Louisa Pfennig hits Berlin (1925)
After spending three days in the beating heart of the cabaret scene in Europe it was time for me to be rudely brought down to view the pockmarked visage of the new volkish right in Germany. My bohemian lifestyle among the artistes and activists of Weimar Berlin seemed a world away as I agreed to meet the rising star of German fascism in an exorbitant Munich restaurant.
He disembarked from a luxurious Mercedes. Chuckling, he led me into the beer-hall.
"I enjoy the largesse of left-wing journalists" he said. "I would not be able to live without it."
He looked sharp in a stylish uniform which resembled that worn by soldiers during the Great War, something which still casts a shadow over Germany. His red armband with the crooked cross against a white background was particularly striking. I wondered where he obtained the funds for this, given he portrays himself as a champion of the little man.
My good friend Musselpear was performing her usual routine, scant strasses from where I sat. Sweat gleamed on his small moustache as he ordered two plates of sauerkraut and the most expensive bratwurst on the menu. I caught a whiff of his Eau de Volk, the hottest fragrance on Germany's market.
I dismissed his talk of Jews instantly. Agitators for social change have long struggled with the complicated issues thrown up by the concept of Jewish emancipation, and I did not wish to dwell upon it, especially when he expressed himself in so vulgar and tedious a manner.
Such opinions are not to be found within the pages of Punch magazine.
As any gentleman would, he rose as I did, half-masticated bratwurst still in his mouth, his thrown Roman salute almost took out my eye as I excused myself to go to the ladies'.
This is Adolf Hitler. Has he any idea of the Germanic grace he is attempting to defend? What is this lebensraum that he and his shady friends are attempting to create?
Hitler is unable to describe any positive features of the country in which he lives instead he conjures up a nightmarish vision of a society run by Jews. The brave heroes of the First World War thrown onto the streets.
"I've been to NSDAP demonstrations," I say. "At the one where you were on last November, where you tried to launch a coup from a beer hall".
"That was no coup," says Hitler, as he removes a piece of sauerkraut from hsi teeth. "That was the start of a national awakening"
Most German people do not share Hitler's paranoid prejudices. I should know because I am Louisa Pfennig.
Last year's economic crash will in no way engender support for a handful of madmen and their schemes. How could it, when I have stood side by side with Munich's political agitators and the cream of German bohemian society as they burn copies of Das Kapital to keep their hands warm as they march for freedom?
I leave Hitler sat on the table, poring over his sausage, screaming obscenities at the barmaids. So we have it. The far right can never conquer Germany.