I've got to admit that at this point, I'm pretty despairing of what can be done. Even the way the whole subject is framed means that it isn't going to be resolved. It gets discussed in terms of individuals -- individual decisions, individual behaviours, individual freedoms, individual nature. But this isn't a problem of "the individual". In fact, it is the prevailing culture of society, in which people are thought of as distinct individuals that kind of meander their way throught life by bumping off other individuals like billiard balls or atoms, that is the very heart of this problem. It's what allows us to carve off other entities as "not-us" and objectify them. Sometimes that objectification means that we give them the lowest wage that we can get away with and not worry ourselves about the consequences on their lives. Sometimes that objectification means that we see them as objects of sexual gratification that can be raped and murdered. Either way, it comes from a lack of empathy, which derives from not understanding that our fellow humans exist in a social web with us, and that we are defined by those interactions, not by some kind of totally isolated, intra-psychic essence of the self.
In the 1970s and 1980s, it seemed like we might be getting somewhere with this. There was focus on social reproduction, emotional labour, self-commodification and how power relations subjectify indivduals into accepting their -- and others' -- place in their hierarchy. This led to looking at what the historic role of women had been and how to respect these roles more. But then neoliberalism fought back and gave us the trappings of equality whilst privatising the way labour is able to reproduce itself. The result was further self-commodification and the message that any problems you still face, women, are now all on you -- after all, we've given you equality, what more do you want?
Women still faced structural inequality everywhere but the language to talk about it was increasingly lost or removed -- it's all about choice! And if you make the wrong choices, well, that's all on you. Tough shit. So get those exams, women, and enter the meritocratic system! But when you get there, still be feminine, still be a woman, which involves all the things you shouldn't do as a woman, like challenge authority. Be good, but not too good. Be professional but make sure you don't look like a man. Make sure you consult the fashion-beauty complex to ensure everyone knows you are feminine as well as successful. Be girl power! You're in control of your sexual freedom, but don't be too free. It's all on you now.
In a world in which choice is king, how is it anybody else's responsibility to direct the choices of others?
I am aware that this is a lament, not constructive. What am I doing? I've spent decades trying to point out the practical effects of this kind of objectification and atomisation in day to day life. Every time I hear men talking in a way that objectifies in all its forms -- not just sexual objectification -- I raise the problem. It's done nothing except isolate me. People know what I think and they don't care. I can't fight the entire social environment just by saying things to people. It's hopeless.
If that were me, I'd be getting myself some new friends.
