Peaches Geldof is dead, age 25

[elbows]

It's always tempting to want to judge parents when such a tragedy occurs and we have been fed enough titbits in the media over the years to feel like we might vaguely know what these people are like.

I'll try to resist it though, not least because when it comes to deadly drug addictions, we sometimes hear lots about the final chapters and very little about the first ones. Who introduced her to heroin in the first place? Later, did family members react to the addiction in the best way possible, or were there any problems with things like going into denial or being recklessly optimistic?

 

[Cheesypoof]

None of us knew her and it's the worst kind of bullshit tabloid speculation to pretend to know one single thing about how she lived her life based on The Tube and some toddler's garms.

Bob Geldof talked about what a good mother Paula Yates was, in his autobiography, 'Is that it?' He also discussed this often in interviews. He worshipped her as a wife and mother. I think that rather than write it off, it is fair enough to presume that pre-Hutchence she was a pretty good mother. You are being rather dismissive and presumptive, that everything one knows about someone must come from tabloids....

 

[5t3IIa]

Bob Geldof talked about what a good mother Paula Yates was, in his autobiography, 'Is that it?' He also discussed this often in interviews. He worshipped her as a wife and mother. I think that rather than write it off, it is fair enough to presume that pre-Hutchence she was a pretty good mother. You are being rather dismissive and presumptive, that everything one knows about someone must come from tabloids....

I've read enough about you to know you're a drunk.

 

[spanglechick]

I know a woman whose partner beats her up. While her children are in the house. She very fiercely believes that her partner is a good father. I'm bloody certain she is wrong.

I don't know enough about either Yates or Peaches Geldof to say for sure, but I think taking heroin while in sole charge of your child, risking your toddler being left alone with your OD'd corpse... while not making you evil and deserving of total condemnation, does suggest bloody shitty parenting.

 

[bubblesmcgrath]

None of us knew her

Which makes it all the more cruel that anyone, and I include the media, would even start to judge her parenting skills....especially now that she is dead and can't reply.

 

[Poot]

I know a woman whose partner beats her up. While her children are in the house. She very fiercely believes that her partner is a good father. I'm bloody certain she is wrong.

I don't know enough about either Yates or Peaches Geldof to say for sure, but I think taking heroin while in sole charge of your child, risking your toddler being left alone with your OD'd corpse... while not making you evil and deserving of total condemnation, does suggest bloody shitty parenting.

Not carrying out an activity that can kill you whilst you are solely in charge of your child is, in my opinion, a minimum requirement in parenting.

 

[Citizen66]

Being a smack head doesn't make someone a bad person. It might not make them a bad parent but it kind of does if you fall comatose and there's nobody else about to care for your kids.

 

[girasol]

I've read enough about you to know you're a drunk.

Wtf???

 

[Numbers]

Wtf???

Idiots are always idiots.

 

[kropotkin]

.

 

[5t3IIa]

Wtf???

I'm making a point.

 

[Citizen66]

There was a good write up on Cheryl Cole the other week. She sounds fab.

 

[bubblesmcgrath]

I'm making a point.

I've read enough about you to know you're a drunk.

??

 

[Citizen66]

You can't make sound judgements based on things you read. Christ, how obtuse does one need to be?

 

[ice-is-forming]

its very sad and unnecessary. I had actually known both bob and paula. both from the 80's when I used to hang with the rats and later when paula started doing the show with jools. zoom forwards a decade and here I am living close by to them again in kent and mixing in some similar circles. dependency happens for some people and until you've walked in those shoes don't dare be condemning her for being a bad mother. dependency doesn't make you a bad mother.

 

[spanglechick]

its very sad and unnecessary. I had actually known both bob and paula. both from the 80's when I used to hang with the rats and later when paula started doing the show with jools. zoom forwards a decade and here I am living close by to them again in kent and mixing in some similar circles. dependency happens for some people and until you've walked in those shoes don't dare be condemning her for being a bad mother. dependency doesn't make you a bad mother.

what does? genuine question.

