Feeling like I am doomed to live in suburbia forever

[nagapie]

There are still a few of them scattered about!

Lack of variety.

 

[Lord Camomile]

I grew up in Z4 North London suburbia, and when I got back from uni I was quite keen to live somewhere further in, a bit more lively.

But I also wanted a flat with a living room, rather than just bedrooms, and ended up in Z4 South London suburbia.

Classic story, thought I'd still move further in at some point, but 16 years later and I'm still here.

Recently I've started to think maybe I'd do better somewhere a bit smaller than London, where I could get to work quicker, and not quite so densely populated. I love people, but have realised that the crowds possibly aren't great for me.

But... it's always been home.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Village/sticks life.

It's not fabulously convenient for teenagers who want to have this new fangled social life which means driving then to a from town all the time (town being a relative term compared to London...) but it's quiet, with a big sky, a pub, and a village hall.

A village pub is essential for me, I was a bit disappointed that one out of the two had closed before I moved here, but delighted to discover three micro-pubs had opened up instead.

Well, one is more of a cafe during the day, but turns into a pub from early evening.

 

[Dr. Furface]

There's so much I hate about London - but after 35 years (what??? how did that happen?) here, I don't think I could live anywhere else. There's much I love about it too. I think I'd go crazy if I lived in a small town.

That's pretty much how I feel too. I think I could move away, but I'm fooling myself. There's still too much here that I like to do and that's convenient. London is for young people though, and the older I get the less it feels right for me. But I can't think of anywhere in England I prefer to London, and there's no point moving somewhere unless you have a good reason to and you really want to - and I don't. Fortunately I don't need to move for financial reasons either.. If I did move I'd prefer to go abroad, but I think my time for doing that has gone now.

 

[StoneRoad]

I don't like big city living, even on the outskirts.
Working in such places was just - but only just - tolerable.

Luckily, I was brought up on the edge of a small town so appreciate the countryside.
Just over 25 yrs ago, OH and I took the plunge and moved out of the suburbs and to the edge of a large Northumberland village. Commuting for work was tiring but living out here compensated - work/life balanced.
Technically retired, I think I've got a good deal ...

Would maybe live by the sea, but I do have access to that either East or West less than 90 minutes drive away - and can access a friend's boat to the west.
For shopping / hospitals same thing - East is about 20 minutes or an hour, Westwards half an hour.
I like historic buildings and old technology so I can trot off for that, but some places I want to see now need a few days stay away. [Canals were never really a thing around here, early railways instead].

 

[QueenOfGoths]

I grew up in a small village, it was great, I love visiting, it's beautiful but I couldn't live there now. Not enough 'stuff'.

I'm now in commuterville. I have a love hate relationship with it. I wish the town were nicer, I wish there were more community activities but I've also found people, places, things that I love.

If someone would like to buy me this I'd be happier

Check out this 4 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

4 bedroom detached house for sale in Boulters Lock Island, MAIDENHEAD, SL6 for £3,500,000. Marketed by Hamptons, Maidenhead

www.rightmove.co.uk

 

[story]

I live and work and socialise in Brixton so I don’t have to tackle the crowds in the centre unless I’m making a destination trip. And as a native Londoner I’m familiar with how this place works, what/were/when to avoid, where all the fox holes and space-time continuum glitches are located, so I can get around fairly easily without getting stuck in the chugging crowds.

It’s a bit like living not-really in London but with all the benefits of it. I love being able do a quick hour in the National Gallery on the way home from a meeting, or read a good review of a West End show while on the bus home and decide to leap off and get in the queue for ticket returns. That spontaneity is dependent on being here, nowhere else.


I’d definitely lose my mind in a smaller place, or a place that’s not constantly fizzing with flux like a fast running stream.

But I also rely on being able to get out of London periodically to soak up some nature and stretch my gaze further than the end of the street.

These days it can sometimes take up to two hours to just get out of the Wen, which is a huge drag and I often end up driving in the dead of night. But I live on a quiet street (despite having two pubs, a school, and several estates here) and I have a good sized garden, so I’m also happy staying put most of the time.


Eivets Rednow
If I were wanting to move into London and start a new life right now I’d choose a locality that has its own downtown and village thing going on. Definitely not Kensington, which has always been a dead zone culturally unless you’re rich and like rich-people culture. For me, it would have to be a place that’s not dominated by white people, on the Tube system, independent shops and eating places some local music, a market, a decent public park etc. So basically, Brixton. Peckham is good but transport can be tricky. Camberwell is alright. I’d consider Greenlanes too.

Would you be renting or buying? Either way London is fantastically overpriced. One of the reasons I’d never move out is because it would be double-difficult to ever move back.

