I learn the same, maybe more, from real life cos I’m blessed that 80% of the most important and influential people in my life are women.

I listen to them and I listen to youse. I don’t post much on the threads because I don’t think I ever have much to add as others say it better.

I posted before on the Sarah Everard thread I lived a very violent life, typical type of a typical type of man, it was Mrs Numbers who changed me, mostly because of her sharing her experiences with men in her life and shit she had to deal with, it was hard to change.

In the 35 years with her I’ve pushed her once and that was only because she arrived at my flat having had a situation with some toe rag, I pushed her out of my way so I could go find and harm the fucker.

I still regret that.

I know and youse know that it isn’t all men, but it is men, I’ll never stop listening.

Sorry, irrelevant post.
 
I'm not sure that men in general have any understanding of just how terrifying this sort of behaviour is to us. Yes, we know NAMALT, of course we do. But you know, we have to live our daily lives with the constant knowledge that at any time, in any place, it doesn't matter how daylight and public it is, or how in your own home with the door locked it is, any one of you might suddenly grab us or our little daughter and violently try to murder us. We are not ever 'safe'.

This, basically.
If a man I don't know smiles at me or starts a conversation with me, I don't know whether he might be OK (and tbf most blokes are, no need for anyone especially males to push the NAMALT point over and over because we all know that), or whether he might be some misogynistic nutjob who is going to feel rejected that I don't return the smile or want to engage in conversation to the point that he might become abusive or violent.

I've had only recently a situation in which I felt threatened and experienced verbal abuse and the potential of physical threat because I briefly engaged in conversation with a man at a bar and then he wanted to get me to leave with him to have sex (and seemed to think that was a natural step on from me smiling and being polite to him) and thankfully we were in a public bar with other people and bar staff, but he still verbally abused and nagged me for 10 minutes before being removed from the premises by the bar staff, and because the pub it occurred in is at the end of our (very quiet) road, I've been a bit nervous ever since about running into him again.

The NAMALT thing sounds fine until you're actually threatened with sexual harassment or violence or worse. If you don't know someone, then you don't know whether they Are Like That or Not.
 
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I'm not sure that men in general have any understanding of just how terrifying this sort of behaviour is to us. Yes, we know NAMALT, of course we do. But you know, we have to live our daily lives with the constant knowledge that at any time, in any place, it doesn't matter how daylight and public it is, or how in your own home with the door locked it is, any one of you might suddenly grab us or our little daughter and violently try to murder us. We are not ever 'safe'.
I don’t really understand. By this logic, all men should be feeling the same way, seeing as men attack more men than women? I am more likely to be a victim of male violence than you.
 
Men don't tend to attack and or kill other men just because they're men, though.

Having said that, I think men need to sort out their violence towards other men too. I'm sure plenty of men do fear being attacked, and not by women.
 
You are more likely to have a fair chance of physically defending yourself from it than me.
Not sure anyone can defend themselves from a random knife attack unfortunately.

Acts of violence like this remain extremely uncommon thankfully.
 
maybe you should ask matthew szejnrok


or me, for that matter.

jesus fuck, it's time to leave this board.
No-one is saying domestic violence doesn't happen the other way round. However in England and Wales at least:

'By sex, 7 in 10 victims of domestic homicide were women (70%) and 3 in 10 were men (30%). Of the 100 domestic homicides, 68 victims were killed by a partner or ex-partner (down from 77), 18 were killed by a parent, son or daughter (down from 43) and 14 were killed by another family member (down from 17).'

Almost half (45%) of all adult female homicide victims were killed in a domestic homicide (70). Of these 70 female victims, all but one were killed by a male suspect (Appendix table 34).

In contrast, males were much less likely to be the victim of a domestic homicide, with only 8% (30) of male homicides being domestic-related in the year ending March 2023, a similar proportion to the previous year.'


 
maybe you should ask matthew szejnrok


or me, for that matter.

jesus fuck, it's time to leave this board.

Do you not understand that this is a rare case, a bit of an outlier, but women are killed by men they know daily?
What is the point you are trying to make?
 
I don’t really understand. By this logic, all men should be feeling the same way, seeing as men attack more men than women? I am more likely to be a victim of male violence than you.
a) you really need to learn when to stop digging.

b) you are applying cold logic to a survival situation. If a woman is walking down the road, and becomes aware that a man is following her, it really doesn't matter if not all men are going to grab her (or worse) - it's the possibility that he is that matters. You (and I) both lack the subjective experience of what that might feel like to be able to tell women how they should feel in such a situation.
 
