PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[existentialist]

My 5 year old grandson is better at denying his misdeeds than Boris that was pathetic even by his standards. If there hadn't been a party they could have just come out and said straightaway. "There wasn't a party, this was some stupid joke made at the press conference briefing that has gotten out of hand, here are the attendance logs for the day of the so called party"
As it is every time one of the daft fuckers opens their mouth they dig the hole even deeper. "There was no party but if there was all the rules were followed" come on that's pathetic.
I'm expecting any moment mobile phone footage of Boris hitting on some hapless female staffer.

My guess is that the Real Truth is even worse. There's probably been dozens of parties, and the one everyone's getting het up about probably wasn't the main/worst/most egregious example. He's probably still sniggering at us for thinking we're onto something, when he knows that it's just a fractal dead cat. I hope I'm right.

 

[Serene]

Appaently there was a massive party in my house last night while I was asleep and I had no idea.

 

[Badgers]

It’s the brazenness of it. At PMQs lunchtime yesterday Johnson said he was going to hand over evidence to the met so they had to rush to say they would not be investigating, to make sure there’d be no evidence . Idk maybe it’s naive but am surprised by the absolute in your faceness of the mets mad statement.
If that Twitter lawyer is right, then it’s because the consequences of investigating would potentially be pretty serious not just for those who attended but for those who lied to parliament about it.

House of cards built on straw?

 

[eatmorecheese]

He doesn't really give a damn if the general public thinks he's a lying piece of shit. His conscience (if he has one) is untroubled. He is only unsettled by risks to himself, meaning the usual Tory tradition of regicide perpetrated by the parliamentary party.

The rest of it? He thinks it is funny. Especially after a decent bottle or two and a few lines of chang.

 

[eatmorecheese]

The checks and balances are totally absent on this one. Politicians, civil servants, spads, police, security, journalists. They all come out of it looking bad and are colluding with each other.

And how the fuck has that Professor Yaffle cunt Rees-Mogg not been picked off yet?

 

[Kaka Tim]

i think Johnson is finished. In two months weve had moving the goalposts to defend mps on the take - followed by a damaging u turn, this was swiftly followed by the peppa pig debacle and now his blatant lying over lockdown Christmas parties. Its now just a matter when, not if. He's one more fuck up from being chucked out by his own mps - and those fuck ups are coming on a regular basis. Id be surprised if hes still there by Easter. Could be much sooner if evidence comes out that blows his Christmas party denials to pieces.
Of course his own party - and especially those seeking to replace him - know all this too, so may choose to put him out his (and our) misery sooner rather than later. Who knows what incriminating photos Gove has on his phone?
There's also the possibility most - or all - of the leadership contenders - were at various of these parties themselves - so we may even see a circular firing squad where they take each other out with pics, tweets and videos of Christmas shenanigans. At this rate they'll end up with putting Teressa May back in charge as she's the only one who never got invited.

 

[eatmorecheese]

i think Johnson is finished. In two months weve had moving the goalposts to defend mps on the take - followed by a damaging u turn, this was swiftly followed by the peppa pig debacle and now his blatant lying over lockdown Christmas parties. Its now just a matter when, not if. He's one more fuck up from being chucked out by his own mps - and those fuck ups are coming on a regular basis. Id be surprised if hes still there by Easter. Could be much sooner if evidence comes out that blows his Christmas party denials to pieces.
Of course his own party - and especially those seeking to replace him - know all this too, so may choose to put him out his (and our) misery sooner rather than later. Who knows what incriminating photos Gove has on his phone?
There's also the possibility most - or all - of the leadership contenders - were at various of these parties themselves - so we may even see a circular firing squad where they take each other out with pics, tweets and videos of Christmas shenanigans. At this rate they'll end up with putting Teressa may back in charge as she's the only one who never got invited.

Ahh, lovely scenario. All I want for Christmas...

 

[Johnny Vodka]

And how the fuck has that Professor Yaffle cunt Rees-Mogg not been picked off yet?

Maybe he'll be the next PM.

 

[bimble]

He doesn't really give a damn if the general public thinks he's a lying piece of shit. His conscience (if he has one) is untroubled. He is only unsettled by risks to himself, meaning the usual Tory tradition of regicide perpetrated by the parliamentary party.

The rest of it? He thinks it is funny. Especially after a decent bottle or two and a few lines of chang.

I disagree, my theory of Johnson is that his whole thing is a craven desire to be liked. He has no actual opinions or ideas only the desire to please the crowd, hence the clown act the two brexit articles all that.
Nothing to do with conscience but when the people who read comments sections & his favourability ratings etc tell him that people in general are no longer entertained they are bored & they kind of hate you now, he will care about that imo.

 

[eatmorecheese]

I disagree, my theory of Johnson is that his whole thing is a craven desire to be liked. He has no actual opinions or ideas only the desire to please the crowd, hence the clown act the two brexit articles all that.
Nothing to do with conscience but when the people who read comments sections for him and tell him his favourability rating etc tell him that people in general are no longer entertained they kind of hate you now, he will care about that imo.

Maybe you are right. There's a damaged child in there somewhere.

