PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[PR1Berske]

View attachment 331859

It's a bit "our first time at the Fringe" for me.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

well avoid that train then.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

They've been doing it a while it seems. Projects

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

So the parliamentary under-secretary of state at the Department for Education. Impressive linkedin.

 

[Pickman's model]

One of my colleagues left recently and in her farewell email wrote a poem to say goodbye. It was absolutely bloody atrocious. I'll see if it will bear reproduction after identifying details removed

It’s Friday and it’s the afternoon…. Here’s a farewell rhyme from me to you:

Spoiler

As I reflected upon the past four years,
I had to wipe away the tears,
For the time has come to bid farewell,
It’s time to say farewell.

Another new chapter is dawning,
And a new era is forming,
I thank my colleagues for all their best wishes,
Thank you for conveying your well wishes.

I am astounded by the monetary contributions,
Oh my…..
What a way to say goodbye.
Thank you all from me to you,
From me to you,
I thank you.

So, where does Patricia go from here?
Go from here, go from here.
Where does Patricia now go from here?

Well I hear…
What do you hear?
The suspense I can no longer bear.
Further Education is what I hear.

What will her role be?
I wonder what it will be?
Between you and me.
Director of HR for a different company.
Oh I see.

Twenty plus years in the making,
With Patricia there is no faking.

Dedicated and hard working right to the end.
Loyal, Professional, knowledgeable, resilient and credible,
That’s incredible.
Hold on is that Patricia for the first time blowing her own trumpet?
I think this time it might be.
Yes and finally..
Well this fills me with glee.
She’s always too modest for me,
Always playing things down and sometimes to her own detriment you see.

But wait!!
Enough of this silly rhyme,
I’m sure you don’t even have all this time,
And some of it is written in 1st, 2nd and 3rd person,
The grammatical errors.
Orthographical errors …..oh my,
All I wanted to say was thank you and goodbye,
Besides, that well it doesn’t even all make sense or rhyme.

So, now I am signing off ,
I don’t want to get all soft,
I bid you farewell,
So long and farewell,
Library colleagues I bid you farewell.

Ax^ mango5

 

[billy_bob]

Holy fucking christ.

I hope you moved the library and didn't leave a forwarding address, to make sure she can't even drop in for a visit now and then.

 

[flypanam]

Did every dept get one or was the library singled out for special treatment?

 

[Pickman's model]

Did every dept get one or was the library singled out for special treatment?

think it was just us

 

[flypanam]

think it was just us

Ouch. I’ve been saying for an age library staff need to be less nice and more aggressively mean.

 

[teuchter]

urban75, urban75,
you really
make me feel alive.
your indignant replies
bring tears of joy
to my eyes.

typing out any old nonse-
-ence
will still get response
-es.

words written in jest
will be taken at their most literal-est.
this probably also applies
to poems from colleagues
received by humorless members
of monothought cliques

but is this a leaving poem, they wonder?
no.
I'm staying for ever
and ever and ever.

 

[Pickman's model]

urban75, urban75,
you really
make me feel alive.
your indignant replies
bring tears of joy
to my eyes.

typing out any old nonse-
-ence
will still get response
-es.

words written in jest
will be taken at their most literal-est.
this probably also applies
to poems from colleagues
received by humorless members
of monothought cliques

but is this a leaving poem, they wonder?
no.
I'm staying for ever
and ever and ever.

there once was a loser named teuchter

 

[billy_bob]

Anything for contrarianism, eh. If before breakfast time three other members of this site came out against fixing puppies to walls, teuchter'd be down B&Q for more nails by lunchtime.

 

[existentialist]

Anything for contrarianism, eh. If before breakfast time three other members of this site came out against fixing puppies to walls, teuchter'd be down B&Q for more nails by lunchtime.

TBF, he'd probably argue that screws provide a better fixing. And he'd be right.

 

[teuchter]

B&Q is a bit of a rip off and you will get better value by going to Screwfix, which by the way is owned by the same parent company.

 

[billy_bob]

The Screwfix Catalogue would've been a great name for an online dating site if it wasn't already taken.

 

[Pickman's model]

B&Q is a bit of a rip off and you will get better value by going to Screwfix, which by the way is owned by the same parent company.

