...last weekend's heartbreaking news that Richard Branson has moved permanently to his Virgin Island tax haven has suddenly become two-pronged. To an interview in Tuesday's Times, then, and a threat so grave that this column has been heavily sedated ever since reading it.
There really is no easy way to say this, but Trudie Styler, too, is thinking of ditching us. "I don't want to criticise my country," explains Trudie graciously, "but there are times I feel that Sting and myself have been treated unkindly [by the British press]."
I'm sure we all wish a pox on these scribblers – I myself seem to be coming out in hives just thinking about them – who have led Trudie to conclude she is far more relaxed in America "not having to second-guess myself". Her conclusion is as blood-curdling as it is self-effacing: "Sting and I need to think what our relationship is to England in the long term."
Rethinking their relationship with England? Why do I picture a wailing and snot-streaked England literally hanging on to Sting and Trudie's legs, and screaming: "Wait! Don't leave me! I can CHANGE!", before altering tack and sending them 473 abusive text messages threatening to kill itself if they don't relent and realise just how perfect we all are together.
But perhaps all is not lost. This may be just the denial stage talking, but I think it's important to recognise that Sting and Trudie have not definitely stated they will abandon us. The interview is possibly a warning shot designed to shock the nation into contemplating the reality of losing one of its cultural crown jewels.
Even so, what has brought it all on? "The unkind treatment," speculates the Times, "may be a reference to the damaging story a few years ago when the couple's personal chef successfully sued for unfair dismissal after losing her job while pregnant."
"It was very wounding," explains Trudie. "I wasn't even asked to speak up for myself. It was trial by Daily Mail."
Technically, it was trial by Southampton employment tribunal (case unanimously upheld, with Ms Styler's "shameful conduct" toward her servants cited in a blistering judgment) – but go on.
"Rockstars' wives have never been given an easy time," observes Trudie. "They weren't nice about Linda McCartney till she died."
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...17/trudie-styler-threatening-to-leave-britain
