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London SlutWalk - now *11th*June, 1pm Trafalgar Square

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gavman said:
well said. when i'm lonely a gorgeous girl dressed in skimpy clothing is actually painful to behold. it's like twisting a knife and saying 'look, see what you can't have'
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If you experience pain akin to someone "twisting the knife" every time you see an attractive girl pass by, I'd suggest you may some rather troubling psychological problems to sort out, to be honest.
 
ymu said:
That's the thing though. I raped a man once for precisely those reasons. That and not having proper thought about what rape was. (Coitus interruptus, me on top, simultaneous orgasm, I was weak.)
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imagine the response this post would get if you were a man
 
so of the two of us, one is a rapist trying to impose their way of thinking on everyone else, the other is a confused hermit

i know which i feel happier being
 
gavman said:
so buying someone a drink is exercising power, whereas getting a man to buy you a drink because you are dressed in a way that will excite him isn't?

you also show a fundamental lack of understanding of what excites men and women. male masturbatory aids are almost exclusively visual; porn.
whereas for women it is physical aids such as vibrators or the rabbit. so when women dress provocatively they genuinely don't understand the response they are causing, other than the enjoying free drinks they get bought
does flashing the cash or bragging about a car actually turn women on? is it a prelude to masturbation when women are by themselves, to imagine flash blokes with lots of money?
or does this analogy show you haven't understood the power manipulation that is actually taking place?
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both things are exercising power - but they're only powerful (i believe the word used was 'control[ing]') if you're an interested recipient. If someone doesn't want to be flirted with, they won't find themselves chatting up the skimpily-dressed woman. Or letting the bloke buy them drinks. and yes, some women find blokes who flash cash very much the turn-on. I also know that some blokes don't find women showing lots of flesh attractive. I'm very familiar with the traditional male = visual / female = narrative sexual triggers - there is a huge amount of written pornography which is generally consumed by women. But not all men respond to the same visual triggers, just like not all men prefer glossy american porn (or even enjoy porn at all).

yes some (straight) women fantasise over the kind of bloke they want. and for some that will be money. the whole footballer's wife wannabee type will openly admit that they actively go for rich blokes. others are into creative, tortured muso types... and blokes who are that type often put on their own show - self-consciously playing with power and attraction by gettinga guitar out at a party, or cornering a girl they think will be interested and spouting philosophy at them. it's all part of the same thing. some people of both genders enjoy putting themselves out their and seeing what power their particular brand of attractiveness will have. and it's entirely harmless. no one is being controlled. if you weren't interested you'd walk away.
 
gavman said:
well said. when i'm lonely a gorgeous girl dressed in skimpy clothing is actually painful to behold. it's like twisting a knife and saying 'look, see what you can't have'
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jesus, really? you want to make peace with yourself. the world is fuller every day with gorgeous people who are never going to sleep with you. (not just you, obv. it's a universal thing).
 
It's not something I'm proud of, and Ii wouldn't put it it out there if I wasn't prepared to discuss it. I've been raped in odd circumstances too. I'm trying to frame a discussion that doesn't descend into tribalism, that's all.
 
you know, like the way i was trying to explore the flaws in my own reasoning, caused by my own experiences, before i was accused of everything under the sun
 
petee said:
i'm a moron because you raped someone?
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You're a moron cos you think provocative dress provides mitigating circumstances for rape. Indeed, you see it as a power-balancing necessity.

I just got a bit carried away cumming whilst fucking my first love, and later fiance.
 
i'll try that one in court, then.
'i just got carried away, m'lud'
i'm sure that will satisfy everyone concerned
 
ymu said:
You're a moron cos you think provocative dress provides mitigating circumstances for rape. Indeed, you see it as a power-balancing necessity.
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that's a lie and a libel, though its interesting that you feel comfortable doing that too. another poster claimed that dressing 'provokatively' was a power/control act, i pointed out that i wished there was no such opportunity, by anyone against anyone. in fact i explicitly degraded the canadian cop's comments.

otoh getting 'carried away' is sufficient justification for what you yourself called a rape. but really, he probably "wanted it."
 
gavman said:
forgive me, i'm being silly. this is obviously one of those less serious rapes us misogynists like to talk about
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Where have I not acknowledged responsibility for my own actions, or their seriousness?

You think all rapes are equally upsetting?

When I was raped, he physically tore off my clothes and was inside me before I knew what was happening. But he was doing it in his sleep and I fancied him rotten, so it was a lot more traumatic for him than me as it turned out.

You have a simpliistic, as well as nasty, little mind.
 
spanglechick said:
both things are exercising power - but they're only powerful (i believe the word used was 'control[ing]') if you're an interested recipient. If someone doesn't want to be flirted with, they won't find themselves chatting up the skimpily-dressed woman. Or letting the bloke buy them drinks. and yes, some women find blokes who flash cash very much the turn-on. I also know that some blokes don't find women showing lots of flesh attractive. I'm very familiar with the traditional male = visual / female = narrative sexual triggers - there is a huge amount of written pornography which is generally consumed by women. But not all men respond to the same visual triggers, just like not all men prefer glossy american porn (or even enjoy porn at all).

yes some (straight) women fantasise over the kind of bloke they want. and for some that will be money. the whole footballer's wife wannabee type will openly admit that they actively go for rich blokes. others are into creative, tortured muso types... and blokes who are that type often put on their own show - self-consciously playing with power and attraction by gettinga guitar out at a party, or cornering a girl they think will be interested and spouting philosophy at them. it's all part of the same thing. some people of both genders enjoy putting themselves out their and seeing what power their particular brand of attractiveness will have. and it's entirely harmless. no one is being controlled. if you weren't interested you'd walk away.
Click to expand...

When i was young and used to drink in Cardiff town centre, I've saw many girls skimpied up, getting blokes to buy them drinks and legging it to the next pub to find the next mug. They never had any interest in the blokes other than using them as a free bar.

They full well knew their power and were abusing it for self interest.

And no this isn't bitterness at it being done to me. I was never that daft to think solely with my cock and get conned / manipulated, despite the fact we all used to wear suits and got approached a lot as likely well off targets.
 
Rutita1 said:
What bingo wings? Or maybe to you that is an appropriate put down for a woman you don't fancy who actually doesn't have flabby arms but is a little too old for your taste? :rolleyes:
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i'd only previously heard women using the term, and then for comic effect. is it like the n-word, some people can and some people can't?
 
ymu said:
Where have I not acknowledged responsibility for my own actions, or their seriousness?

You think all rapes are equally upsetting?

When I was raped, he physically tore off my clothes and was inside me before I knew what was happening. But he was doing it in his sleep and I fancied him rotten, so it was a lot more traumatic for him than me as it turned out.

You have a simpliistic, as well as nasty, little mind.
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no, i'm just pointing out that no man could get away with saying what you've said. ken clarke went through the wringer for daring to suggest what you've just said.
and you've accused me of trying to control women's bodies because i wouldn't want to go out with another promiscuous girl, after my previous hideous experience. it just seems there's some shocking doublethink going on, where the same thing matters more depending on the gender of who said it.

anyway, i have no interest in inhibiting you from working through your demons. i can relate to it, because i was trying to do the same. i will now fuck off from this thread
 
Bollocks. I'm saying nothing like what Clarke said. You only think it's the same because you're a simple-minded moron.
 
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