I don’t really understand. By this logic, all men should be feeling the same way, seeing as men attack more men than women? I am more likely to be a victim of male violence than you.
You said you wouldn't derail the thread further.
 
I don’t really understand. By this logic, all men should be feeling the same way, seeing as men attack more men than women? I am more likely to be a victim of male violence than you.
I’ve lived in a few dodgy areas in my time, and there have been times and places where I’ve felt fear or discomfort walking on my own. I’ve even been set upon by a mob in broad daylight walking round to a mates place just for looking at someone the wrong way (mainly because they were throwing rocks at me).

But these moments are fleeting, haven’t really left scars. For women that fear is constant, it’s there all the fucking time even in ‘safe’ environments like at work, in a nice pub, jogging in the park in the middle of the day, walking the dog etc. I think it’s important for men to understand this and accept that this isn’t OK.

Thinking it’s the same as worrying about the risk of a beating just being in a taxi queue on a Friday night or whatever is downplaying this, you don’t generally feel frightened at work or when out shopping.
 
I'm not sure that men in general have any understanding of just how terrifying this sort of behaviour is to us. Yes, we know NAMALT, of course we do. But you know, we have to live our daily lives with the constant knowledge that at any time, in any place, it doesn't matter how daylight and public it is, or how in your own home with the door locked it is, any one of you might suddenly grab us or our little daughter and violently try to murder us. We are not ever 'safe'.
This. I know NAMALT. I know statistically, I'm more likely to be raped by someone I know. love my brother and stepdad and male relatives and friends to bits. But I've had men making me extremely uncomfortable and been worried a couple of times that they'd turn nasty, and one did. Didn't stab me but was certainly very abusive and aggressive. And I feel like if I say anything, I'll get called classist cos some of them were homeless guys or beggars. But when random men follow me, or come up to me, or ask me for things, I freeze and panic. I had one guy at a bus stop tell me he'd just got out of prison - what do you say to that?

One reason why I don't go to football matches as much is because of the cokeheads and the violence. I do not feel safe in big crowds of men. Especially when they're aggressive and drunk or drugged up. And a lot of men just don't get it and think women like me are misandrists or whatever.

Epona is bang on here.

If a man I don't know smiles at me or starts a conversation with me, I don't know whether he might be OK (and tbf most blokes are, no need for anyone especially males to push the NAMALT point over and over because we all know that), or whether he might be some misogynistic nutjob who is going to feel rejected that I don't return the smile or want to engage in conversation to the point that he might become abusive or violent.
 
maybe you should ask matthew szejnrok


or me, for that matter.

jesus fuck, it's time to leave this board.

I like you petee but you do seem to get angry with people pointing out what men do. Or are capable of doing.

It's important for men to engage in these threads, especially in light of the recent horrific attacks - but going for the whataboutery angle probably isn't the best way?

Anyway. Hope you don't leave urban. Maybe just take a breather for a couple of weeks. It does wonders.
 
Look. One of the most horrific murder cases I've read about was a woman - Katherine Knight, that Aussie woman who butchered her partner and cooked his body. It doesn't change the fact that statistically, men kill women far more than women kill men. There is no female equivalent of Andrew Tate, we don't have little girls sexually assaulting grown male teachers or trying to control the boys in their class and tell them to make them sandwiches and treat them like chattel. And when we've got a man stabbing three little girls to death and then ANOTHER man stabbing a little girl, going 'but women do it too' is a huge kick in the teeth and it honestly feels like some left-wing men believe misogyny isn't real, and you expect this kind of crap from the right but not from people who are supposed to be on your side.
 
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Look. One of the most horrific murder cases I've read about was a woman - that Aussie who butchered her partner and cooked his body. It doesn't change the fact that statistically, men kill women far more than women kill men. And when we've got a man stabbing three little girls to death and then ANOTHER man stabbing a woman and her kid, going 'but women do it too' is a huge kick in the teeth and it honestly feels like some left-wing men believe misogyny isn't real, and you expect this kind of crap from the right but not from people who are supposed to be on your side
Just to be clear that the Leicester square mother not stabbed, so pls could we keep to the facts which are in any case appalling enough.
 
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