Local Newspaper Headlines!

[seeformiles]

Just bizarre

Japanese man gets skipping rope stuck in bladder after inserting it into penis

An elderly Japanese man got a 90-inch long skipping rope stuck in his bladder after inserting it into his penis. According to a study published in Urology Case Reports on Science Direct, the 79-year-old admitted inserting the rope through his urethra, before it became entangled in his bladder...

www.independent.co.uk

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Just bizarre

Japanese man gets skipping rope stuck in bladder after inserting it into penis

An elderly Japanese man got a 90-inch long skipping rope stuck in his bladder after inserting it into his penis. According to a study published in Urology Case Reports on Science Direct, the 79-year-old admitted inserting the rope through his urethra, before it became entangled in his bladder...

www.independent.co.uk

A new take on the old song “skip to the loo my darling”

 

[petee]

it will rise higher

Developer restoring 'Boner 4ever' building in North Philly wants to construct an 8-story addition

The historic, graffitied property on North Broad Street is being transformed into a Marriott Hotel, with plans for a neighboring residential building

www.phillyvoice.com

"Preservationists have sometimes remarked that the 14-story structure, built between 1926 and 1933, has "good bones" — a phrase that takes on new meaning when it comes to this Art Deco beauty"

 

[quiet guy]

Man ends 20-year Llandegley airport sign joke that cost £25k

Nicolas Whitehead has decided to remove the sign for the fictitious airport with a large fanbase.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[bluescreen]

Man ends 20-year Llandegley airport sign joke that cost £25k

Nicolas Whitehead has decided to remove the sign for the fictitious airport with a large fanbase.

www.bbc.co.uk

I love this bit:

"The sign is just a sign," he said.
"The sign can come down but the airport is still there. The airport exists in the same way that songs exist. If you set fire to the scrap of paper on which Paul McCartney wrote Yesterday, that wouldn't destroy the song.
"The song exists as a shared experience; it's indestructible. It's the same with the airport."

 

[petee]

The police department assures residents that the secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices remain safe.

https://cbs12.com/news/local/florida-man-breaks-into-burglarizes-kfc-tampa-police-department-kentucky-freid-chicken-november-18-2022

 

[seeformiles]

Not a comical headline at all. This is more an example of a reporter desperately trying to wring a National story out of an unfortunate local death:

Amy Winehouse's ex-husband's brother died of overdose in Leeds hotel

Freddy Civil, the younger brother of Blake, had absconded from hospital

www.leeds-live.co.uk

 

[petee]

Marine veteran chugs beer from prosthetic leg at Lakers game​

https://ktla.com/news/local-news/marine-veteran-chugs-beer-from-prosthetic-leg-at-lakers-game/

 

[seeformiles]

Made me laugh

Coca-Cola Christmas truck in flames in Romania

The famous red vehicle caught fire while driving down a busy road in the capital Bucharest.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Orang Utan]

I accept that I’m a bad person, but my first thought was ‘wouldn’t that even it all out, then?’

Wigan shooting victim doused in both acid and alkali - police

Murder detectives say Liam Smith's body was found doused in both acid and alkaline substances.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[moochedit]

The police department assures residents that the secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices remain safe.

Phew! Was getting worried there

 

[Indeliblelink]

I accept that I’m a bad person, but my first thought was ‘wouldn’t that even it all out, then?’

Wigan shooting victim doused in both acid and alkali - police

Murder detectives say Liam Smith's body was found doused in both acid and alkaline substances.

www.bbc.co.uk

Someone certainly wanted him neutralized.

 

[dessiato]

I accept that I’m a bad person, but my first thought was ‘wouldn’t that even it all out, then?’

Wigan shooting victim doused in both acid and alkali - police

Murder detectives say Liam Smith's body was found doused in both acid and alkaline substances.

www.bbc.co.uk

I found this “Det Ch Insp Gina Brennand previously said the "shocking murder of a much-loved family man" was the first fatal shooting in the area for more than two years.” damning with faint praise.

 

[MrSki]

 

[hash tag]

You would think they would have been foiled in the attempt

 

[Orang Utan]

we can all guess what that foil was needed for

 

[danny la rouge]

we can all guess what that foil was needed for

Putting down the back of radiators to save money on heating.

 

[Orang Utan]

Putting down the back of radiators to save money on heating.

how romantic

 

[bluescreen]

It's the latest role for this versatile product.

 

[seeformiles]

we can all guess what that foil was needed for

Smoking gear?

 

[Orang Utan]

Smoking gear?

Crack or heroin

 

[seeformiles]

Crack or heroin

Heroin for me please

 

[killer b]

I know times are hard for local news orgs, but my local paper appears to be running sex work advertorial content as news - I just had this 'suggested for you' on facebook.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

I know times are hard for local news orgs, but my local paper appears to be running sex work advertorial content as news - I just had this 'suggested for you' on facebook.

View attachment 355752

"suggested for you" as a new potential income stream, or as a purchaser, do you think?

 

[killer b]

"suggested for you" as a new potential income stream, or as a purchaser, do you think?

I'm guessing the resale market for soiled underwear of balding middle aged men isn't particularly lucrative, but then I didn't think I had a fetish for women's pissy pants either. The algo never lies though, so I guess it's got to be one of them.

 

[ouirdeaux]

People wouldn't know you were bald and middle-aged from your underwear, I'm guessing. If you wore female underwear, they wouldn't even know you were male.

 

[mx wcfc]

Eastleigh is this exciting

Eastleigh: Bins frozen shut 'can't be collected'

Residents in the Eastleigh Borough Council area are being warned to check their bin can be opened.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[bluescreen]

Eastleigh is this exciting

Eastleigh: Bins frozen shut 'can't be collected'

Residents in the Eastleigh Borough Council area are being warned to check their bin can be opened.

www.bbc.co.uk

Yeah, same here. We were told to stick a stick under the lid or else.

I sorted our bins, except for one where I left the snow on top, which melted and refroze.

But anyway there was too much snow on the road that the council had been able to make safe so the council was unable to collect bins anyway.

 

[elbows]

My local rag loves to write Pete Doherty stories because he went to school in Bedworth for a time.

This finally delivered results fit for this thread.

Pete Doherty 'spontaneously combusted' after biting Christmas light wires

Rock star who studied his A-levels in Bedworth says it left him with a white streak in his hair

www.coventrytelegraph.net

 

[hash tag]

Thank you, have a nice day....

MSN

www.msn.com