 

[Pickman's model]

Maybe you are right. There's a damaged child in there somewhere.

not to mention a long-lost t-shirt, some rancid meat, several dozen buttons and a couple of needles and a copy of 'victor' from 1970

 

[eatmorecheese]

not to mention a long-lost t-shirt, some rancid meat, several dozen buttons and a couple of needles and a copy of 'victor' from 1970

Hmm, might give the penguins indigestion...

 

[Pickman's model]

Hmm, might give the penguins indigestion...

all impurities will be removed during the pengo process

 

[andysays]

Not to be pedantic but for me this isnt a case of being bent - being bent would be to act corruptly
This is a case of police actually following orders - from above - for UK policing is political policing

Are you suggesting that someone in the Met has had an explicit order from someone in government not to investigate?

I suggest it's far more likely that those in charge at the Met know not to investigate such matters without being explicitly told.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

The sack of shit and his almost equally repugnant wife have spawned again, there's some nice good news to bury the bad. Congratulations and all that, Mr Prime Minister, now get back to the job in hand and fuck off so far you come all the way back round, so you can fuck off again*.

*Into the Pengo Mutilator 3000 (tm)

 

[Pickman's model]

Not to be pedantic but for me this isnt a case of being bent - being bent would be to act corruptly
This is a case of police actually following orders - from above - for UK policing is political policing

i very much doubt that. this is good auld british corruption where a quid pro quo has ben proposed - no investigation into this for a sweet ascent to the lords for the abominable dick

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Can I be the first on here to congratulate the prime minister and his lovely wife on the birth of a healthy girl dead cat.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

…where are we going to wet the baby’s head, lads?

 

[A380]

 

[Johnny Vodka]

The sack of shit and his almost equally repugnant wife have spawned again, there's some nice good news to bury the bad. Congratulations and all that, Mr Prime Minister, now get back to the job in hand and fuck off so far you come all the way back round, so you can fuck off again*.

*Into the Pengo Mutilator 3000 (tm)

Peppa Johnson?

 

[A380]

I disagree, my theory of Johnson is that his whole thing is a craven desire to be liked. He has no actual opinions or ideas only the desire to please the crowd, hence the clown act the two brexit articles all that.
Nothing to do with conscience but when the people who read comments sections & his favourability ratings etc tell him that people in general are no longer entertained they are bored & they kind of hate you now, he will care about that imo.

See my theory about Johnson is based on Robert Heinlein’s multi universe fictions concept. That there are many universes created by intelligence and so what are fictional places in our world ( Oz, Wonderland etc are real elsewhere). In another universe a Sub Geoffrey Archer author wrote a book about hubris based on an incompetent amoral not very bright chancer with a burning desire to be PM who is destroyed by his own weaknesses and by fate. And we are living in that book.

 

[moochedit]

The baby is handy timing isn't it? Paternity leave starts shortly

 

[spitfire]

View attachment 299927

I did see a suggestion on Twitter that Dec 18th may be a fitting day to turn up for a party...

Both would be good. I can't go on the 24th though.

 

[moochedit]

i very much doubt that. this is good auld british corruption where a quid pro quo has ben proposed - no investigation into this for a sweet ascent to the lords for the abominable dick

Given that there would have (at the very least) been police bodyguards at the party they would need to get AC12 in!

 

[tommers]

Now been caught out lying to the flat inquiry thing

 

[Wilf]

It's almost like they're bent.

The whole fucking performance of 'government', asking questions to which everyone knows the answers. The fucking absurdity of it and it's distance from everyday life and how people establish what went on in the real world. Aside from the fact johnson knows chapter and verse about each one of the these parties, particularly which ministers/SPADS might have attended and now be vulnerable... it's the work of an afternoon to pull together a list of which events took place, who attended and whether masks were worn etc. Oh, hang on... that's the very thing they don't want to establish.

Cunts. Lying fucking cunts. How johnson can repeatedly say there was no party, knowing he will ultimately have to retreat to 'I was told' or 'it was a work gathering not a party'. If you ever want an example of politicians being liars, this is it. Lies as his first line of defence, lies as his natural way of speaking, a Dirty Fucking Liar.

 

[hegley]

I disagree, my theory of Johnson is that his whole thing is a craven desire to be liked. He has no actual opinions or ideas only the desire to please the crowd, hence the clown act the two brexit articles all that.
Nothing to do with conscience but when the people who read comments sections & his favourability ratings etc tell him that people in general are no longer entertained they are bored & they kind of hate you now, he will care about that imo.

Can't see it myself. He doesn't appear to give a toss about his children, or any of his wives/mistresses; the clown act is because he's laughing at everyone - not because he cares what they think.

 

[bimble]

Can't see it myself. He doesn't appear to give a toss about his children, or any of his wives/mistresses; the clown act is because he's laughing at everyone - not because he cares what they think.

He probably can’t fool his wives & children but he got elected PM didn’t he, not because anyone thought he was clever or moral or whatever but because they thought he was cheery and a bit of a laugh.

 

[spitfire]

Now been caught out lying to the flat inquiry thing

8 fucking months, how much did that investigation cost?

 

[Serene]

edit.