Loquacious today I see

 

[spitfire]

TBF, he'd probably argue that screws provide a better fixing. And he'd be right.

If there’s one thing you can say about teuchter is that he knows his fixings.

 

[mango5]

Loquacious today I see

Channelling Yoda you are

 

[AnandLeo]

The conservative party sacked the Prime Minister Boris Johnson not because of failure to govern the country or the poor management of the Brexit or botching the pandemic control or mismanagement of the economy during a global energy and food crisis attributed to the war in Ukraine, or failure in the international relations. The misdemeanour of his staff and cohorts incriminated him as leader of the pack. Can the Prime Minister manage the behaviour of the Downing Street staff or the MPs of the conservative party? His job is to run the country, steer and direct the policy-making, development planning, finance, and international relations as stated in the election manifesto. He will delegate these responsibilities to his Ministers and civil servants. However, he has to agree and accede with the strategies and be responsible for the outcomes. I think the political parties in power of the government need to have procedures to deal with inappropriate behaviours and practices of the public servants without political travesty and sacrifice of the Prime Minister, unless of course he or she is incorrigible, and is the cause of all the ills and misconduct of the political office. There are parliamentary committees grilling the ministers and officials to uphold the integrity of the government office. These procedures have circumvented the current allegations. The current situation is a result of personal misbehaviours and misdemeanour. Changing Prime Minister in the middle of a government term for the reasons of peoples’ misdemeanour is a malady. It disrupts and retards development and economy. There should be other means of jurisdiction and reforming the misconduct in the government office taking into consideration of true perspective of the mission and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office.

 

[bimble]

The conservative party sacked the Prime Minister Boris Johnson not because of failure to govern the country or the poor management of the Brexit or botching the pandemic control or mismanagement of the economy during a global energy and food crisis attributed to the war in Ukraine, or failure in the international relations. The misdemeanour of his staff and cohorts incriminated him as leader of the pack. Can the Prime Minister manage the behaviour of the Downing Street staff or the MPs of the conservative party? His job is to run the country, steer and direct the policy-making, development planning, finance, and international relations as stated in the election manifesto. He will delegate these responsibilities to his Ministers and civil servants. However, he has to agree and accede with the strategies and be responsible for the outcomes. I think the political parties in power of the government need to have procedures to deal with inappropriate behaviours and practices of the public servants without political travesty and sacrifice of the Prime Minister, unless of course he or she is incorrigible, and is the cause of all the ills and misconduct of the political office. There are parliamentary committees grilling the ministers and officials to uphold the integrity of the government office. These procedures have circumvented the current allegations. The current situation is a result of personal misbehaviours and misdemeanour. Changing Prime Minister in the middle of a government term for the reasons of peoples’ misdemeanour is a malady. It disrupts and retards development and economy. There should be other means of jurisdiction and reforming the misconduct in the government office taking into consideration of true perspective of the mission and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office.

Did you just write this thing?

 

[not-bono-ever]

Tldr

 

[teuchter]

Did you just write this thing?

It doesn't rhyme.

 

[kabbes]

Did you just write this thing?

I imagine him walking into a room and just saying it in one go without pausing for breath and then walking straight out again.

 

[Ax^]

The conservative party sacked the Prime Minister Boris Johnson not because of failure to govern the country or the poor management of the Brexit or botching the pandemic control or mismanagement of the economy during a global energy and food crisis attributed to the war in Ukraine, or failure in the international relations. The misdemeanour of his staff and cohorts incriminated him as leader of the pack. Can the Prime Minister manage the behaviour of the Downing Street staff or the MPs of the conservative party? His job is to run the country, steer and direct the policy-making, development planning, finance, and international relations as stated in the election manifesto. He will delegate these responsibilities to his Ministers and civil servants. However, he has to agree and accede with the strategies and be responsible for the outcomes. I think the political parties in power of the government need to have procedures to deal with inappropriate behaviours and practices of the public servants without political travesty and sacrifice of the Prime Minister, unless of course he or she is incorrigible, and is the cause of all the ills and misconduct of the political office. There are parliamentary committees grilling the ministers and officials to uphold the integrity of the government office. These procedures have circumvented the current allegations. The current situation is a result of personal misbehaviours and misdemeanour. Changing Prime Minister in the middle of a government term for the reasons of peoples’ misdemeanour is a malady. It disrupts and retards development and economy. There should be other means of jurisdiction and reforming the misconduct in the government office taking into consideration of true perspective of the mission and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office.

tbf paragraphs.

also they fired him because he made them tell his lies about not knowing a staff member had a history of touching up men

women folk was fine but men and they turned against him

think about it what you will

 

[Puddy_Tat]

may already have been said, but it has occurred to me that i wasn't expecting that twat johnson's ousting to be due to someone else's sexual impropriety...

