Local Newspaper Headlines!

[petee]

HALLUCINOGENIC SPINACH

Weed responsible for hallucinogenic spinach recall identified as thornapple

Riviera Farms says Victorian health authorities confirmed nightshade had contaminated harvest, with neighbouring crops now being destroyed

www.theguardian.com

Eating the plant can cause: thirst, dilated pupils, high temperatures, weak or rapid pulse, incoherence or hallucinations, vomiting, breathing problems and convulsions.

damn.

 

[Dystopiary]

A lorry has been stopped by police on the M4 after it was seen carrying a 50-metre load. Gwent Police and the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency stopped the lorry on the motorway near Monmouthshire on Friday, October 14.

The force was conducting an abnormal load operation at the Pilning Interchange, Junction 22, when they pulled over the flat-bed lorry and inspected the vehicle. Pictures shared by the force on social media show the lorry carrying the load hanging metres from the rear of the vehicle.

Spoiler: well bloody hell

Apparently they were carrying a load of 94 tonnnes.

 

[hash tag]

What did the police think they could do; impound it?

 

[cupid_stunt]

This is what they found.

Inspectors found that the lorry was carrying a load of 94 tonnes, which was over the vehicle’s design weight, the vehicle did not have enough axles on the ground, there were incorrect details on the movement order and on the special order, and the driver had deviated from the route on the movement order.

Police stop lorry on the M4 carrying huge 50-metre load hanging off the back

Police were left so shocked they shared the images on social media

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[two sheds]

They've got safety flags on the back what else do people want?

 

[jannerboyuk]

 

[JimW]

View attachment 356690

Fire in the hole!

 

[AverageJoe]

Thank you, have a nice day....

MSN

www.msn.com

Want!!!

 

[hitmouse]

Marine veteran chugs beer from prosthetic leg at Lakers game​

https://ktla.com/news/local-news/marine-veteran-chugs-beer-from-prosthetic-leg-at-lakers-game/

...Has anyone else seen The Saddest Music in the World?

 

[Dystopiary]

This is what they found.

Police stop lorry on the M4 carrying huge 50-metre load hanging off the back

Police were left so shocked they shared the images on social media

www.walesonline.co.uk

Oops, thanks! Forgot to post the link.

 

[danny la rouge]

View attachment 356690

Sounds like they just happened across it while doing something else!

 

[seeformiles]

Nice seasonal one

Man thinks he's found 'baby Jesus' in a packet of Revels

'I couldn't bring myself to eat it.'

metro.co.uk

 

[MrSki]

 

[moochedit]

Urgent warning over tubs of Quality Street and Celebrations

West Yorkshire police have issued the urgent warning after officers seized £300k worth of cannabis in disguise, in a bid to target children

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[ouirdeaux]

Nice seasonal one

Man thinks he's found 'baby Jesus' in a packet of Revels

'I couldn't bring myself to eat it.'

metro.co.uk

Aren't you supposed to eat the body of Jesus?

 

[mx wcfc]

Let's face it, we've all done it.

 

[hash tag]

Floating restaurant sinks

Sinking floating restaurant 'is going down like the Titanic'

The Miller & Carter begun to sink midway through this morning

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[hash tag]

Question is, was the farm left behind by the police, man?

‘Million pound’ cannabis farm found in old Streatham police station

Plants discovered after bungling drug dealers spark huge fire after reportedly trying to ‘steal electricity’ to power growing lamps

www.standard.co.uk

 

[Puddy_Tat]

not a local paper but

Pub-crawling Santas get armoured vehicle stuck in Cornish hedge

Traffic blocked after vintage vehicle carrying several Santas gets wedged in narrow lane

www.theguardian.com

 

[moochedit]

Let's face it, we've all done it.

I may regret asking this but how does he pay with his penis?

 

[SpookyFrank]

I may regret asking this but how does he pay with his penis?

Hopefully it was a contactless transaction.

 

[bluescreen]

I may regret asking this but how does he pay with his penis?

His pennies. His saved up pennies, that were burning a hole in his (front) pocket.

Edit: He was hard up, you see.

 

[poppy60]

HALLUCINOGENIC SPINACH

Weed responsible for hallucinogenic spinach recall identified as thornapple

Riviera Farms says Victorian health authorities confirmed nightshade had contaminated harvest, with neighbouring crops now being destroyed

www.theguardian.com

Eating the plant can cause: thirst, dilated pupils, high temperatures, weak or rapid pulse, incoherence or hallucinations, vomiting, breathing problems and convulsions.

damn.

shit

 

[cupid_stunt]

Christmas statue 'decapitated' - community slam 'mindless' vandals

A community group has slammed "mindless" vandals after a Christmas statue was "decapitated".

www.theargus.co.uk

A spokeswoman for the company said: “The Worthing town centre initiative fund the Christmas lighting, toy soldier and Christmas Tree Trails and we hope they bring lots of festive pleasure to residents and visitors to Worthing.

"There has been some damage this year, including the walkthrough Christmas Tree in South Street Square and a couple of the toy soldiers."

"Unfortunately one soldier was decapitated but we have located the head and we will rebuild him."

 

[cupid_stunt]

Shakes fist at the sky, howls at the moon, or scream at the sea...

Scream at the Sea 2022 sees Worthing residents air their grievances at the top of their voices.

Scream at the Sea 2022 saw a group of around 20 join Joe Bunn, Bard of Worthing, on the seafront to air their grievances and shout them at the top of their voices.

The shouting and screaming were enhanced by drums, gongs and other noise makers as the group spread around the wall at Splash Point to scream at the sea.
Joe said he had carried out the ritual on his own for the past four years, so it was great to have a group of people turn up to join him.

He explained: "It's the annual tradition that everyone needs in their lives. It's been another year that's lasted 9,000 days, and there's plenty to scream about, so why not channel that all into one bellow at one sea."

The time was set for 2pm on Thursday, December 29, and Joe handed out a ritual he had written for the occasion.

It read: "We the mighty few, gathered and true, ready to scream at the sea. We bring grievances and sorrow. We start anew, put last year's pain in the deep. We bring old lungs to freshen. We bring harsh words to strengthen ourselves against what we won't keep and we scream at the sea."

 

[JimW]

Why can't they use the telly like everyone else?

 

[hash tag]

Sort of local and misposted on wrong thread. Merry Christmas

Doncaster surgery sends cancer text instead of festive message

Patients at Askern Medical Practice are told they have aggressive lung cancer in a messaging error.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[seeformiles]

 

[Maggot]

They could have referred to him more tactfully.

 

[Indeliblelink]

New Year’s Eve fireworks cancelled because of masturbating walrus​