Writing Dominic Cummings fan fiction lol, it's very cathartic. This is one of the last things I wrote
Sitting at my computer, I opened Boris's emails and noticed that there were 200 all on the same subject, and more were arriving every few minutes. Usually I just deleted them, they just said things like 'important' and 'urgent' and I just turned off. When I was an adviser to Michael Gove's education department, I learned that if it is said to be urgent it probably isnt, a very important rule of politics.
I had a text and for a surprise, it was from the man himself.
'Hi Dom, I'm with Matt and Boris. I've got 3 grams of Peruvian white here. Are you coming?'
I got up from the computer, my shirt experiment would have to come to an end so I picked up a new one from the wardrobe. As I got ready and checked myself in the mirror I remembered that it was my wife's birthday next month. I would have to organise something for it and was not sure I could leave it to the last minute. Maybe we would go to Durham again.
I walked out of the door, one phone in each pocket and two in my holdall, which made me feel like a renegade hacker, and went to meet the boys. Govey always has the best drugs.
'Sorry darling,' I wrote to Mary. 'I've got to meet the prime minister, Michael Gove and Matt Hancock urgently.'
'OK, darling, is it about Brexit?' came the reply.
'It's about that new coronavirus everyone is talking about,' I replied on WhatsApp, thoughts of SARS-COV-2 occupying my mind. It was the only thing I could think about. 'We need to go through the pandemic preparations and make sure everything is in order. I don't think this is the Big One but you never know.'
'OK,' Mary replied. 'By the way, the little one's asking about going to a castle.'
I would like to go to a castle too, I thought as I approached Govey's flat and rang the buzzer. Boris was annoying when he was on coke, but he was easy to handle, if he acted up I'd swiftly put him in place. Matt Hancock was like a psychopathic puppy at times, it was funny to watch.
'It's Dom,' I said, and the door opened, I walked to the lift and pressed the button for the third floor. The interior of the building was a little down market for my taste but Gove had invested in this flat purely for the purpose of having somewhere to sample South America's most sought-after export when the pressures of state became too much.