I assume she really does have cancer and that they weren’t all joking, having a bit of a laugh, ‘pulling her plonker’ as the demotic has it. Or — another consideration — that it’s a publicity stunt whipped up by Jade’s charming agent, Max Clifford. Or again, it is not inconceivable, I suppose, that written into Goody’s contract was a demand that at some point she be seen to be suffering from a potentially fatal illness, given that without one she isn’t very interesting any more. A stroke would have made for more dramatic television, but cancer, you have to say, has a certain cachet. Jade’s life expectancy as a celebrity has certainly entered its tamoxifen and radiation therapy stage, although it is not quite at the no-more-drugs-I-just-wish-to-be-at-home-with-the-family endgame. It has been a fairly brief life in the spotlight, although not brief enough for many. Calling the smug Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty ‘poppadom’ and thus causing a national furore about racism was the high point of her career; since then it’s all been downhill.