 

[Lord Camomile]

there's no point moving somewhere unless you have a good reason to and you really want to

Aye, this is fundamentally the main reason I haven't moved.

 

[Callie]

I think a calming city flat is the thing. Some kind of sanctuary in the city.

I dunno man. Have you met the city? I just don't know if that is a thing.

 

[story]

I dunno man. Have you met the city? I just don't know if that is a thing.

I know I’m very lucky here: I can categorically state that yes, it’s a thing.

 

[moomoo]

I live in a big city and it is no secret that I absolutely hate it. I moved from a medium sized town that has countryside and trees and you’re not likely to get stabbed if you go down the high street. I can’t even go for a walk here because I do not feel safe and also because if you want to go for a walk then you have to drive there. And it is so dirty. Absolutely minging. No one cares about their environment. And everywhere stinks of weed.

Give me suburbia any day!

 

[Epona]

I grew up in a small village, it was great, I love visiting, it's beautiful but I couldn't live there now. Not enough 'stuff'.

I'm now in commuterville. I have a love hate relationship with it. I wish the town were nicer, I wish there were more community activities but I've also found people, places, things that I love.

If someone would like to buy me this I'd be happier

Check out this 4 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

4 bedroom detached house for sale in Boulters Lock Island, MAIDENHEAD, SL6 for £3,500,000. Marketed by Hamptons, Maidenhead

www.rightmove.co.uk

OMG.
Not keen on open plan and the house itself is a bit too modern in style and uncluttered/show home for my liking.
But the setting - just yes.

 

[Elpenor]

I live on the outskirts of a small town. I don’t particularly like people, crowds, noise, flashing lights so cities aren’t much fun for me. I particularly can’t deal with first coming into a city at night. I have learnt to ease myself into the environment so need to arrive during the day.

For boring but practical reasons I feel security from knowing I can walk 10 minutes to get what I need if necessary etc (I hated living in a village, I found it isolating eg having to walk 3 miles back from the garage when my car needed an MOT and then 3 miles to collect it ). I think this comes from living on my own, and being quite solitary, not liking to ask people for favours, so the security blanket of knowing that if I was ill I could struggle to the nearest shop for provisions and medicine.

The town has most things and the centre of it is only a 30 minute walk, and there’s a city 25 minutes drive (or hop on a bus from the bottom of the road) that has all the other stuff I could possibly want from life.

I find the close proximity of a dramatic physical landscape (coastline, moors, hills) to be a reassuring, and spirit lifting presence that fills my heart with joy. I’m sure city dwellers have something similar that works for them - maybe it’s the distinct sounds or smells of their neighbourhood. For me it’s a visual thing and it’s about the natural world.

 

[ElizabethofYork]

I lived on a central London council estate for the first 12 years of my life,.then moved to North London (Palmers Green), then at the age of 18 moved to a commuter town in Hertfordshire.

Now I live in a village. I absolutely hated it when I first came here, and kept telling my husband.we should move back to London. But gradually I began ro really like it here. I love the fact that I know nearly everyone here, and that I can go into the local cafe or pub on my own and know that i'll see friends and acquaintances there. I love the sense of community, and that people genuinely look out for each other. And there's some lovely countryside nearby.

It's not perfect of course. there's plenty of knobheads here, just like anywhere else.

 

[cupid_stunt]

For boring but practical reasons I feel security from knowing I can walk 10 minutes to get what I need if necessary etc (I hated living in a village, I found it isolating eg having to walk 3 miles back from the garage when my car needed an MOT and then 3 miles to collect it ). I think this comes from living on my own, and being quite solitary, not liking to ask people for favours, so the security blanket of knowing that if I was ill I could struggle to the nearest shop for provisions and medicine.

This is why I love this village, within 2-5 minutes walk, I have a sizeable co-op with sub-PO for banking, another small independent grocery store, butcher, barber, pharmacy, dentist, GP surgery, three pubs, and the garage I use is only about a 12 minute walk, about 15 minutes walk is another grocery store, butchers, and pub.

There's also a couple restaurants, two take-aways, and a vets.

I am not sure I could live in a tiny village without this range of essential services.

 

[Happy Tree]

Estonia is so small nowhere could be considered really big, but the capital Tallinn is often called too big by the provinces. Here in Tartu we have a lovely balance of stuff to do and leafy greenness. The district where I live is the mainly Russian area. 10 minutes on the bus to the centre of town. 5 minutes on the bike to the beginning of the countryside and farms.

The local music shops, even in Tallinn, have a pretty poor selection but we get our good stuff from the internet. Usually that German site. If you know, you know. God I hate that phrase lol.

 

[story]

I’ve

I live on the outskirts of a small town. I don’t particularly like people, crowds, noise, flashing lights so cities aren’t much fun for me. I particularly can’t deal with first coming into a city at night. I have learnt to ease myself into the environment so need to arrive during the day.

