Nancy_Winks
Well-Known Member
No, not if she's using in secret, hiding her addiction, running a double life, eaten up by craving and guilt at the same time. That was kinda the point of my post?!
Peaches Geldof is dead, age 25
- Thread starter _pH_
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Thora
Differently Ethical
The poster who mentioned creches for shooting up was suggesting that the problem was a lack of childcare due to illegality. My response was that whatever compelled Geldof to do this while in charge of her baby, it wasn't a lack of options for childcare.
Nancy_Winks
Well-Known Member
Misread your post then, cos you're absolutely right.
hipipol
Peckham Wry
Very well put
As for the size of the bag of gear _ I suggest she bought large cos she can hardly pop out to buy a 20 quid bag from any street dealer - she was rather well known
Instead she chose someone more discreet who may not have been prepared to break up what sounds from the value given to be around a half ounce
Nearly all the OD dead peeps I ever knew were people having a lapse who had forgotten the tolerance has dropped
Looby
Well-Known Member
Yeah, you're right. It's not like booking a babysitter for a night out and I think I probably missed the point in my post earlier.
It's just so tragic that another kid in that family is going to grow up with the pain of the circumstances of their mum's death as if it wouldn't be dreadful enough.
I don't know why but I find that bit really hard and really fucking selfish. But like you say, addiction makes you selfish and takes away that reason and rationality.
Nancy_Winks
Well-Known Member
sparklefish it is selfish, and really fuckin hard, you're quite right 
Having lived with a heroin addict before (me sober, them injecting), their using was obvious....i dont mean actual shooting up but general demeanour, pinned eyes, 'stoned'ness and nodding off. You have a fair point though, my pal was a very serious 'junkie' (excuse the term)....but some of his mates were more casual users and one of them you could barely tell was using....
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UrbaneFox
They've doubled in price
Betsy
Well-Known Member
Reading those few words tells me how very little I know of heroin( I assume that is what you're talking about here,Cheesypoof) addiction. I didn't know you could be a 'casual user' I thought, once hooked, it was an all consuming addiction that had to be fed,every day, on a regular basis.
hipipol
Peckham Wry
Nope
You have to quite determined to get it started
Its deemed so deadly, so Transgressive and wrapped in all the stupid "romance" of the doomed artist that you pursue it, in the demented belief that you too will Coleridge, Miles, Crowley - who ever you saw as the genius whose power was unleashed by smack
This, obviously is the Romantic middle class notion
Suspect its simply a blanket of non emotion for those who see no future
But, I dipped in and out of usage for years
What the Basketball Diaries called a "Pepsi Cola Habit"
Its bizarre but it has been romantisized since it was first synthysized
Betsy
Well-Known Member
Good grief - how awful.
Betsy
Well-Known Member
Have just looked that up and see that Leonardo DiCaprio played him in the film.
josef1878
Well-Known Member
spanglechick
High Empress of Dressing Up
interesting perspective here : http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/pe...m_source=edm&utm_medium=mc&utm_campaign=daily
bmd
Island in the stream.
She is quite right but then people with a drug problem can be very manipulative. And exhausting to be around. And make you a partner in their denial, with all the shame and guilt and silence that surrounds that. I imagine that's amplified if you're constantly trying to keep your behaviour a secret from people who are paid to unearth it.
So I can imagine a scenario where there have been many arguments about her parenting versus the drug use and her telling him she's not a bad parent just because she uses and him seeing her being that good parent. Who does he talk to about it without betraying his wife? I wouldn't be surprised if she had manipulated his silence using the media interest as a lever.
It's easy to judge in the cold light of day and I would think he's looking back on it all now wondering wtf he was thinking. Blaming himself for her death and not getting over that any time soon.
bmd
Island in the stream.
I agree that he should feel guilty. For a while, but can you imagine the death of his wife from a heroin overdose and him knowing about her problem, leading to him feeling a low level of guilt for a while? I can see him torturing himself for years with the deepest regret over this. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
story
Changing the facts
I have some acquaintanceship with a woman who lives quite similarly to Peaches: mother, loving husband and family, financially comfortable, recognition and respect from those around her, and a habit that dates back to the late eighties. Every so often, everyone thinks she's okay, then something will prove that she's still using, perhaps never stopped. The mystery of how she achieves this is no longer a topic for conversation: that she does manage to deceive those closest to her over and over again is now accepted as a basic given. Once in a while she'll confide in someone, break down in tears and promise to try rehab again. It just keeps going round and round. No one knows what to do for her, or for the bairns. Should she be divorced or otherwise separated from the family? Should the children be taken away from her? Should the husband stop work to take care of her? Should her elderly mother move in with the family? Should the au pairs who come and go be told about the situation? What is the best thing to do? It's easy enough to come up with ideas and suggestions, but how to actually put them in place properly and consistently? It's pretty clear now that she'll either live out her life, or die early, as an addict. Some people accept this, and argue that her addiction should be supported and enabled so that she's safe; others refuse to accept it and want to keep her battling on. She loves her children, they love her, they are thriving (mainly due to family support). What should be done? Nobody knows.