 

[two sheds]

Johnson survives vonc attempt

Boris Johnson blocks no confidence vote in his own government tomorrow

The Opposition planned to table the motion today - with a vote on Wednesday - after it emerged the PM would cling to office until September 5

www.mirror.co.uk

 

[Calamity1971]

Johnson survives vonc attempt

Boris Johnson blocks no confidence vote in his own government tomorrow

The Opposition planned to table the motion today - with a vote on Wednesday - after it emerged the PM would cling to office until September 5

www.mirror.co.uk

The wet wipe probably knew he wouldn't get the vote. Either that, or he's even more incompetent than we thought.
Thangham on newsnight calling them chicken, and calling her constituentsy ' my patch' like a gangsta. Cringeometer maxed out. .

 

[Nine Bob Note]

may already have been said, but it has occurred to me that i wasn't expecting that twat johnson's ousting to be due to someone else's sexual impropriety...

He's working on it. Seven weeks is a long time in Johnson's house. No way Pincher keeps the match ball.

 

[existentialist]

The conservative party sacked the Prime Minister Boris Johnson not because of failure to govern the country or the poor management of the Brexit or botching the pandemic control or mismanagement of the economy during a global energy and food crisis attributed to the war in Ukraine, or failure in the international relations. The misdemeanour of his staff and cohorts incriminated him as leader of the pack. Can the Prime Minister manage the behaviour of the Downing Street staff or the MPs of the conservative party? His job is to run the country, steer and direct the policy-making, development planning, finance, and international relations as stated in the election manifesto. He will delegate these responsibilities to his Ministers and civil servants. However, he has to agree and accede with the strategies and be responsible for the outcomes. I think the political parties in power of the government need to have procedures to deal with inappropriate behaviours and practices of the public servants without political travesty and sacrifice of the Prime Minister, unless of course he or she is incorrigible, and is the cause of all the ills and misconduct of the political office. There are parliamentary committees grilling the ministers and officials to uphold the integrity of the government office. These procedures have circumvented the current allegations. The current situation is a result of personal misbehaviours and misdemeanour. Changing Prime Minister in the middle of a government term for the reasons of peoples’ misdemeanour is a malady. It disrupts and retards development and economy. There should be other means of jurisdiction and reforming the misconduct in the government office taking into consideration of true perspective of the mission and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office.

PoziDriv twin-thread drywall, I think. 50mm.

 

[Pickman's model]

The conservative party sacked the Prime Minister Boris Johnson not because of failure to govern the country or the poor management of the Brexit or botching the pandemic control or mismanagement of the economy during a global energy and food crisis attributed to the war in Ukraine, or failure in the international relations. The misdemeanour of his staff and cohorts incriminated him as leader of the pack. Can the Prime Minister manage the behaviour of the Downing Street staff or the MPs of the conservative party? His job is to run the country, steer and direct the policy-making, development planning, finance, and international relations as stated in the election manifesto. He will delegate these responsibilities to his Ministers and civil servants. However, he has to agree and accede with the strategies and be responsible for the outcomes. I think the political parties in power of the government need to have procedures to deal with inappropriate behaviours and practices of the public servants without political travesty and sacrifice of the Prime Minister, unless of course he or she is incorrigible, and is the cause of all the ills and misconduct of the political office. There are parliamentary committees grilling the ministers and officials to uphold the integrity of the government office. These procedures have circumvented the current allegations. The current situation is a result of personal misbehaviours and misdemeanour. Changing Prime Minister in the middle of a government term for the reasons of peoples’ misdemeanour is a malady. It disrupts and retards development and economy. There should be other means of jurisdiction and reforming the misconduct in the government office taking into consideration of true perspective of the mission and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office.

Are you paid by the word?