Perhaps a distinction should start to be drawn between people who have concerns, questions, or anxieties about issues relating to transgenderism and 'terfs' who really believe trans-women do not have the right to exist. This is an organised and
sometimes violent movement that has hounded transwomen ever since they began to emerge in feminist spaces. And whilst this is only really a small number of radical feminists they are well represented in the media, often have well read blogs and have been able to cause real damage to trans people.
Perhaps the most insiduous aspect of this is that many myths, created by terfs, have slipped into normal discourse including on here at times. Studies which claimed to show transwomen retain male patterns of criminality but in reality show no such thing are repeatedly cited. Reactionary doctors who believe in reparation therapy are lauded as experts. Select committee reports and defunct bills are presented as new laws. If a transperson commits a violent crime this is used to attack all transpeople. Crackpot pseudo-scientific theories on trangenderism are presented as facts. That terfs (by which I mean those with the most extreme views) seem not to care that the studies they spout don't show what they say they do, or that statistics don't back up their fear mongering suggests that this is an ideological campaign, which is not interested in the truth, which believes transpeople have no right to exist at best and should be relentlessly attacked at worst. And this of course is what many of them openly believe, but realising this belief is unpopular they have created a wall of misinformation in an attempt to draw other feminists to their position. And it works. So when the first group I mentioned, of questioning/concerned women, repeat what transpeople know to be misinformation then they are assumed to be part of the second group, or why would they be repeating what is often little more than a slur? And then a big row breaks out that should probably never have happened.
A way round this might to start challenging that misinformation, for people to carefully check scary stories they might have read about transpeople for accuracy, but also a rejection and condemnation by all those who support the right of transgender people to exist of the small number of trans exclusionary radical feminists who seem to operate as little more than an obsessive hate group.
Anyway probably a bit of a derail, but just a thought.