pinkmonkey
2.4 hour party person
And the longer they are enabled, i reckon the harder it is for change to happen, not to judge the enablers though, it is such a complex issue.
bmd
Island in the stream.
Is this rhetorical or are you asking for input? I don't want to waffle on if you're making an observation.
dylanredefined
Not a house elf a tiger
Some can most can't Too many people have claimed to be casual users only to end up ruining there lives. Just say no maybe trite ,but, is very applicable
to heroin.
story
Changing the facts
Is this rhetorical or are you asking for input? I don't want to waffle on if you're making an observation.
Oh it's rhetorical, I'm sorry to say.
As I said, I only have a slight connection with her. I knew her when we were all teens and knocking about together. My sister is still friends with her sister, which is how I continue to hear news of her. But it would be redundant and intrusive for me to get any further involved. I suppose that what I know is only the briefest of outlines about all the care and input she gets. I posted it up because I think it serves to illustrate the point that Peaches' addiction, while not stereotypical, is not unique.
(As it happens, the woman I wrote about is also connected to Peaches' circle; so it's possible that she - these two - are part of a much larger group within which this kind of thing is not especially rare....)
People - even those with money and means and emotional support and everything to live for - struggle with heroin in a way that sucks life and vigour out of them and everyone around them. It's a mean jealous possessive demanding drug. People who develop a relationship with heroin find that it haunts them and commands them over and above anything else they think they love.
bmd
Island in the stream.
I was going to say heroin made me....but it didn't make me into anything. What I chose to do was constantly step over my moral and ethical boundaries in order to keep taking it. Once I had stepped over the big ones, all the rest were easy to ignore. I became someone who I don't like. It wasn't anything overtly distasteful, more that I had very few morals when it came to lying or deceit and all that is good for is ensuring the drugs supply is less frequently interrupted.
The biggest hurdle I faced in walking away from it was the self deceit aka denial. The inability to take responsibility for my actions. Once I had reconnected with that and made a pact with myself to stop the deceit then it became easier to stay on the path out of it.
The biggest hurdle I faced in walking away from it was the self deceit aka denial. The inability to take responsibility for my actions. Once I had reconnected with that and made a pact with myself to stop the deceit then it became easier to stay on the path out of it.
Some good points made and my sisters have been emailing about this....one in particular is horrified that the child was left on their own.
Heres my ten cents - I think the husband was very young, and if you are spending all your time with a heroin addict, they can be very convincing, ESPECIALLY about non using. They will lie to you to your face. She must have lied point blank, and after she flushed the final stash down the loo, he believed her. As she would have been a good mum most of the time, he took a leap of faith. He wouldnt have had the maturity to do anything else at 23. I seriously doubt that he told anyone either, not his parents, friends or her dad. When he is ten years older he will see everything very differently.
Heres my ten cents - I think the husband was very young, and if you are spending all your time with a heroin addict, they can be very convincing, ESPECIALLY about non using. They will lie to you to your face. She must have lied point blank, and after she flushed the final stash down the loo, he believed her. As she would have been a good mum most of the time, he took a leap of faith. He wouldnt have had the maturity to do anything else at 23. I seriously doubt that he told anyone either, not his parents, friends or her dad. When he is ten years older he will see everything very differently.
Bob Geldof said this....he has nothing to blame as far as im concerned. She was her own person.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/p...i-blame-myself-for-peaches-death-9797415.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/p...i-blame-myself-for-peaches-death-9797415.html
Iguana
Well-Known Member
As well as that when you live with an addict your version of normal becomes warped. The addict on a functional high becomes your perception of them sober and it just messes with your head to an enormous degree. There os a process known as gaslighting where the addict manipulates their partner/family member so much that the partner ends up feeling in the wrong for doubting the addict. So even when it's utterly clear to someone on the outside that the addict is using, the partner genuinely doesn't see it and feels like a bad person if they even think it.
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