Terminology can be a funny one; to me, London's a city that's very much made up of many different suburbs that have all grown in to one non-homogeneous whole (as opposed to "metroland" suburbia). If city life's for you, and it is for me, then you have a lot of choice on your pick of poison in the big smoke. IMHO the places that started off as towns or villages in their own right have very much retained that feeling of self-containment (story's posts on Brixton are a perfect example), new build estates (e.g. Docklands or Greenwich) feel a helluva lot more sterile and isolated to me. Some of the "glue" land between the suburban town centres has the same feeling; a bunch of identikit cul-de-sacs sandwidged between two bypasses, and precious little other "town" infrastructure.
I live in crystal palace in zone 3 - at one point dubbed "the clean air suburb". Still feels like a town with a good selection of shops, pubs, restaurants, etc. Lots of parks dotted around, and lots of trees even where there aren't parks. A very electic mix of people. Good transport links in to different bits of central for work and for play. Great views. Lots of stuff going on, loads of local history to dive in to if that's your thing. All of this within walking distance so getting by without a car is very, very easy. It's what I consider a London suburban life as opposed to suburbia.
Buying anywhere in London isn't for the faint hearted though (although the mania has spread far and wide to commuter towns and probably beyond as well now). It took me ten years of saving, an inheritance and a lucky investment to get my foot on the property ladder. These days you probably want to have at least 100k in your back pocket if you're looking to be able to buy a half-decent gaff for two. Kensington? Likely ten times that.
The overwhelming majority of my colleagues, young and old, live out in the home counties and commute; most of them love it, and can't understand why I prefer living in the city (although a big part of that "can't understand" boils down to cost). Their shops are a 15min drive away and they only have supermarkets and chain stores. They can't stay out late on a work do or cab it home because the last train is at 21:42 and it's £100+ quid for a taxi. They spend 5k+ on their season tickets every year and still have to pay extra for the tube (whereas I pay ~2k p.a. to get access to everything within zone 3). None of these places feel significantly different from the town I grew up in and was desperate to get away from.
On a purely monetary basis, there's plenty of places I can't afford to live (and frequently wouldn't want to live there anyway). If I was to somehow win the euromillions without buying a ticket then probably my main mansion would be one of those incredible Georgian townhouses in Bloomsbury overlooking some square or other. I lived in one as a student and, even thought it was wholly decked out in drab magnolia, cracked,stained formica, and burnt toast, they're incredible spaces inside.
My fantasy is Kensington because that is where I travel through whenever I get the National Express home. I imagine I am going out for dinner in Kensington with the locals in their sparkling cafes. I used to spend a fair amount of time in Kensington a few years ago and it is quite homely to me even if I’ve never had a home there.
My patner worked in Kensington for several years so it was often used as a meeting/socialising point. Whilst there were certainly bits of it that were wholly vilely rich trash through and through, there were still plenty of bits that felt like any of part of London (although almost always more spenny) with functional shops, decent pubs, etc. I still wouldn't live there because things like access to gardens or parks, or even just decent living space, are impossible unless you're a millionaire, and there are other areas of London that are far better value for money for the sorts of things I'm interested in. Granted, I don't know it well enough to know any of the people but Kensington certainly has a (likely deserved) reputation for housing the Tarquin's and Xanthe's of the world. You're right though in that certain parts of it really
are homey. Just usually very, very expensively so.
I totally get what you’re saying though and in reality I’ll never have the 10 million pounds I would need for a Central West London flat. There is no way I would be able to buy in London right now by myself. If I coupled up in the next couple of years then it’s something I could consider...
You may not see it this way - and I can't guess as to your age or exact circumstances - but "not being able to buy in London" in your situation sounds like an advantage. Finding some digs is the perfect place to start exploring the various areas, assuming you've got a strong enough stomach for the "seppuku sounds more palatable" rental market and/or house shares; it's the ideal way to have an excuse to get a feel for an area prior to your impending millionaire fantasies. Personally I wouldn't consider to committing to anything as bonkers as a house purchase in London without at least having lived there for a few years prior.
I moved to Brixton in 2000 (off the back of following some friends who moved to Camberwell the year previously, although their was a proper
Withnail & I setup) - it was dirt cheap back then and far more "edgy" than it feels to me now, with too many of the original locals ground down in to coffee beans - but I don't hold out any illusions about me being one of the early waves of gentrification, and thus partially responsible for its fall from grace. I'd still like to live there (so many beautiful buildings!), but it's again become one of those fantastically overpriced places that's squeezing out its lifeblood; too much of a
destination suburb rather than a living one.
(I say this as an out-of-touch ex-Brixtoner that's not spent significant time there for over a decade. It's heartening to read the experiences of people like story who still live there and still know where the spirit's still alive)
our childcare arrangements
This presumably can significantly quite complicate things...? I don't have any kids so I can't really relate but... the primary reason for moving out(wards) of London IME has always been "we've got a kid now, we need more space and we can't afford it in X so we need to move to Y". Childcare is also an expense that'll frequently loosen my eyebrows when I hear of it. If both parents were working, people spending £1000 a month on a nursery or a childminder wasn't uncommon five years ago; I imagine it's far, far worse now.
That said, wouldn't mind retiring to a flat in the Barbican.
Not only did I work next to it for ~6 years, I've also stayed at one of the flats in the Barbican towers (it was company-owned and offered up to those of us doing weekend work). Whilst I absolutely love the architecture, I'm still not sure I'd like to live there - it felt too much of an enclave. The Barbican's the only part of the City that's got any real life to it at all (as well as the nearby Peabody estate and around whitecross street being one of the few places where people actually live), and even that's a tad tenuous. I find the nooks and crannies of nearby Clerkenwell to be far more homey.
