Feeling like I am doomed to live in suburbia forever

[iona]

Generally speaking, we are an adaptable species. But, conversely, we are also creatures of habit and don't readily embrace change.

I think it's all about size and amenities. Ideally, you want to be able to get to everywhere reasonably quickly, have access to grocery stores/dentists/hospital without travelling miles by car, have a local Post Office, be on a major bus route and actually have gritters clear roads and pavements for the occasional snowfall!

Having local access to cinemas, theatres, music venues, museums and art galleries also matters if you still like going out and absorbing culture. Being in the suburbs can mean all of the above, but without the noise, aggression, litter and general aggravation of being right in the centre.

Kemp Town is a suburb of Brighton, still retains its village-y feel, you recognise regular faces, there's a seafront cycle path that takes you right into town and bus service every 5 minutes. It's not perfect, nowhere is; my only concern is whether I'll still be able to carry my bikes up and down the stairs when I'm 70 (I'm on the 3rd floor and there's no lift).

I have access to most of those things here without any of the downsides. Being on an island means stuff can't be too spread out.

Brighton is the last city I lived in and I wouldn't move back there, even if it isn't as bad as bigger cities.

 

[nagapie]

Most importantly don't live in Tory areas.

 

[kalmatthew]

Your city's amazing, BB1 now in her third year there and every time we go down we just feel at peace, loads of nice places to eat and drink, such friendly people everywhere, great views from the city centre, amazing countryside just outside. A number of our friends are heading that way for retirement etc., BB1is headed to Scotland for her Masters, but think she'll be back with you once that's done, we may consider it too once BB2 flies the nest.

But for now, where we are is our ideal, small enough to feel safe, not twee at all (even though people think it should be), lots of nice pubs, could do with so more eateries, (in fact we're getting two more good ones early next year), big enough that there's enough shops to meet your daily needs, small enough so that you nearly always bump in to someone you know in the high street. 10 mins to Guildford for bigger shopping / nights out, 45 mins to Waterloo, last train back from London is around 12, that's late enough for me these days, on the rare occasion need later there is later to Guildford or much later to Woking then a cab ride, so all works. Add to that the amazing countryside right on our doorstep, can cycle from my front door and be off road in under 10 mins then do a 40 mile off-road loop (or any number of 40 mile loops) and back again, really very lucky to live here.

This sounds very much like the description I also give people of Godalming! I'm interested in what the two new eateries are and if there is a good source for local gossip.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Giggling Squid where Cote was and Ragged Robin* in the old Beefeater.

* A Heartwood Inns gaff, same as the March Hare in Guildford, they should make more of a feature of the garden too. The local goss is it is a Raymond Blanc place, oddly enough I know him and he has a tiny stake in Heartwood Inns and a small oversight of the menu, but it’s no Le Manoir, he wouldn’t normally ever visit one but says he might come to the opening of this cos it’s where I live, or he may not…

 

[marty21]

Sell your cardboard box
and buy a castle from the jocks

A friend did sell her 2 bed flat in Clapton, she moved to Yorkshire and bought a 7 bed house (it was going cheap) she has since downsized to a 3 bed on the same street - the house cost about 1/2 of what she sold her 2 bed flat for.

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

What sort of music you can see live is a great yardstick of a place for me. I grew up in a fair size town where bands did occasionally play, but the ones that did were very safe and mainstream and of zero interest to me. Only band I saw when I lived there were the Icicle Works, and that was mainly because of the convenience and the fact that some mates were going too rather than any great love of them.

The city I live in and have done for the last 30 years is 20 miles from the above town and the initial draw was that we could see as many bands as we wanted and there were independent record shops that catered for most of my obscure vinyl needs (but not all).

As the years have gone by my tastes and the music scene have changed. The loss of the university gig circuit was a major blow. I usually get to one or two gigs in my home city every year, but otherwise we invariably have to get the train to Bristol for the bands I like. The other thing that's changed is that it's not all about the cities anymore, so in my part of the world hipster enclave towns like Totnes and Falmouth now see the sort of acts that previously only would have played the big urban areas.

Sheffield is great if you want to go and see a small band in a little venue - there's a really vibrant local music scene. Not so good for the bigger bands which tend to play Manchester and Leeds (maybe that makes the space for smaller venues though).

Something like Cafe Oto which I mentioned really is London only though which is kind of what I was getting at. To a large degree what you get from London is there in other bigger UK cities but there are things that really aren't. Whether those are things that matter to you is obviously up to the individual.