AnnO'Neemus
Is so vanilla
Again, shevek, isn't there an issue regarding the disparity of incomes between you and your partner. If your income is low and you can't afford to pay half of the 675 rent, then shouldn't you put it to your partner that maybe you should consider moving to somewhere cheaper? If there's only two of you, you should be able to get a one bed place that's less than 675 per month.I have bipolar disorder and in August 2007 I had a manic episode which meant I had to be hospitalised for a month. I had just finished Uni in the May and didn't have enough national insurance contributions accrued to claim IB. Because I have a partner we couldn't claim income support or housing benefit even though it takes two incomes to pay our £675 rent to our private landlord + bills. Since then I have worked in a series of dead end jobs averaging about £500 per month income. My job is hanging in the balance again now and I dont think I will be able to claim anything. I went to see the secretary of my local MP but nothing came of it.
It seems as though your partner is expecting to live the lifestyle that his income affords him, completely disregarding the fact that your income does not support your contributing half shares, which is arguably putting you under a heck of a lot of undue pressure, which surely can't be good for your mental health. (iirc, wasn't there an issue of your partner having a really finicking and expensive diet, being really insistent about what he will or won't eat, but insisting that you pay half towards the groceries, even though you can't really afford it, and you're not the one who's the fussy eater?)
It sounds as though your partner really wants to have his cake and eat it, just wants to carry on living his life regardless of the fact that you really can't keep up with his spending practices.
I really think you need to have an open and honest conversation about all the pressure that it's putting you under, that you're living in a property with a high rent, that you're on a limited income and can't afford to keep up with his spending preferences.
If he really can't make any compromises, or if he can't or won't shoulder more of the financial burden to take into account that you're partners, then maybe you ought to be asking yourself whether he's giving you the kind of respect that you deserve.
From things you've said in the past, it seems as though he's demanding that you're equal partners in terms of spending, when the reality is that you're not equal partners in terms of earning.
Your situation is much like a husband-wife partnership in that respect, where he fulfills the traditional role of 'breadwinner', he's the one with the full-time career, whereas you're in a part-time and low paid job. I'm guessing that in such relationships, the 'breadwinner' doesn't expect or demand that their supporting partner pays a half share of everything. I'm guessing that because you work part-time that you do a lot of things around the housework, keep on top of things domestically, which enables him to concentrate on his career.