Funny you should say that Farmer. A couple or three years ago, they did a wide-ranging large-scale consumer behavioural study (basically from a humanistic psychological viewpoint of happiness and self-actualisation) and this study was looking into what character differences might be attributable to people who really like Marmite, and those who actively despise it. It seems common that ambivalence, that is to say neither liking it or hating it, is a rare trait. This meant that finding a dichotomous cohort of both lovers and haters was easy - and the findings extraordinary.
Those who self-reported as being lovers of Marmite were statistically considerably more likely to have a far higher corresponding co-occurrence of self-defined social empathy, wit, personal style and, interestingly, a more open-minded approach to life and it's experiences, that led to far higher life satisfaction levels.
Concomitantly, it was found that those who expressed a deep aversion to Marmite (what they would define as "hate", on a sliding scale of emotional responses presented to them) were found on average to be far less happy, less funny, were dressed like errant scarecrows and, interestingly, had a more closed-minded approach to life and it's experiences, that led to lower satisfaction levels, and a lower sense of personal achievement in life.
So, what can be drawn from these studies?
Well, loving Marmite is clearly either a precursor OR a product of you being happy, contented, witty, stylish, basically living your best life with your arms open - lovers of Marmite are far more likely to carry a personal sense of social and emotional balance, what some might term the essential modern success.
Conversely, it's clear that hating Marmite to the point of frothing at one's yeastless maw about just how much one hates it when the subject arises, is either the cause OR the effect of that soul-less, empty, disconnected, gloomy, shabbily-attired dullard kind of feeling, that is one's existence without Marmite (and which one is still somehow, valiantly, admirably able to pass off as a life!)
The jury is out on cause and effect, that was outwith this study's remit. But science. Oh, and there was a very small cross-section of what we might as well call the "maladjusted haters", who recorded a scatological reference when giving their open-ended emotional responses to Marmite. These outliers were deemed by the psychologists to be classifiable WrongUns, and not worth trying to save with pointless empathy, life coaching or behavioural therapies, for example, but rather dealt with by judicial branding, shackling and putting on an island.
Which is strong for the scientific community, but who are we to argue?