For boring but practical reasons I feel security from knowing I can walk 10 minutes to get what I need if necessary etc (I hated living in a village, I found it isolating eg having to walk 3 miles back from the garage when my car needed an MOT and then 3 miles to collect it ). I think this comes from living on my own, and being quite solitary, not liking to ask people for favours, so the security blanket of knowing that if I was ill I could struggle to the nearest shop for provisions and medicine.

The town has most things and the centre of it is only a 30 minute walk, and there’s a city 25 minutes drive (or hop on a bus from the bottom of the road) that has all the other stuff I could possibly want from life.

I find the close proximity of a dramatic physical landscape (coastline, moors, hills) to be a reassuring, and spirit lifting presence that fills my heart with joy. I’m sure city dwellers have something similar that works for them - maybe it’s the distinct sounds or smells of their neighbourhood. For me it’s a visual thing and it’s about the natural world.

Lots of things do it for me Elpenor .

In terms of visuals, I love seeing the weird perspective view of The Shard and nearby high rises as I come down Brixton Hill. I love being at the top of Brockwell Park and seeing the rest of London out there, all the famous landmarks: all lit up it makes me think of the Emerald City. I love crossing the river and seeing that span of the Southbank on all sides. I love a city sunset at any time of the year. I love the bark peeling off the London Planes so they look like the necks of enormous giraffe-type creatures. Going round the corner and being suddenly overhung by the edifice of Freemason’s Hall, being spied on down a side street by St Paul’s Cathedral, bumping into the Elizabeth Frinks, Achilles, that horse’s head standing on its nose.

I love the hum and hiss of the city threading through the peace, like the sound of cicadas to tell me life goes on. I love the sound of the pub over the road, singing and laughing and chatting, and the sound of the school kids playing to mark the passage of each day, and the parts of the year, like a school-clock that tells the child-memory part of me what time it is. I love walking round Brixton and passing from one zone of music being played out loud and into the next. The sound of pirate stations played loud in cars, cars vibrating to the D&B as they pass along the street. Blackbirds singing in the dead of night, crows that mark the hour between club throwing out time and dawn.

I love the different smells, even the noisome ones, telling me of humans and their doings. The food as it arrives, fresh fish and bread, and then as it goes out, waste and leavings, and the drain smell of Jeyes and soaked-in sewage. The smell in basement pub toilets that reminds me that London is built on a swamp, the early-doors smells from the night before. Ethiopian food, Nigerian food, jerk stalls.

London for me

 

[story]

I lived on a central London council estate for the first 12 years of my life,.then moved to North London (Palmers Green), then at the age of 18 moved to a commuter town in Hertfordshire.

Now I live in a village. I absolutely hated it when I first came here, and kept telling my husband.we should move back to London. But gradually I began ro really like it here. I love the fact that I know nearly everyone here, and that I can go into the local cafe or pub on my own and know that i'll see friends and acquaintances there. I love the sense of community, and that people genuinely look out for each other. And there's some lovely countryside nearby.

It's not perfect of course. there's plenty of knobheads here, just like anywhere else.

I feel that I have that here in Brixton. Just yesterday I was greeted by someone as we passed each other and we stopped to chat. Don’t know each other in any other way but like this. I go down the market and I get greeted and hugged regularly. When I go to the Windmill the bar staff ask me “yer usual?”. Other pubs, I can nip in and odds on there will be someone I know in there.

It’s not every time, but it’s normal and common to see people I know in the post office, supermarket, library, cinema.

But if that was unavoidable I’d find it really oppressive. I like that I can also go round Brixton anonymously if I want to. Or, if seen, I can wave and scurry on, no obligation to visit, no judgement either.

That thing in the country when you have to say a cheery hello to everyone every time, yeah, that would annoy me if I had to live with it as a constant.

 

[SpookyFrank]

There are nice suburbs, usually pre-existing villages or small towns that got swallowed up by somewhere bigger. You need two things; some kind of hub for things that aren't just houses; a pub and a few shops at least, and some decent non-car transport links. Cycle routes, trams or commuter trains, buses that don't stop running at 4:30pm.

There are also awful suburbs. A random squiggle of cul-de-sacs leading into other cul-de-sacs and only one entrance/exit which just dumps you straight onto a fast major road. Walled in by even bigger roads or a railway line on which the suburb itself doesn't merit a station. No shops, no pubs, no primary school, maybe a kids' playground but because it's the only non-road outdoor space it's probably colonised by day-drinkers and teenagers.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Round here they're building right up to the corner of the M5 and the A30, a new estate that has only one proper way in or out which is via an already hellishly congested and awkward junction. 70mph roads on two sides, and a major industrial estate on a third. The school they're building is two years behind schedule and the main contractor has gone bust so it's currently just a stack of portakabins adrift in a sea of mud and concrete.