 

[Numbers]

its very sad and unnecessary. I had actually known both bob and paula. both from the 80's when I used to hang with the rats and later when paula started doing the show with jools. zoom forwards a decade and here I am living close by to them again in kent and mixing in some similar circles. dependency happens for some people and until you've walked in those shoes don't dare be condemning her for being a bad mother. dependency doesn't make you a bad mother.

 

[Blagsta]

its very sad and unnecessary. I had actually known both bob and paula. both from the 80's when I used to hang with the rats and later when paula started doing the show with jools. zoom forwards a decade and here I am living close by to them again in kent and mixing in some similar circles. dependency happens for some people and until you've walked in those shoes don't dare be condemning her for being a bad mother. dependency doesn't make you a bad mother.

No, dependency doesn't make you a bad mother. Using whilst having sole responsibility for your children calls your parenting ability into question though.

 

[girasol]

I'm making a point.

You can't make sound judgements based on things you read. Christ, how obtuse does one need to be?

penny drops... Still, seemed a bit uncalled for at first sight

 

[Citizen66]

its very sad and unnecessary. I had actually known both bob and paula. both from the 80's when I used to hang with the rats and later when paula started doing the show with jools. zoom forwards a decade and here I am living close by to them again in kent and mixing in some similar circles. dependency happens for some people and until you've walked in those shoes don't dare be condemning her for being a bad mother. dependency doesn't make you a bad mother.

Well no. As long as your children are cared for it doesn't. But having an OD and nobody else being there to care for your child places the child at risk. Seventeen hours the baby had with nobody there to deal with his needs.

 

[ice-is-forming]

what does? genuine question.

physical/emotional abuse, neglect, no food, bruises, domestic violence, rape, incest. want me to go on. I have worked with many abused children and drug dependency is fairly low down on the official list to be concerned about. particularly in this case where money would have been no issue.

 

[girasol]

Idiots are always idiots.

erm, thanks. Is that our opinion of me? Or something else?

This quoting business can be bewildering. Please clarify and then I can have a clearer idea.

 

[spanglechick]

physical/emotional abuse, neglect, no food, bruises, domestic violence, rape, incest. want me to go on. I have worked with many abused children and drug dependency is fairly low down on the official list to be concerned about. particularly in this case where money would have been no issue.

doesn't neglect include taking drugs in sole charge of a toddler, though?

 

[ice-is-forming]

Well no. As long as your children are cared for it doesn't. But having an OD and nobody else being there to care for your child places the child at risk. Seventeen hours the baby had with nobody there to deal with his needs.

she could have fallen off a kitchen stool and killed herself.

 

[Blagsta]

physical/emotional abuse, neglect, no food, bruises, domestic violence, rape, incest. want me to go on. I have worked with many abused children and drug dependency is fairly low down on the official list to be concerned about. particularly in this case where money would have been no issue.

Using whilst having children in your sole care is pretty high on the list in this country! It constitutes neglect.

 

[Cheesypoof]

I've read enough about you to know you're a drunk.

thanks for that.

 

[girasol]

making a point on the internet is fraught with dangers and prone to being misinterpreted

 

[spanglechick]

she could have fallen off a kitchen stool and killed herself.

if she'd been risk taking by, say balancing on a kitchen stool in high heels, then yeah - that would be pretty reckless risk taking. Had she remained atop the stool for a period of time, not fully responding to the child if it needed her, then ditto.

 

[ice-is-forming]

doesn't neglect include taking drugs in sole charge of a toddler, though?

If the neglect was intentional? many people have seizures or comas from mis managing a disease, whilst having sole care of their child. does this make them bad parents.

 

[brogdale]

doesn't neglect include taking drugs in sole charge of a toddler, though?

I wouldn't have thought so; lord knows I often had a few beers whilst in sole charge of the Broglets...but I'd have thought that there has to be some question over the parenting of the father in this case. Th leave your infant alone with a heroin dependent mother doesn't look too clever.