Daughter rings in massive tizz - can you do the birthday cake for imminent birthday (4 year old Grand-daughter)?. 'Course, no problem'. 'She wants a frozen cake'. 'What, like ice-cream'?'. 'No, Frozen....Elsa, Anna and that stuff'. 'Fuck!'
Huge bake-off proceeds, 2 enormous chiffon cakes knocked up quicksmart (thank you, Betty Crocker) and then a spot of cheating with ready-rolled fondant icing. Conifers - a brainwave - the ends of ice-cream cones with green buttercream and an orange Matchmaker chocolate stuck up the middle.
True the 3 tier behemoth had a distinctly amateur look about it but as far as I was concerned, the criteria for childish cakes had been met - 2 boxes of icing sugar for the fillings alone...and the fact that it was absolutely fucking gigantic (must feed 30 kids!!)
One plastic figurine balanced on top and we are set to go.
I believe it was videoed and whacked onto Facebook - my recollections were at least 25 or so small girls, all wearing crumpled fairy wings (they had a bouncy castle) with a fair bit of shouting 'I want the Elsa'....followed by a massive sugar rush and unseemly behaviour with cocktail sticks.
And now, having fled to the horsebox for R&R, am back home about to tackle some restful blueberry muffins - with rhubarb still (obvs).