Houses in this dantean hellscape are a lot more expensive than where we live, an estate in tranquil, tree-lined valley ten minutes' walk from a major rail station and twenty from the city centre. The sole reason I can discern for this being the case is that the new build hellscape has allocated parking spaces. Also where we live, there's some social housing.

People are idiots.

 

[Elpenor]

I feel that I have that here in Brixton. Just yesterday I was greeted by someone as we passed each other and we stopped to chat. Don’t know each other in any other way but like this. I go down the market and I get greeted and hugged regularly. When I go to the Windmill the bar staff ask me “yer usual?”. Other pubs, I can nip in and odds on there will be someone I know in there.

It’s not every time, but it’s normal and common to see people I know in the post office, supermarket, library, cinema.

But if that was unavoidable I’d find it really oppressive. I like that I can also go round Brixton anonymously if I want to. Or, if seen, I can wave and scurry on, no obligation to visit, no judgement either.

That thing in the country when you have to say a cheery hello to everyone every time, yeah, that would annoy me if I had to live with it as a constant.

I think I really value the anonymity. I say hi to my neighbours and chat to one of them a bit when I see her walking the dog or we are both mowing the lawn; but no one else really knows who I am and that suits me down to the ground.

Does mean if I become an active shooter I’ll be that “quiet man, always kept himself to himself cliche”

 

[pbsmooth]

I live in a big city and it is no secret that I absolutely hate it. I moved from a medium sized town that has countryside and trees and you’re not likely to get stabbed if you go down the high street. I can’t even go for a walk here because I do not feel safe and also because if you want to go for a walk then you have to drive there. And it is so dirty. Absolutely minging. No one cares about their environment. And everywhere stinks of weed.

Give me suburbia any day!

getting stabbed because you live in a city klaxon!

 

[story]

getting stabbed because you live in a city klaxon!

I hitched up at that too.

I’ve lived in London my whole life, and in Brixton for more than half of that. I’ve never been stabbed. I don’t think I’m in the minority.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

There are also awful suburbs. A random squiggle of cul-de-sacs leading into other cul-de-sacs and only one entrance/exit which just dumps you straight onto a fast major road. Walled in by even bigger roads or a railway line on which the suburb itself doesn't merit a station. No shops, no pubs, no primary school, maybe a kids playground but because it's the only non-road outdoor space it's probably colonised by day-drinkers and teenagers.

ans almost impossible to get a viable bus service in to

 

[Elpenor]

Round here they're building right up to the corner of the M5 and the A30, a new estate that has only one proper way in or out which is via an already hellishly congested and awkward junction. 70mph roads on two sides, and a major industrial estate on a third. The school they're building is two years behind schedule and the main contractor has gone bust so it's currently just a stack of portakabins adrift in a sea of mud and concrete.

Houses in this dantean hellscape are a lot more expensive than where we live, an estate in tranquil, tree-lined valley ten minutes' walk from a major rail station and twenty from the city centre. The sole reason I can discern for this being the case is that the new build hellscape has allocated parking spaces. Also where we live, there's some social housing.

People are idiots.

Since I’ve been lived in this area I’ve seen what was fields turn into that mess of new builds and mud you describe. I am told there is a nice park at the top of the development not explored yet. Keep meaning to get off the bus early to have a look for it.

I have a few colleagues who live where I think your home must be, and I looked at a few places there when I was renting and I thought it was quite nice, but ultimately didn’t want to live in even a small city. I think it’s an really underrated part of the city though.

 

[nagapie]

I hitched up at that too.

I’ve lived in London my whole life, and in Brixton for more than half of that. I’ve never been stabbed. I don’t think I’m in the minority.

Yep, another Brixton dweller and definitely not at risk of being stabbed. Stabbings are too high among some groups, definitely not middle aged white women, but it's still way away from anyone's norm.

 

[not henry]

Perhaps you could hitch hike to the south coast then blag your way on anything that floats to get you across the channel. You could then spend the next one or two years making your way through a myriad of countries to Africa for instance or if you feel similarly doomed continue further east. You could in your travels say hello to everyone going in the opposite direction.
Location location location

 

[cupid_stunt]

getting stabbed because you live in a city klaxon!

Yeah, TBF, there's a problem with knife crime even in Worthing.

 

[Plumdaff]

When we first left London and moved to Cardiff we lived in a proper suburb on the outskirts of the city and I absolutely hated it. Hated how quiet it was and how it made us very car dependant.

We moved to the outskirts of the city centre. I like being near the centre of a city, but a small city where I can easily get to beaches and greenery when I want.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

Assimilate or die